I must agree it is hell, and I want to follow through so badly. Let me tell you guys, I read in the Taoism, that if you lose your fluids it drains your life force. I just have not been able to shake it off as just superstition, I am terribly afraid it may be true.
Here is my experience.
When I first tried a high quality of rhodiola, it sent me into a full blown manic altered state for about 4 or 5 days. I was under intense stress to write a paper I had put off for 3 months. Well I went from being brain dead and stupid, to having overwhelming creativity. I have never felt more alive and creative in my life. It was like what I hear psilocybin or LSD induced value changing experiences to be. So I started writing this paper when I was in this altered state. This paper was a ridiculous 13000 word paper, over economics, probably the most brilliant thing I will ever write. It was an approach against modern global economics and industrial scale of economies. I took a lot of paradign influences from Orwell, Huxely, Krugman, Bill Mckibben, etc.. so forth, hence it was a very "radical" libertarian (not liberal) paper over global macroeconmics and sociology. This is the kind of thing you write when as you say.
"Maybe the "vibrating with clarity" is a bit poetic, but the abstinence led to a pervasive erotic lustre that surrounded everything--erotic in the more classical sense of "desirable" or "desired", rather than the modern "sexual". Everything became an object of intense interest, even the dry tomes I was studying at the time"
I was EXTREMELY horny during this period of 4 or 5 days, but I probably went 8 days leading up to the "breaking" point, of absitence, I was not trying to abstain, but I was just so distracted with writing. I broke this fast, and let me tell you, the "crash" after that was the most intense crash I think I have ever experienced. I do not know if I have ever felt such a feeling of the life draining out of me from so high to so low. Fortunately I had not developed this god for saken tolerance to rhodiola just yet, and I worked myself back into a slightly less frenzied state over another course of 8 days of abstinence from sexual activity. In this, I was able to finish most of the paper. (In the end the last 20 percent of the paper required the abuse of endless amounts of caffeine and sugar). I am pretty sure I killed major brain cells writing this paper. It was probably worth it though.
This is how you perceive the world when you have full control. That is why I desire so badly that feeling. That is why I so badly have an interest in nootropics.
I have an intense interest in science and changing the world, I already see things so differently from the people around me, and feel like my mind is trapped by its illness.
If i just KNEW with CERTAINTY, abstinence could give me back my mental clarity, and that it was not some other illness, I do not think all the sex and hedonism in the world would be worth what I could do with my mind.
If I had my mind, and had full control of my health, I would be a very influental charismatic person. Perhaps you could be too.
Edited by sam7777, 24 September 2011 - 03:10 AM.