I've been lurking here for quite a while now, and decided to become a full member today to give some back, but also to inquire about my personal issues. This post became long-winded, but I sincerely appreciate all feedback!
I most likely have ADHD-PI (I've had symptoms my whole life, I'm also going on a referral to have this properly examined. Waiting lines here are immense though). I am aware that similar symptoms can occur from various deficiencies, and I'm not excluding this possibility. This has gone unnoticed though due to my general intelligence (twice exceptional my ass). I've only been "lazy". In any case I in my younger years socially isolated myself which later led to social phobia and most likely GAD (I was bullied in upper secondary, until finally I got my fight response going). I've managed to re-socialize myself, and these are minor issues now. I have never received medication or professional help with this or any other problems.
Last year I indulged in drugs, including cannabis, ketamine, LSD and amphetamine. Incredibly stupid, and which has caused more and worsened my already existing problems. After smoking a lot of cannabis and taking way too much ketamine I passed out, vomited and had a complete ego death. Ketamine is and feels like a dirty fu**ing drug (and I had pharma grade quality). When I woke up my perception of the world had changed, which frightened me terribly, and I ended up in a psychosis-like episode. I was depersonalized, did not recognize the face I saw in the mirror, and people appeared to me to be in 2D, my vision lagged like a movie in 20fps. Also had other HPPD-stuff going on. This has luckily subsided quite a bit. I am 21 years old, and this is the worst thing that I've been through, I would not wish this upon my worst enemy (if I had one). What's actually helped me the most with this is interestingly enough cold approach pick-up (yes, hitting on girls), which leads me to believe that it was partly anxiety related (I have become much more confident and have never had better self esteem). I am to this day slightly depersonalized though. My IQ has not changed. Cannabis worsens my symptoms dramatically, which I suppose could be due to:
1. since I smoked when I did the k, my mind now associates the two.
2. the k affected my brain chemistry. Cannabis affects some of the same receptors that have been damaged, which could give a clue to what's exactly been damaged. (NMDA, k-opiod-receptors?)
I am a complete beginner when it comes to neurochemistry, if (2) could be the case I'd love to hear how!
Often feel an urge to lie down (this came after the drug abuse)
Failure to complete tasks
Excessive sweating (this is quite recent)
Higher than normal pulse rate (had this my whole life)
Bad vocal prowess (this actually improves when smoking cannabis for some reason)
Mild hand tremor
Some physical anxiety (ie even more sweating than my "norm")
Anxiety (not that pronounced but still)
Bad long term memory (I have what I believe compared to others very few childhood memories)
Motor control issues
and the rest of the traits of ADHD-PI
Some of the ADHD-stuff got a lot worse after the ketamine.
Blood tests normal, TSH normal, I did an MRI for other reasons, they did not mention any lesions (why wouldn't they if I had them?). Vitamin B normal. I have not gotten the specific values which doesn't seem to be praxis here, but I will make sure to get them. So what it seems like is ADHD-PI, combined with brain damage from drug abuse (ketamine et al) and childhood anxiety + depressed episodes (I suppose I might have minor depression right now, although I do not feel very "depressed").
I am very optimistic about the future though, but I believe I first need to find a regimen that fits me and my chemical imbalances.
Omega 3 fish oil, 12% DHA 18% EPA, 4-5 g/day
Sublingual B12 500mcg
Magnesium 120mg (Mg-lactate 1078mg Mg-citrate 125mg) -- BID
Zinc Chelate 30mg (aspartate pidolat)
Green tea/Yerba mate
Jarrow Ashwagandha 225mg, BID
Honestly I don't notice a difference with any of this (even coffee doesn't do much), but then again I haven't been on it that long.
Long distance running
Meditation (20 minutes daily)
Cold approach pick-up
Gonna amp this up though. My sleep quality has improved greatly, but I am unsure what to attribute it to. I'll have to be more regular with my work outs.
Jarrow ALCA-500 ALA-100
Jarrow TMG (supposedly good for DXM induced brain damage)
Jarrow D3 5000
Want to try:
Naltrexone (some guys have had fantastic results with it for dp)
(shit that's a long list)
Any comments are greatly appreciated!