I guess it was placebo, but I was so on that I felt that it simply couldn't have been. It also wasn't my first time taking it.. I did it about 4 times before this one time where it really seemed to work. I don't know what other factors made it work so well, but it could just be placebo.
I'm going to digest all this information... thank you for reaching out!
Anytime 
Of course there might be alot of other factors involved. However I didn't feel a thing of 50mg and 100mg in the beginning either. On the other hand, building such a strong tolerance after just a few uses should be impossible. How much did you take each time anyway?
I feel that placebo is a complete misunderstood concept in general. When people refer to "just placebo" they act like there was no effect. But placebo is just the opposite: You're having the full effect independent of the treatment. Just think of things like placebo control in for example morphine trials: you could do surgery on those that got an placebo and feel the full effect (and that rate is quite high from what i remember). You can also do surgery in hypnotic states which also reproduce the same physical response that <your body will produce> as a reaction to the medication. I like to ask a fatigued client that doesn't believe me that he could access energy right here right now, something along the lines of how his body would react if there was a tiger entering the room in this moment. "I would fucking run." "Would you feel fatigued?" "Hell no!" And then we would go into exploring this implicit state hypnotically until he has free access to it. This a good example of basic assumptions of systemic therapy: Experience is created continuously in a process, not given by any physical determination. You're body is capable of producing energy, see your experience with placebo or the use of any stimulant. The question is how to make it do so when you need it. If you can get a placebo work for you, thats actually much better than the actual medication, since your saving on both side effects and money 
Yes but you don't understand, some days no matter how much I try to will myself to have energy, I just can't. My brain feels very fuzzy and I feel disconnected. In grade 12 I started taking on more positive mindsets and sort of "willed" myself to have more energy... and it did work, but it wasn't real energy. Real energy should be produced from living a pleasurable life; it shouldn't be contrived. I don't believe that humans, in optimal health, live on will power. They don't "will themselves" out of bed every morning - they naturally spring out of bed. What the problem is, is when the environment stops seeming to provide pleasure - then the depression sets in. When you can't access or experience the pleasure, there's a problem. I don't want to "will" myself to high energy levels - it's not sustainable and it will lead to a crash, in my experience. I think the problem is deeper. It really does feel like I need a stimulant though... but I'm not even sure I want to go down that route. I just need energy and mental clarity.... every time I'm around people I feel so uncontrollably fatigued.
Oh, and I take 100 mg of the moda
I fully agree with what you write especially since I've been there. Being energyless and depressed is some of the most horrible feelings one can experience - can make your own body a prison.
Don't get me wrong here: A therapeutic process has to include the release of the underlying trauma/patters to be in any way successful. It can then elicit the strategies to free roam with your experience. Going with willpower over symptoms is basicly the hardest road you could take (thats Darwinist bullshit imo). A desirable result is a free functioning of whatever mechanism is inhibited by the symptom. What I would be looking as a goal in therapy is the exact same energetic feeling that your body produced at said day- but at will, whenever you need it. The further you could get there, the better. That might include willpower, but as another resource, far from being the main mechanism. You're obviously having the willpower to change things, unless we wouldn't be talking.
What I wanted to point out to you is first another understanding of Placebo and second the fact that medications, especially stimulants, are in the best case symptom relievers. Which is their purpose and which makes them a great tool, especially since most are fast-acting. However if another treatment is possible, I would advise anybody to use the boost to start with that instead of going into a novel medicine addiction.
The five most powerful layers that influence experience from my point of view are
1) Psychodynamic (trauma, experiences of (miss-)bonding), improved by psychotherapy
2) Systemic (group, context, relational systems that we are a part of and those we have internalized), improved by systemic psychotherapy
3) Energetic (brainactivity, measurable by EEG), improved by Neurofeedback like trainings and/or Meditation
4) Nutrition and Exercise (the building blocks for a healthy body), see earlier
5) Luck (lot's of shit is just random like genes, childhood experiences, heritage, country, etc.)
while there is also a backward influence, my experience teaches me that phenomena like positive thinking or willpower are rather a result of those then the beginning. however we like to think this way, because it's good for our ego's if we achieved everything just due to our great personalities and it makes it easy not to care for others because it's their fault if they don't have the same willpower, right? makes life easy more easy and the world more ugly.
Edited by VastEmptiness, 25 February 2015 - 02:34 AM.
