Jump to content

  • Log in with Facebook Log in with Twitter Log In with Google      Sign In   
  • Create Account

Photo
- - - - -

ADHD-PI and ketamine induced depersonalization/brain damage

depersonalizationketamine add lethargy brainfog memory issues

  • Please log in to reply
5 replies to this topic

#1 Keynes

  • Location:Sweden

Posted 27 July 2013 - 11:30 PM


I've been lurking here for quite a while now, and decided to become a full member today to give some back, but also to inquire about my personal issues. This post became long-winded, but I sincerely appreciate all feedback!

I most likely have ADHD-PI (I've had symptoms my whole life, I'm also going on a referral to have this properly examined. Waiting lines here are immense though). I am aware that similar symptoms can occur from various deficiencies, and I'm not excluding this possibility. This has gone unnoticed though due to my general intelligence (twice exceptional my ass). I've only been "lazy". In any case I in my younger years socially isolated myself which later led to social phobia and most likely GAD (I was bullied in upper secondary, until finally I got my fight response going). I've managed to re-socialize myself, and these are minor issues now. I have never received medication or professional help with this or any other problems.

Last year I indulged in drugs, including cannabis, ketamine, LSD and amphetamine. Incredibly stupid, and which has caused more and worsened my already existing problems. After smoking a lot of cannabis and taking way too much ketamine I passed out, vomited and had a complete ego death. Ketamine is and feels like a dirty fu**ing drug (and I had pharma grade quality). When I woke up my perception of the world had changed, which frightened me terribly, and I ended up in a psychosis-like episode. I was depersonalized, did not recognize the face I saw in the mirror, and people appeared to me to be in 2D, my vision lagged like a movie in 20fps. Also had other HPPD-stuff going on. This has luckily subsided quite a bit. I am 21 years old, and this is the worst thing that I've been through, I would not wish this upon my worst enemy (if I had one). What's actually helped me the most with this is interestingly enough cold approach pick-up (yes, hitting on girls), which leads me to believe that it was partly anxiety related (I have become much more confident and have never had better self esteem). I am to this day slightly depersonalized though. My IQ has not changed. Cannabis worsens my symptoms dramatically, which I suppose could be due to:

1. since I smoked when I did the k, my mind now associates the two.
2. the k affected my brain chemistry. Cannabis affects some of the same receptors that have been damaged, which could give a clue to what's exactly been damaged. (NMDA, k-opiod-receptors?)

I am a complete beginner when it comes to neurochemistry, if (2) could be the case I'd love to hear how!

Symptoms:
Depersonalization
Lethargy
Apathy
Often feel an urge to lie down (this came after the drug abuse)
Low focus/concentration
Low motivation
Failure to complete tasks
Brain fog
Excessive sweating (this is quite recent)
Higher than normal pulse rate (had this my whole life)
Bad vocal prowess (this actually improves when smoking cannabis for some reason)
Mild hand tremor
Some physical anxiety (ie even more sweating than my "norm")
Anxiety (not that pronounced but still)
Bad long term memory (I have what I believe compared to others very few childhood memories)
General forgetfulness
Motor control issues
and the rest of the traits of ADHD-PI

Some of the ADHD-stuff got a lot worse after the ketamine.

Blood tests normal, TSH normal, I did an MRI for other reasons, they did not mention any lesions (why wouldn't they if I had them?). Vitamin B normal. I have not gotten the specific values which doesn't seem to be praxis here, but I will make sure to get them. So what it seems like is ADHD-PI, combined with brain damage from drug abuse (ketamine et al) and childhood anxiety + depressed episodes (I suppose I might have minor depression right now, although I do not feel very "depressed").

I am very optimistic about the future though, but I believe I first need to find a regimen that fits me and my chemical imbalances.

Right now:
Omega 3 fish oil, 12% DHA 18% EPA, 4-5 g/day
Sublingual B12 500mcg
Magnesium 120mg (Mg-lactate 1078mg Mg-citrate 125mg) -- BID
Zinc Chelate 30mg (aspartate pidolat)
Green tea/Yerba mate
Coffee
Jarrow Ashwagandha 225mg, BID

Honestly I don't notice a difference with any of this (even coffee doesn't do much), but then again I haven't been on it that long.

Long distance running
Weight lifting
Meditation (20 minutes daily)
Cold approach pick-up
Cold showers
NoFap

Gonna amp this up though. My sleep quality has improved greatly, but I am unsure what to attribute it to. I'll have to be more regular with my work outs.

Adding:
Jarrow ALCA-500 ALA-100
Jarrow TMG (supposedly good for DXM induced brain damage)
Jarrow D3 5000

Want to try:
Modafinil
Tianeptine
Selegiline
Ritalin
5-HTP
Sulbutiamine
Piracetam
Noopept
Naltrexone (some guys have had fantastic results with it for dp)
Ginkgo Biloba
Gotu Kola
Rhodiola Rosea
Microdose Psilocybin

(shit that's a long list)

Any comments are greatly appreciated!
  • 0

#2 Metagene Re: ADHD-PI and ketamine induced depersonalization/brain damage

  • Location:USA

Posted 28 July 2013 - 12:45 AM

Welcome Keynes. I can't speak for ketamine induced depersonalization but the rest sounds familiar. I'd add Metadoxine ( drop the microdose Psilocybin) to your want to try list.

http://feltl.com/Fel...n_FWP_Final.pdf

I've gone through everything on your list before being diagnosed with ADHD-PI minus Tianeptine, Ritalin and Naltrexone.
  • 1

sponsored ad

#3 Keynes Re: ADHD-PI and ketamine induced depersonalization/brain damage

  • Location:Sweden

Posted 28 July 2013 - 03:11 AM

Welcome Keynes. I can't speak for ketamine induced depersonalization but the rest sounds familiar. I'd add Metadoxine ( drop the microdose Psilocybin) to your want to try list.

http://feltl.com/Fel...n_FWP_Final.pdf

I've gone through everything on your list before being diagnosed with ADHD-PI minus Tianeptine, Ritalin and Naltrexone.


Cheers :)

Yeah, it's probably best to avoid the psilocybin. I haven't touched hallucinogenics since, and it should stay that way. I have on several occasions smoked though, which doesn't help whatsoever (I have a very hard time declining when offered). I've "quit" many times in my life (even before the k). But this only seems to apply to mj, nothing else has been a problem quitting (of the drugs). Metadoxine looks very promising! My ADD trial will most likely take a very long time to be completed. We have "free" medcare in Sweden, but we pay with our time (it's tbh quite expensive monetary-wise too, TANSTAAFL). So prescription meds will have to wait I suppose. Ordered Piracetam, and I'll try try this stuff out (and the aforementioned supplements) before I add anything else I reckon. I also have l-tyrosine (seemingly no noticeable effect thus far). I also do snus (Swedish smokeless tobacco), which does seem to help. I see it as a viable source of nicotine (not an MAOI like cigarettes), albeit bad for mouth hygiene. I probably should be a bit more restrictive with it though.

I however do get increased motivation from my regimen, I guess it's the combination that does it and not a single specific.

CBT is on the to-do list.


Fun fact:
I am despite all of this quite able to pick up girls (and I've learnt how after going through this shit, I'm better than I've ever been). I also still seem to be able to learn languages much quicker than other students which is surprising to say the least. (disclaimer: I am in no way an elitist, my ego-death made sure of that ;) )

Which of the supplements has been the most effective for you?

Edited by Keynes, 28 July 2013 - 03:30 AM.

  • 0

#4 Metagene Re: ADHD-PI and ketamine induced depersonalization/brain damage

  • Location:USA

Posted 11 August 2013 - 04:04 PM

Sorry I missed your edit.

Honestly not much. Modalert seem to alleviate my short term memory deficits to a degree and Selegiline helped with motivation. My doctor wants me visit a psychiatrist to workout a treatment plan but I'm holding off for now. I'm in my late 20's and it sucks that it took years of struggle to finally gain a bit of understanding. Like you the anxiety (GAD) issue I had is on the decline but my IQ is not where it should be. Third grade math ability plus writing and spelling difficulties. (It takes forever to type this) Strong verbal performance though, vocabulary and comprehension well within average range.

It's good that your confidence is still intact and you are able to learn foreign languages.


I muddled around with Russian for a while and discover I could memorize words without to much trouble but when it came to constructing sentences my brain would crash. :unsure: Same thing with other skill I've tried to develop over the years. Working memory on the fritz man. :sad:
  • 0

#5 Keynes Re: ADHD-PI and ketamine induced depersonalization/brain damage

  • Location:Sweden

Posted 11 August 2013 - 06:48 PM

Sorry I missed your edit.

Honestly not much. Modalert seem to alleviate my short term memory deficits to a degree and Selegiline helped with motivation. My doctor wants me visit a psychiatrist to workout a treatment plan but I'm holding off for now. I'm in my late 20's and it sucks that it took years of struggle to finally gain a bit of understanding. Like you the anxiety (GAD) issue I had is on the decline but my IQ is not where it should be. Third grade math ability plus writing and spelling difficulties. (It takes forever to type this) Strong verbal performance though, vocabulary and comprehension well within average range.

It's good that your confidence is still intact and you are able to learn foreign languages.


I muddled around with Russian for a while and discover I could memorize words without to much trouble but when it came to constructing sentences my brain would crash. :unsure: Same thing with other skill I've tried to develop over the years. Working memory on the fritz man. :sad:


Russian is seriously hard though, and I'm very sure anyone trying to learn it has a hard time. But it's rather awesome. (I do Spanish and German, but not as consistently as I'd like).

Quick update: I hadn't really noticed it until giving it thought (the effects have come subtlety under the radar basically), but so far it seems like my stack does some great things.

I have more energy, I'm happier, my sleep has improved, I feel healthy (like I couldn't get sick), lower anxiety (I'm most likely a lot less anxious than my peers right now), better confidence, my sexual drive is up, harder erections, more sperm. I can run faster and longer. I actually don't get hung over. Haven't had a single headache since starting.

Some are more profound, some less. But all in all this is great so far. Not really sure what supplement to attribute to what effect. I have probably been deficient in one or some of the vitamins and minerals. My sleep is still not optimal, so that's what's next.

Also I've still got the classic add symptoms, but I think they've improved slightly. Bit of dp still, but I don't ruminate over it. Also, I've had some really mild ocd stuff going on (basically I'm a classic menswear geek, and whenever they wore it in a film I obsessed about it). This is completely gone now.

Piracetam made me more confident, my reading faster and gave me a feeling of well being (2,4g). I don't take it daily though, but as required (for work etc).
  • 0

sponsored ad

#6 Keynes Re: ADHD-PI and ketamine induced depersonalization/brain damage

  • Location:Sweden

Posted 01 September 2013 - 12:08 PM

So I'm in med school now, which is nice, but I also feel like shit. I'm really sick atm, and I think it's because of some STD. Also both my mental and physical anxiety is through the roof for some reason. This started at the same time I got sick, so maybe it's related. I messed up my relationship with my fav fuck buddy too (or that's what I think I did at least, honestly I'm totally clueless right now). Extremely in my head. Can't work out due to illness and I'm addicted to exercising, mouth looks awful, tongue worse...

And at the same time I start ms in a new city without any place to stay. Gaah.
  • 0


[b] [/b]



Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: depersonalizationketamine, add, lethargy, brainfog, memory issues

0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

Advertisements help to support the work of this non-profit organisation. To go ad-free join as a Member.
[b][/b]