I need to start seriously looking at anti-depressants.I had a turning point recently that showed me that I need them.I am done with trying to micro manage things with vitamins and nootropics,it seems there's no effective safe and natural stack that can replace the positive effects of anti-depressants.
If there was a safe powerful serotonin precursor I would use it. I need to start living life and stop surviving by a single thread all the time,as I have been doing my whole life.
I have a mentality of always trying to get out of my comfort zone,but without effective medication it's hard to recover.
My view of anti-depressants is that I should be without them,and be mentally healthy using natural ,healthy measures.So I tried experimenting with nootropics in the hope that they could replace anti-depressants.But I have come to the conclusion that they usually only work well if you are mentally healthy.
I have depression and social anxiety,general anxiety too(last one kinda self diagnosed).
Current situation-Last 7 months to now.
I have been on imipramine for around 5-6 years.I felt its effects from the very first day,even tho my shrink said that was not possible.Extreme tiredness and uplifted mood.
I am currently on 75mg imipramine which is too low for me.I was on a bare minimum of 100mg and did not want to increase beacuse I already had side effects which were heart pounding when exercising and lowered ability to achieve orgasm,low libido and low blood pressure(that cant be good longterm).I was able to get an orgasm but usually it was painful.
I dropped my dosage of Imipramine because I had a really good reaction to DLPA.At first it was euphoria,but it shifted to irritability.I still dropped the imipramine to 75mg thinking tinkering with the dosage of DLPA would help.
I got some brain zaps which I endured for a while,which are gone now.
Shortly after I tried Piracetam in dosages of 800mg-3.2g per day I think,which changed things for the better.
It made me feel depressed when alone,but much more social in public.
It allowed me to push my endurance beyond my regular abilities.
However,brain fog started after almost 2 months.So I slowly stopped it,and I realised I had symptoms of adrenal fatigue.The symptoms are lowered mood,long time to recover from workouts,insomnia,especially after a workout.Jiagulan helps with mood,ashwagandda and more recently Relora helps with cortisol,I think.
From my bro science.I would think that I stressed my already stressed HPA axis with the Piracetam. I think that my anti-depressant was supporting the HPA axis and when I dropped my dosage of imipramine,I compromised the HPA axis.
I have previously had problems with insomnia in general but especially after a cardio and endurance taxing work-out.These are signs of high cortisol,I think?
This also makes me think that I have had adrenal fatigue symptoms for a long time,since I am not a fast recoverer from workouts.
But because the symptoms of Adrenal fatigue and depression are so similar,and affect the same parts of the body,its complicated and I wouldn't know for sure.
I scored moderate on the adrenal fatigue stress index.
In general my concentration is terrible and I take a while to learn things.
History
I have tried Zoloft around a decade ago ,which gave me hypomania.My psychiatrist thus diagnosed me with Bipolar 2.I think he might have been onto something.He then added lamictal to it.I think the hypo mania stopped but I stopped the treatment plan because at the time I was severely addicted to Pot and could not stop,I was self medicating.Plus the hypomania encourage me to not stop,so I stopped the medication as I didn't want to imagine the side effects of these chemicals combined.(hypochondria)
My psychiatrist is more like the refill prescription,make small talk and see you later guy.
So I have to be informed before I make any suggestions to my psychiatrist.
Success
My greatest drug side effect free success was when I started meditating.It helped me clear my mind of all that subliminal trash talk.
THe only problem is that It takes tremendous discipline to start and continue doing on a continual basis.If I was somehow forced to do this somehow it would hep abit.But I have never been able to start again. since under a decade ago.
Also,self help CTB helped abit ,if only I could be consistent.
The impramine helps but not as much at this dosage.Its barely holding me together at this dosage I guess.
Background
To give you an idea of my life,I have never had a girlfriend,and I'm 30.
I have never had any real friends or deep meaningful relationships with people.I have never been able to function on that level.
I have always been introverted ,and I still need alot of time by myself.
I am stressed very easily.I dwell on trivial things that other people barely acknowledge.I make mountains out of molehills.
I have a hard time making even small decisions.I overanalize things and its hard for me not to do so.
I have allot of work to do but it seems impossible without meds.
My stack is:
75mg imipramine
tyrosine 500mg morning
Tryptophan 1.5mg with p5p night
Relora- 1 now foods relora divided between 2 per day.Cortisol lowering A.F
Jiagulan-1 a day A.F
Aswagandha -between a half and a whole pill a day,helps with cortisol A.F-Himalaya
L-theanine 200mg
Taurine 1 gram
I cycle some of the above,excluding imipramine.
Vitamins
Pantothetic acid-500mg divided by 2 per day.
pantethine-300mg divided by 2
Chromium polinicolinate 100 RDA
3 grams sodium ascorbate(vitamin c for adrenal fatigue)
multi basics multi 1
half a b-complex
Vitamin D3-k2
glucosomine
Cissus(occasional)
2 fish oil pills
2 iodine pills(Thyroid)
60 gram whey isolate
zinc pico/mag citrate
Options
I have seen that many people have enjoyed the Side-effect free Tianeptine.I have also seen that Bupropion(Wellbutrin) has also helped many people.
My question is,which of these 2 are for me?
Tianeptine is considered a nootropic stimulant so it may not be good for my condition.This was my first preference tho,but I fear it may exacerbate my A.F.
So I am thinking maby I should consider Bupropion?Afobazole an option?
The option of going back to increasing the dosage of imipramine seems like a last resort since I haven't really delved into trying the newer anti-depressants,with lower side effects.
I layed it all out there so,shoot a reply if you can.Thanks for your help.
Edited by Atropy, 18 October 2013 - 02:38 PM.