Hi all,
I've been a lurker and I've posted before along similar lines, and I have been gone for a while, but over the years I haven't had much improvement, partly due to lack of action on my own part (ironically, that's part of the problem), so now hopefully some of you curious and motivated people can help me out.
Before I start, I'd like to say that I never really had serious family problems.. I was raised in a stable family with small little problems that most families face and I don't have anything that might be considered to harsh, in terms of my surroundings. I am not addicted to drugs or any substances.
But, what is the problem, you ask? I feel that my brain doesn't function very well. My thoughts are never clear, I have a hard time understanding anything that's even slightly conceptual or abstract. I am not sure what I am thinking about at a particular moment, and I have problems focusing. This has caused me to be socially inadequate, and this is the result of my depression. I am not good at talking with people because I am not sure how to respond, not sure what my thoughts are, I have trouble expressing my ideas too, and I cant really wrap words around my thoughts (I guess, maybe, because my thoughts are not clear to begin with?) etc... I'm even having trouble expressing/explaining myself here.
Also, I have a very high amount of lethargy. I don't have enough energy to begin doing a lot of things. My low energy levels have been a big problem in my life, and it doesn't have much to do with motivation.. I might be motivated to do something but I won't be able to do anything unless I down a couple of Redbulls to physically get my body going.. I believe this might be related to the problem of my brain's crankiness.
As a result.. I am a very static person. A very still person. Because I don't know how to react to things people say or what thoughts I am having.. and when I see other people being so fast, witty and able to understand things long before even I do, it has made me very depressed and I really need help fixing this. :(
In most social situations, even at work, I have a lot of difficulty fitting in, as a result of the things that I explain above, and it has caused me a great amount of depression in life and I feel very helpless. It might look like I'm asking for psychological help, but I am not, for I am pretty sure that the cause of all the depression is my brain's low cognition performance:
- Hazy thoughts
- Brain fog?
- Unable to focus
- Unable to understand anything that is slightly abstract
- Very low energy levels, making me very lethargic as a result.
- Resulting social anxiety, perhaps?
I've visited a psychiatrist in the past, and he simply gave me some Ritalin. When it does work, it works well, I feel extremely good and productive. I can study well and actually seem to learn something, and also able to effectively engage in discussions and debates with certain clarity. My mood gets really positive, I care more than usual about the welfare of people, and I can get work done. However, it is like Russian roulette sometimes.. it can make me feel weirdly tired, or slightly tight around the chest sometimes, and very dry.. as if I'm constantly thirsty. But a lot of the times it has also given me negative effects, and I get extremely anxious, makes me pretty worried and restless in general - it can be a pretty terrible feeling.. so I've decided to stop Ritalin and look to alternatives which give e batter overall effect, especially cognitively.
I have not really tried a lot of nootropics or supplements such as Lion's Mane.. but I was wondering perhaps you guys here can give me some recommendations on what could be the cause or what kind of supplements or nootropics might help fix it?
Any input is appreciated. Thanks a lot.
PS. Apologies in advance if my post sounds long-winded or unclear... it's exactly the problem I'm trying to fix here.