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[Warhawk]

Hey, guys! I'm starting to get into the science of nootropics. It's very interesting and it's easy to delve into as I first got really interested into recreational drugs (Bluelight) --> psychiatric medicines (Crazymeds, others) --> now, I have arrived at nootropics as a natural progression of things as it is the leading edge of development. 

 

I currently take everyday:

 

Aplenzin (bupropion hydrobromide) 522mg.  

Nuvigil (armodafinil) 250mg. 

Nameda XR (memantine) 28mg.  

 

Latuda (lurasidone) 40mg. QHS CF 

Aptiom (eslicarbazepine acetate) 800mg. QD 

 

I am also prescribed and take in limited qtd.: 

 

Vyvanse (lisdexamphetamine) 70mg. **ABUSED**

Zenzedi (dexamphetamine) 15mg. X 2 **ABUSED**

Klonopin (clonazepam) 1mg. X 3 (PRN) **ABUSED**

Lyrica (pregabalin) 300mg. X 3 (TID) **ABUSED**

 

I recently "snuck off" to a 28-day rehabilitation center for almost the entire month of June for a very bad drug addiction problem. Research chemicals including cannabinoids and stimulants slightly as well as strong narcotics and other exotic things. Just wild. I didn't tell my PDOC about said visit to rehab as I didn't want to ruin basically the self-prescribed regimen I have going with him.

 

I received #270 300mg. pregabalin capsules shortly after leaving rehab, a three month supply, the largest allotment of Lyrica probably allowed in the State of Louisiana at one time. These were gone in approximately two weeks or so along with #315 800mg. gabapentin from another doctor, 3.5 tablets a day, another three month supply. Along with a script of #60 lorazepam 1mg. SL. During this time, I was partying with Vyvanse and dexamphetamine medication and augmenting fentanyl patches and sometimes roxi 30's to nod off at night. This was really fun when I found Xyrem. This was while "living in a half-way house". Obviously, I got kicked out and I'm now living in my parents' house again with no drugs, no iPhone 5s, no keys to my ride, nothing at all. It sucks. I have a PDOC appointment next Monday and my Mom wants to sit in which will be the end of my relationship with this doctor. 

 

I'm sober now, and I'm taking just the core medication, and I feel really good to be honest but I'm still anxious all the time, get mild panic attacks in the morning when my cortisol levels are high, and I get bad spells of depressive thoughts, I have no motivation or focus to better my life situation.

 

What are some nootropics that would be applicable to someone in my situation? A trust fund baby spluttering out of control, hoping to finish up his degree next fall so that requires focus, and wanting to find something besides drugs to make me happy and feel emotions?

 

Possible diagnoses: bp NOS, MDD, personality disorder NOS, Asperger's Syndrome-- but not one PDOC can peg me where I'm at. I just want something to my make my mind sharper, anxiolytic, and improve my motivation.

 

I was thinking about aniracetam + quality supplement containing choline to start. Any suggestions?

Thanks!

[Warhawk]

I'm tired of getting distracted from things like finding a different place to live and getting responsibilities like finding a non-bullshit job that I can do part-time while I do school and like even signing up for school. I'm about out completely of gabapentioids, thankfully, and I'm scared of possible withdrawal symptoms as well as post-acute symptomology. What would be best to counter that in terms of nootropics?

 

Something about my mood is... happy with what I'm doing. A bit of derealization as I experience everyone else create things I enjoy through my computer screen. I'm content just wasting money that I didn't earning being "about 2014". Money is not really an issue with anything that's going to improve my life; I can order things like nootropics, and I've recently ordered new clothes, $500 worth, that I'm going to wear where? Just tripping. I need to shave and be more about it. The coolest thing was yesterday where I went to a freaking 12-step alcoholics anonymous meeting and saw a bunch of people in that "scene" I used to be tight with when I tried the sober thing out. I used to chair meetings high just to be ironic. Ugh. 

 

I just like listening to catchy music like Flume, 20syl, Eptic, Drake, Santigold. See just a mix of traditional hipster beats. I was always the "music guy" at parties and now it seems a badass tune is the only thing that releases DA.

 

I'm on the last bit of gabapentin, about to have a panic attack tomorrow about that I bet, and just need to realize how lazy I am and do something about it, but I was wondering if you guys could kinda catch my drift here and point me to what nootropics might work best for me.

 

Thanks!