LONGECITY

Yea guys don't take any benzos long term, I had a f'n idiot ignorant dr. who prescribed xanax daily for years, I'm 10 months out and still really shot. I even did a slow taper, everybody reacts differently and for some, the changes that it made are VERY slow to reverse... Had 100 tests and no physical issues, but I am going to test for Cortisol & Adrenals b/c I know that the benzo can really mess them up.

I used to train in the gym for 10 years , I haven't gone in over a year now. Crazy sensitivity to caffeine now where before I would drink 4-5 cups of coffee a day. Can't drive b/c I have a vertigo/dizziness derealization / depersonalization and it causes panic to set in. Extreme fatigue,etc... It's insane. I've had totally normal days or hours in the last few months but they go away.
Edited by inw, 12 March 2013 - 12:25 AM.

Few facts:

One, your brain will never be the same again. Two, thanks to neuroplasticity, your brain will "recover" in some part. Or I should say, start to behave and rewire more like a brain not on the drugs you abused.

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I took xanax as prescribed and I never had a daily anxiety issue before I took them, I had one isolated panic attack and right away they gave me a benzo to take daily. Prior to be prescribed the benzo I never had this dizziness, dp/dr, extreme fatigue, hightened anxiety level, sensitivity to caffeine, agoraphobia, etc...

I've seen once everyone recovers they can drink alcohol and caffeine again with no issue. If this isn't the case, then I think there would be way more people trying to sue their dr. than there already are. I've seen days and hours where I was totally 100% normal but it's been few and far between, it shows that it can all go away.
Edited by inw, 12 March 2013 - 03:00 AM.

That's really nice. Thanks a lot. I really don't think I wanna take Effexor because let's face it - Effexor is not a cure but a lifestyle.

Well I really want to be able to smoke a joint a couple of times a year to have fun. At this point in my life at least. I'm also very interested in transpersonal psychology and holotropic breathwork so I hope that at some point in my life I'll be able to have an LSD experience as well. With that levels of anxiety that I have now, that's not possible, but back in the days I wouldn't care at all. Especially when a professor like Stanislav Grof talks about it in so much of his books etc. Plus you know scientists are discovering a lot of positive effects to LSD like 5-HT2 agonistic properties which I talked in another thread of mine, so one should definitely have the balls to experiment in a reasonable fashion.

It seems like you are still seeking altered states because you are afraid of dealing with reality. I can relate, as that has been a recurring theme in my life as well, and in some ways still is.

My advice to you (and really, it is also a continual reminder directed to myself) is to quit looking for externals and focus on the internal.

*All you will ever need, except for food and sleep, is already there in you.*

The stuff you would REALLY want to do is just waiting for you to let it out to play.

You don't really need more weed, more LSD, more of this or more of that. Let it go.

Your neurotic behaviour will gradually subside when you observe it with mindfulness. Just have patience and conviction in the process. And the parts that are still there, let them be there and don't let your mind trick you to get caught in negative feedback loops like

*I wonder if this carrot is full of pesticides - I should not worry so much and just eat it - why am I worrying so much - I should just relax - stop worrying! - I am no fucking good, I just can't stop worrying - Why can I not stop worrying? - What is wrong with me? - I've always been a loser - Why is everyone else so well adjusted? - etc.*

Note the loops, how they work, just note them briefly (thinking thinking), and let them occur when they occur. Stay in the observing position, rest in it, breathe slowly. Eventually you will find the separation between mindfulness on the one hand, and body and mind activitities on the other, and then you will understand you are not your thoughts, you are not the stories about you that you (or others) weave, but you are here and now. And in each little moment, you have the choice to change things, by trying something different than before. Nourish the mindfulness that stays separate from actions and thoughts as they occur, you will start to notice the habits you have and when you have noticed, you have the space to stop in the middle of them and just do something else.

Mindfulness will gradually reveal and gives you new freedom to break with your negative body and mind habits as you think fit.

You don't really need externals for this process, but if you want some motivation I'd recommend Jon Kabat-Zinn's Google Talk and the books 'The Brain that Changes itself' and 'The Power of Habit' as they gave me added energy.
Edited by Godof Smallthings, 12 March 2013 - 04:16 AM.

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Eventually you end up in a asylum with needles stuck in your whole body and electroshock therapies twice a day. "Erm sure, but no thanks..."

I think asylums were removed on purpose to destroy society . should mentally ill people be allowed to walk around in society freely 100% and access to things like cars?