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Advice on how to not care what others think

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9 replies to this topic

#1 Alizee

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Posted 28 June 2014 - 03:14 PM


I want to do a lot of things for longevity, but a lot of them would be embarassing since I live with a bunch of people (I'm in the military). Yet, I notice the signs of aging on me more than ever before, and the main reason is because I gain 30 lbs since last year. In the military, we eat three times a day, and so I kind of just eat as everyone else does, and yet I have a slow metabolism. I don't feel fat, but I am reaching that threshold. I gain a lot of muscle as well.

 

I want to eat bare minimum, excercise in front of people, and just do whatever it takes to get me to the results I want. The problem is I have a huge fear of people thinking of me as a weirdo, but I also know if I don't work on my goals I won't reach that status I want.

 

Any advice?



#2 chemicalambrosia

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Posted 28 June 2014 - 06:11 PM

I was sort of under the impression that the military has something of a fitness culture. In my opinion, people in the military, even less than people in general, are unlikely to think you are weird for exercising or dieting. I would think they would respect you more and support your efforts. It is hard to stop caring what other people think, but I think in this case they will think well of what you are doing. Also, watching what you eat and exercising are done by a large percentage of the world. Its not really weird at all.

 

As far as worrying what people think in general, I don't know what to say. Therapy of some form might help. A lot of people have this problem though.



#3 ta5

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Posted 28 June 2014 - 06:44 PM

As far as not caring what people think in general, CBT can help. Understand that people will probably not reject you for those things. Would you reject someone if they did those things? Probably no one will really care since most people are more wrapped up in themselves anyway. CBT helps to work though those things so you can really see what the truth is, what is more likely or less likely, and which fears are irrational.



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#4 drbrainfreeze

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Posted 28 June 2014 - 07:50 PM

Why don't you just go ahead and do what you want to do. I mean I'm the kind of person who'll do what I want to look better and feel better. If there are haters then I can't do anything about it. I can't please everybody. :) As long as you are not hurting yourself then go and have fun.



#5 Trevor

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Posted 28 June 2014 - 09:16 PM

Why be concerned about a pack of insecure, immature, short-sighted chimps?  Are you willing to trade your physical and mental well-being in exchange for their approval?  Truth be told, they make it easy to identify the people to keep out of your life. 



#6 GoingPrimal

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Posted 06 July 2014 - 02:28 AM

While I've never been in the military, I would just assume that it would take a lot more than trying to get in shape for you to be considered weird or to be laughed at.

 

From having read a lot on bodybuilding forums I know plenty of guys in the military have supplements shipped to them, so it also wouldn't seem too odd for you to have a few key supplements shipped your way. Go for it, I'm sure they'll be supportive.



#7 nushu

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 02:50 AM

Imagine yourself a god, flying away from this little blue ball at the speed of light, notice how small sand meaningless the planet looks from a distance. A few more seconds and Earth is no longer there, lost in the vastness of space.
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#8 niner

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Posted 08 July 2014 - 01:38 AM

Alizee, what exactly do you want to do that would be embarrassing?  If you are just altering your diet so that you eat good things and skip the toxins, that's certainly nothing to be embarrassed over.  If you work out a little more than some of the guys do, that's no problem.  If you want to do something so weird that it's embarrassing, then maybe it's not really the best idea anyway.  Just do the basics.  That's all you really need to worry about at your age.  You'll have your hands full just eating a nontoxic diet and getting enough sleep.



#9 Forever21

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Posted 07 August 2014 - 07:52 PM

Social Anxiety perhaps? Talk to your doctor is SNRI and SSRIs are right for you.


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#10 Esoparagon

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Posted 21 August 2014 - 04:42 PM

It's a long road of shifting your psychology. When you realize that the only judge of yourself that is of any significance is yourself, you will not care one bit about other people. If they are adults, why will they care? If they do care, why do you care? Ask yourself why you care. You ascribe significance to their view of you. If you are a good guy, and you do a few things that they think are weird, if they abandon you, then that's their problem, not yours. Only weird people get anything done in the world. Only weird people push the boundaries. Luckily, at my university, people seem nothing but interested in my weird activities, but I would not care one bit if everyone in the world thought I was 'weird'. Anyway, more than likely, people will not care. Those who do are not worth your time, and most of those will get over it.


Edited by Esoparagon, 21 August 2014 - 04:46 PM.






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