Good evening to all of you, I have to share this feeling that is obviously obsessing me... my story is very complex and long I will try to synthetise the more I can. I'm just actually wondering if the heavy frontal feeling I'm experiencing is really a master-piece of my depression/anxiety issue or it's just a symptom of an OCD (a kind of hypochondria). The thing is that I'm really obsessed by the unsolvable question of the "egg and chicken" I don't know if my gut irritability is making me mentally irritable or if it's my anxiety that is triggering the gut illness... And this with everything happening.
I have tried so many drugs no-one has really helped me sometimes I experience a very positive reaction, but it happens so randomly and for just few minutes before this kind of heavyness destroys everything on it's way, the problem is that I have a "classical" depression with the feeling of "oh man life is hard" that is REALLY easy to fight mentally,and the obsessionnal one this last is just too strong for me. Maybe it's the sinuses ? I know that I really felt this feeling after that I took modafinil this crap drug made me really passed out with strong constriction, sleeping paralysis, and maybe some seizure ? Awful experiencing that really marked me for life.
Now I contract my front systematically (not with consistence it can pass 6 month whitout experimenting that If I'm really busy in something) but the fact is that I'm REALLY a powerfull guy and I KNOW that my potential is destroyed by something. I can't admit that I'm a coward putting of physical aspect my psychological problems, because I have achieved everything that I would but I feel really like I have a handicap.
I can add some details if you want. Maybe it's a lack of serotonin ? I had some MDMA bad combos sometimes before
