I am conscious to suffer of a various kind of troubles, nevertheless a particular point is intriguing to me, concerning a form of obsession, which we could move close to that of a drug-addict. The difference is that here that seems inferred by no direct inductor.
To take you an example, this phenomenon almost always arrives in the evening or night, it is a feeling of total peace and power a short ecstasy where I feel myself capable of everything, my sense of rhythm becomes infinite, my motivation is in the summit, and I discover even the depth of the love. The problem is that in opposition to a drug-addict who is aware that he cannot live eternally in this state it is that I wonder if I could keep this sensation and it obsesses me unconsciously rather often.. When I sleep at night or few minutes when it happens at day it disappear lettin me in my regular shape quite fogged, anxious and depressed. I expect why I could not live like that ? If it happens for some minutes (an hour) why not for a year ?
Something really problematic is that I don't know if it's only psychological or physical I'm so affraid that it might be physical (I'm absolutely careless about disease) it's more the mystery of what could make me feel like this.. Understand my point ? Thank's to you.
