So I've been kind of sucked into this forum as well as the Reddit subgroup on nootropics. I'm a long time sufferer of depression and ADHD. I was prescribed ritalin in high school in the 80s, and have or had been on meds for depression - mostly SSRI based stuff - for about ten years. I've also been a serious endurance athlete for thirty years. About two and a half years ago I was training for an Ironman triathlon and was maybe in the best shape of my life. I think it helped that I was also being treated for low T at the time. I had been suffering from a decline in libido for several years that I now partially attribute to the SSRIs, but I'm still not entirely sure (which is why forums such as these can be such a rabbit hole).
Leading up to my event I had an episode I can only describe as an existential crisis. That's what it felt like. I had this feeling that nothing mattered. I had very little interest in things that normally I was very interested in. That sense of total anhedonia caused severe anxiety that bordered on panic. It felt like I was dying. This has been doing on and off for a couple of years. I've generally felt better recently, but yesterday I had a pretty substantial episode of debilitating anxiety.
To this day I still don't know what brought it on and what the underlying problems are and, hence, what the solution is. I have some theories:
I decided to stop taking testosterone for a few weeks while I was training seriously...about two months before my event. I went through a phas where I felt really overtrained and just generally tired and sore. It could be my training load was maintained with healthy exogenous test levels, but the severe drop in T while training caused an acute stress hormone and inflammation response. I remember one day I tried to go ride my normal time trial loop at my normal pace and I couldn't muster anything. When I got home I could only just lay on my couch and not do anything ...and not feel anything.
I was also on SSRIs. I still think these have interfered with with my normal DA function. Looking at past blood tests, I do remember high prolactin levels.
Another component I've looked into is low estrogen. I've since gone off and been off T and SSRI antidepressants for a couple of years. My T is on the very low end of the normal range. ...but my estradiol is pretty low ....7 pg/ML. I still suffer from depressed libido, get hot at night and occasionally suffer from severe anxiety.
My anxiety episode yesterday came out of the blue. The only thing I can identify as a causal factor is that I was riding/training a little more than usual last week. Perhaps that depressed T and estradiol levels and caused a spike in stress hormones.
As I mentioned, I'm no longer on T, nor traditional anti-depressants. I am on Noopept with one dose in the am and Coluracetam in the afternoon. I also take a folate pill with B12 and DHA added. I notice that the Noopept sometimes coincides with an anxiety episode. I should also note that I went on an NSI-189 regime from THT for about a month and a half. I noticed that my libido came back in force, although since I've stopped, it has gone down a bit.
Traditionally I've had low energy depression. The anxiety is something new.
Edited by mindpatch, 03 December 2014 - 08:44 PM.
