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Dating a partner with genital herpes

staying safe

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#1 OFFLINE   nushu

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Posted 24 March 2012 - 03:21 PM


My friend recently met a girl he likes- but she was infected with genital herpes over 10 years ago. She has an outbreak about once a year and says they are much milder than they have been in years past. She's been on a daily dose of Valtrex for years. My question is, have any of you had a partner with herpes and not become infected? My understanding is that many who have healthy immune systems will not contract the virus when exposed.

#2 ONLINE   Hebbeh Re: Dating a partner with genital herpes

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Posted 24 March 2012 - 03:43 PM

View Postnushu, on 24 March 2012 - 03:21 PM, said:

My friend recently met a girl he likes- but she was infected with genital herpes over 10 years ago. She has an outbreak about once a year and says they are much milder than they have been in years past. She's been on a daily dose of Valtrex for years. My question is, have any of you had a partner with herpes and not become infected? My understanding is that many who have healthy immune systems will not contract the virus when exposed.

It is my understanding that you will contract the virus. The question is whether you will display symptoms. From what I understand, a large percentage of people are positive for the virus but never have symptoms....they are carriers. But the virus is still in your body...and can still cause issues...just not symptoms. I researched this a couple years ago for a good friend whose daughter contracted herpes after only having a couple partners who each claimed to never have had herpes. And supposedly, you can carry the virus without symptoms for years and years...and then have an outbreak at a much later date. That's what I recall from my research....but suggest you may want to research it further. Personally, I would never risk it...if I knew. Who in their right mind would knowingly expose themselves to an incurable disease? That is how these diseases keep spreading.

#3 OFFLINE   Luminosity Re: Dating a partner with genital herpes

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Posted 25 March 2012 - 06:24 AM

It's probably not worth the risk.  Unless this is the love of his life, I would probably not do this.  

I'm not sure that people really do transmit the virus absent an outbreak.  It seems possible to me that the carriers are falsely claiming that they did not have herpes.  It also seems possible that they had a small outbreak or the beginnings of an outbreak and risked transmitting it because they were horny.  Maybe they told themselves that it wasn't an outbreak but it was.  Maybe they weren't that in touch with their bodies, but that is less likely.   There are also people who would never sleep with anyone during an outbreak.  I'm guessing more women than men fall into this category.  They are also often more in touch with their bodies.  

This is a disease best avoided.

Edited by Luminosity, 25 March 2012 - 06:55 AM.


#4 OFFLINE   nushu Re: Dating a partner with genital herpes

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Posted 25 March 2012 - 10:25 PM

Looks like creatine supplementation may be beneficial.  http://www.ncbi.nlm....pubmed/11516222

#5 OFFLINE   Blankspace Re: Dating a partner with genital herpes

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Posted 26 March 2012 - 01:29 AM

View Postnushu, on 24 March 2012 - 03:21 PM, said:

My understanding is that many who have healthy immune systems will not contract the virus when exposed.

They may still aquire the virus, but may never display the symptoms.

CDC.gov:
"Most people infected with HSV-2 are not aware of their infection. However, if signs and symptoms occur during the first outbreak, they can be quite pronounced. The first outbreak usually occurs within two weeks after the virus is transmitted, and the sores typically heal within two to four weeks. Other signs and symptoms during the primary episode may include a second crop of sores, and flu-like symptoms, including fever and swollen glands. However, most individuals with HSV-2 infection never have sores, or they have very mild signs that they do not even notice or that they mistake for insect bites or another skin condition."

"HSV-1 and HSV-2 can be found in and released from the sores that the viruses cause, but they also are released between outbreaks from skin that does not appear to have a sore. Generally, a person can only get HSV-2 infection during sexual contact with someone who has a genital HSV-2 infection. Transmission can occur from an infected partner who does not have a visible sore and may not know that he or she is infected."

"Results of a nationally representative study show that genital herpes infection is common in the United States. Nationwide, 16.2%, or about one out of six, people 14 to 49 years of age have genital HSV-2 infection. Over the past decade, the percentage of Americans with genital herpes infection in the U.S. has remained stable."

#6 OFFLINE   semi-retarded-individual Re: Dating a partner with genital herpes

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Posted 26 March 2012 - 02:46 AM

The answer to this question is subjective and depends on a host of different things. First, it depends on the type of person your friend is and what his views on STI's are. Secondly, he needs to assess what kind of relationship he wants to have with this girl and whether or not proceeding with her is worth the possible risks involved and the precautionary measures he may decide he wants to take. Unfortunately, even Valtrex and condom usage cannot protect him entirely. Even if she isn't experiencing an outbreak, there is still a small percentage of time throughout the year that she will asymptomatically shed the virus (meaning it can be contracted even if it isn't visible). With a condom on his penis, the base of his shaft can still come into contact with an infected area.

Research the statistics. 1 out of 5 women have it (chances are they don't even know it because most are asymptomatic) and 1 out of 9 men are carriers. Currently over 45 million adults in the US have it. I did a lot of research on this a few years ago when I contracted it from my second sexual partner. The fact is, it is incredibly common and has an overblown stigma attached to it. I have always been cautious in my sex life and have only been intimate with a select number of people who were serious and long-term girlfriends. If someone like me can get it with these things in mind, then nearly every sexually active person has the odds stacked against them for getting it eventually.

The virus itself isn't all that problematic. It's society's perception of it that people are so worried about. The first outbreak is the itchiest and most painful (and even that isn't too bad). Any outbreaks following that one are less severe and become much less frequent with time. I've had a total of maybe 5 outbreaks in 3 years and haven't had one for at least a year. My last couple of been so insignificant symptom-wise that I was hardly even aware of them. Personally, the common cold and flu are more disruptive to my life than a herpes outbreak is.

Most importantly, your friend's potential partner should be commended for her full disclosure in this matter. Considering the fact that so many people unwittingly transmit herpes to their partners, it would be easy for her to keep this particular piece of information about herself private and if the issue were to ever arise, claiming he was an asymptomatic carrier all along and never manifested symptoms until now. The fact that she felt such a concern for his health and wellbeing should not be overlooked. In fact, unless your friend has actually had a herpes blood test performed he doesn't know for sure whether he has it or not! A common STD test will not pick it up. Also, keep in mind that not only do people unknowingly infect one another but even the ones who do know will willingly have unprotected sex because they don't have to be the ones waving the banner for herpes prevention.

The way I see it, NOT contracting herpes is almost unavoidable unless you've been lucky to evade it before settling down with someone else who shares your same good fortune. I don't blame your friend for giving this serious consideration but hopefully with some research he can put this issue into perspective. I'd venture to guess that if he forgoes a relationship with this girl based on this, he may find himself with the exact same dilemma with a girlfriend or two down the line who may not be as willing as she was to divulge the risk to him.

#7 ONLINE   Hebbeh Re: Dating a partner with genital herpes

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Posted 26 March 2012 - 04:27 AM

If all a herpes infected person had to worry about is an occasional outbreak, then I would agree that it may be overblown, however, my big concern with the risk of herpes is that there is considerable evidence developing that it very likely has a relationship to Alzheimer’s or at least contributes in some fashion to the risk of Alzheimer’s. There are several long threads about the connection on the forum if you care to search. I've seen Alzheimer’s up close and personal...and am convinced that it is the worst death possible...a very slow death that robs you of your very existence...and as such, is very mentally painful for both the victim and the loved ones to see and have to live with over the long haul as it runs it's course...something I wouldn't wish on just about anybody...and would be my worst nightmare to live....and as such, wouldn't risk anything, including possible herpes, that could possibly contribute to spending the last 10-20 years of my "golden years" like that...and herpes is forever….so if the Alzheimer’s risk is valid…and it is looking like it probably is…then herpes can be fatal in the end.  Supposedly the virus “hides” in the nervous system and can eventually make it’s way to the brain via the nervous system….there apparently is research looking at this and several threads discussing it on the forum.

Edited by Hebbeh, 26 March 2012 - 04:47 AM.


#8 OFFLINE   semi-retarded-individual Re: Dating a partner with genital herpes

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Posted 26 March 2012 - 09:21 PM

View PostHebbeh, on 26 March 2012 - 04:27 AM, said:

If all a herpes infected person had to worry about is an occasional outbreak, then I would agree that it may be overblown, however, my big concern with the risk of herpes is that there is considerable evidence developing that it very likely has a relationship to Alzheimer’s or at least contributes in some fashion to the risk of Alzheimer’s. There are several long threads about the connection on the forum if you care to search. I've seen Alzheimer’s up close and personal...and am convinced that it is the worst death possible...a very slow death that robs you of your very existence...and as such, is very mentally painful for both the victim and the loved ones to see and have to live with over the long haul as it runs it's course...something I wouldn't wish on just about anybody...and would be my worst nightmare to live....and as such, wouldn't risk anything, including possible herpes, that could possibly contribute to spending the last 10-20 years of my "golden years" like that...and herpes is forever….so if the Alzheimer’s risk is valid…and it is looking like it probably is…then herpes can be fatal in the end.  Supposedly the virus “hides” in the nervous system and can eventually make it’s way to the brain via the nervous system….there apparently is research looking at this and several threads discussing it on the forum.

I won't discount this as being perhaps a valid concern, but the link here is tenuous it seems. I haven't read anything that compels me to believe that HSV-1 IS the cause of Alzheimer's. Additionally, the OP mentioned "genital herpes" which is HSV-2, not HSV-1.

I think everyone should carefully examine what risks they are willing to accept with respect to their health. I am just sharing what has come to be my conclusion about contracting herpes. Even though we've already established that HSV-1 is being looked at as a possible cause of Alzheimer's, for the sake of this hypothetical let us pretend it's HSV-2.

Right now, this basically means a person would be forfeiting a potentially long, rewarding, romantic and personally gratifying relationship with someone based on the possibility that HSV could cause Alzheimer's. Does said person smoke cigarettes? Drink too much alcohol or otherwise engage in any behavior that may potentially jeopardize his health?  

My point is, there are a ton of risks out there and that's why I said it all depends on the kind of person his friend is. If he's someone who wants to live his life cautiously, then he may want to try to avoid this risk at all costs for as long as he can. Knowing what I know about the astonishing statistics of people who are infected and the personal inconvenience it has caused me, I would not be willing to make any major life compromises to avoid it. If I could keep my herpes but never get sick again a day in my life I would consider that a favorable tradeoff. Right now there is no cure. Who says there won't be 5 or 10 years from now?

All that being said, I too informed my partner of my condition and it didn't slow her down...not even for a minute. We're still together and have created some wonderful memories and shared great experiences. Whether we stay together indefinitely or end our relationship a year from now, neither of us would have wanted it to go any differently.

#9 OFFLINE   semi-retarded-individual Re: Dating a partner with genital herpes

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Posted 26 March 2012 - 09:40 PM

I would also suggest to the OP that posting this question in a longevity forum is likely to yield a biased response. I would expect most people here concerned with lifespan to be conservative in their responses about a topic that adversely impacts health.

#10 OFFLINE   Lufega Re: Dating a partner with genital herpes

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 04:58 AM

Using Iodine will control the outbreaks.

http://www.longecity...post__p__493865

#11 OFFLINE   nupi Re: Dating a partner with genital herpes

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Posted 31 March 2012 - 04:00 PM

Both HSV-1 and HSV-2 can be oral or genital, it's just that HSV-1 is more commonly oral and HSV-2 genital but they can really break out on most forms of tissue.

#12 OFFLINE   albedo Re: Dating a partner with genital herpes

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Posted 12 May 2013 - 11:18 AM

Found re a possible vaccine against HSV-2

http://www.foxnews.c...suppress-hsv-2/




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