So, long story short I struggled with sleep and depression for many years. At one point, I went on celexa, which helped with both for a while. However, somehow celexa also somehow fueled alcoholism and excessive use of adderall. At some point, my ability to get deep sleep simply disappeared. On top of that, I started getting symptoms of tardive dyskenesia, included twitching in my face, shoulders and muscles. Totally freaked me out and I quit Celexa. The symptoms have all disappeared regarding the twitches 3 years later, but my shoulder still twitches when I lay down.
On to the main point though. Ever since I quit Celexa I can't get deep and refreshing sleep. It's sort of reminds me of the problem people have with benzo withdrawal, with sleep problems that last years.
The thing is, once in a while I do get deep sleep. There are two kinds. One is basically when I take a nap after sleeping in the night and I'm jerked awake by some kind of myoclonic jerk/seizure flash feeling. Often, my arm or leg will swing out as well. in that split second, somehow the left side of my brain, which always feels like it's not quite working, suddenly comes "online." It's the best way of describing it. It's not like my cognition is operating at 100%, but I feel like I snap out of the brain fog that drives me nuts, and even feel like my internal organs start to burn in some kind of healing process.
It's very hard to explain, but I also have serious pain my kidneys and liver, and despite tests saying otherwise, I feel like they are damaged. I constantly have to pee and unfortunately have to get up to urinate once a night, something I never needed to do before Celexa.
The other time I get deep sleep is even stranger. Basically, I wake up after 9+ hours of sleep and the entire left side of my head feels like icy worms are spasming allover my brain. I've noticed others report this kind of feeling in other forums, but usually not in a positive way. For me, it actually feels good and I feel like my cognition is drastically improved afterwards, like the fog is lifting. This is usually followed by waves of pleasure in my head for the rest of the day that don't appear to have any specific trigger. It does feel like my brain is regenerating in those moments.
I've never heard of anyone else who experiences these kind of waves of pleasure either. All my searches for something similar come up with ASMR hits, which is something I also experience but which is a feeling unrelated to what I'm currently feeling. The closest thing I've come across to describing what I'm feeling is this post:
http://www.healthboa...bing-veins.html
I really have no idea what triggers these deep sleep spells. They are very rare, but somehow they seem to coincide with either extreme abstention from alcohol coupled with eating fish (and sometimes drinking raw milk), or either extreme bouts of alcohol drinking.
Somehow, I feel like I fucked with my GABA receptors, but I really have no clue. I was wondering if anyone has any input or has experienced something similar?
