Hi everyone,
Sorry in advance, this will be a long post. After contracting Lyme Disease five years ago, I have had mental issues that I am hoping will go away with further treatment. Yet, since I am at school, I have opted out of treating this illness as I have bad reactions to the potent medications that I am supposed to take. In the interim, I have decided to experiment with various supplements to see if I can overcome some of my treatment resistant symptoms, so I hope this thread will be helpful for anyone who wants to treat anxiety/mood symptoms naturally, the way I hope to eventually.
First, I should elaborate on what I am trying to treat. My case is complicated, and even the premier diagnostician at McLean hospital, Massachusetts, does not know what I have, if anything, and I've been seeing this guy for almost 2 years now. Before I contracted Lyme, I had no mental symptoms to speak of besides social anxiety (moderate) and a hard-driving personality (if that could even be considered a symptom). Since contracting Lyme I, unfortunately, have had three psychotic episodes. I do not have bipolar (Mayo Clinic ruled it out) and I do not have schizophrenia. The closest thing anyone can tell me is that I had a psychotic reaction to the Lyme. I do not know if this is true, but currently I am on an antipsychotic to prevent relapse when I treat the Lyme more intensely, and I plan to stay on it while I experiment with supplements as a safety net shall anything go south.
It is hard to put my symptoms into words. It is not typical OCD-- I do not really have any overt compulsions, besides making excessive lists and constant internet searching. Although these things take up time and I would be more productive without them, they do not cause me distress. I mostly just get intrusive thoughts, and do mental checking in my head. It's no wonder I perplexed doctor's for years, as all my anxiety it completely internal. It's hard for people to believe I even have anxiety, as I am always outwardly laid back. Anyway, my obsessions go from topic to topic depending on what I am interested or most preoccupied with at the time. It has gone from diet to exercise to astrology to sexuality to...well almost everything! Even if I do not believe something is true, it will not stop me from obsessing over it, and I feel like a loser when I do. Every time I think of something and there is uncertainty surrounding it, I do mental checking to reassure myself. Reassurance; I never used to need any. Now I require it constantly for even the most mundane things.
I do not have mood symptoms per say, and if anything, it would be a very atypical depression. When I go off my SSRI (and I am on a very low dose), I get feeling of being overwhelmed, and I basically shut down. I won't leave my dorm or finish my homework. It is very distressing. However, I never feel sad when this happens, just overwhelmed.
Luckily, my SSRI, as long as I am on a little bit, tackles my social anxiety and prevents the above from happening. Yet, I have gone up to insane doses (200 mg of Zoloft), and my atypical OCD won't vanish. It is very distressing and so time-consuming that I get depressed about it. Apparently, Lyme can cause things like this, much like PANDAS, which is now being updated to be inclusive of diseases like Lyme. However, I fear the Lyme will be completely treated and I will have residual symptoms. Either way, I would really like to some off my SSRI at some point, and treat this treatment resistant OCD-like monster ASAP. Even though the docs think Lyme made me lose my mind, I know the anxiety gets really bad just before I lose it. The way I see it, I do not have bipolar with psychotic features; I have OCD with psychotic features.
I have done a lot of research: COMT, neurotransmitters, diet, etc., and have came up with these supplements. If anyone has any other suggestions, please let me know, and please critique what I have. I am planning to try all these separately so as to rule out any variables. It would be great if someone could tell me which ones are not worth taking, as I will save some money from buying it :D I am aware of ScieneGuy's thread on anxiety, yet I have included some things he says not to take, just because I am planning on taking them, if at all, for the short term, and am not wedded to them.