You are underestimating the impact of parenting and our need as humans for love. There are scientific studies showing that nurture has a long term impact on brain development. Again, I believe you are looking for an easy answer, instead of facing the truth. Why would you and so many others want to think as you do? Because, it's difficult to confront inner conflicts that are painful. Sorry bro, whatever negatively affected you and whatever you did not get that you needed, as we all need, in your crucial developmental years and throughout childhood and adolescence, is still having an impact on you. There was a permanent impact that can only be influenced if you can open your mind and find the strength to confront and deal with the reality that is inside you. This is the truth.
Biology plays a major role, yes it does. But, nurture is what dictates how biology will develop. In the case of someone that is bipolar, episodes will be less likely and less severe if a child gets most of what they need.
If you want this world to stop being as cruel as it is, you will try as hard as you can to have an open mind, and see that the reasons for how we turn out in childhood, adolescence, and adulthood are far more complex than you now realize. I hope this all starts to make sense to you soon, it will only be of your benefit.
Btw, there is a place for everyone in this world to feel good about themselves and confident.
I bet you are a pretty young dude. It would make sense that you are given the way you see the the world and the people in it. When we are young, it's much harder to face some things. And, we usually have not had enough time to experience those things which help to open our eyes and our hearts.
Logan is right. Ones personality is formed through experience, and as a child you're a lot more susceptible to whatever behaviors and situations you're being exposed to. Take language for example - if the way you speak is so dependent on your upbringing, why wouldn't the rest of your personality be as well?
However I don't think that conventional therapy is very effective at dealing with some of these deeply rooted problems. Sure, talking can help you process the problems and their causes on an intellectual level, but that's often not enough. You need to be able process them on a deep emotional level too, otherwise you won't make any real change and might just fall back into your old patterns even after years of therapy.
So how does one reach these deeper levels of the psyche? For me the answer is Ayahuasca.
I´ve been around for a while. Sure one can go to psychology if he was socially wounded and try to make his amends with himself. But from all the psychology I have read, and experienced personally. I haven´t seen that there isn´t any real scientific data backing it up on a long term basis. As for the teaching, and then I am mainly talking about talk- group therapy is, that I don´t believe it works. I haven´t seen a real clinical approach to how it should work or how it is done. Actually the contrary, a lot of it is based on loose ends, old theories and approaches that really isn´t backed up by science.
I am just stating the fact of the world. It is the survival of the fittest, not everyone is fit for fight. Take a clinical shy kid for instance, he can go to therapy, do all the hard work and seemingly get better. I am talking about shyness from a biological perspective here, anxiety, low confidence, esteem etc. He doesn´t have any childhood issues so no idea in digging further there. He does the hard work as you say and works his way through as you point out, he appears to be better. Question is if he is actually better? Or if he just has learned to do a behavioural change, mask his symptoms to act out in his sociability without reflecting that he is actually shy at the moment. We humans are actually very good at being in a state without realising how we feel, it´s when we do improve when we understand how we felt. This is the delusion I was talking about.
Let´s get on with the story...
Then there the other guy, he has always been confident, he likes being in the centre of attention, is very good socially and has never had any issues with being who he is, or where he comes from, he is also low on empathy. He has had it rough but doesn't get down by it, actually it has made him stronger in his skills to cope. This is also mainly due to biological reasons.
In a scenario where these two meet. E.g if both were up for leadership position and had to argue with each other, prove their sociability in a social area. Which one would win do you think? Who would gradually be degraded in the social hierarchy do you think? I'm betting the shy kid would.
My viewpoint on therapy is based on as with everything else, I see it through a critical eye. I know a girl who went to therapy for three years, she popped pills and did everything she could. Well after they/she concluded that she was better and started ending her sessions, a few months passed. She tapered down her pills and a few months later. She was back there, she became the very person she was when she got there initially. This is not the only time I have seen it happen. I have seen it happen on several times. Countless of people coming out of therapy believing that they are better when in fact, they were not. And the only one´s who gained anything from it was their therapists.
Now I don't know what was up or going on in their heads, if they weren't open enough to see "the truth" whatever that means! Or that they weren´t intelligent enough to lift their heavy weights which means that they were weak. Just as you point out, and therefore will never surpass if nature doesn´t allow them to. Sadly though.
What bothers me is that these therapist´s are given a lot of money to take care of people and seemingly, they can´t prove that their work is actually helping. Why is psychotherapy perceived being a profession of science and is facilitated on clinical basis when in fact, there is no such thing going on. What if other professions worked like this, it would make the whole system collapse.What if we had a similar approach on phsysical sickness?
What I am propagating is no bullshit therapy. I think that the only reason we have these old therapies is because it´s so grained in the classic educational system which includes professors, teachers, clinicians and so fort. And it all hangs on a presumption that what they are doing, is actually giving people a good stable mental health which I don´t think happens so often that we can call it it´s well worth. They all are backing up each other but if anything, they deserve more criticism so better alternatives will take shape. It´s like it all hangs on a presumption that it works.
If you are going to therapy, have a goal, have a plan and be confident enough to criticise the therapist if you aren´t getting the help that you deserve, they do make a lot of money.