13 replies to this topic

[VICREP]

Well a lot has come to fruition in the last few months for me. I finished my 4 year Bachelor of the Arts/Bachelor of Education degree at the end of last year, but I haven't worked for the past 3 months. I made a conscious decision to take some time off so I can get my life back in order.

 

Background

I'll keep this short. I have battled with poor self esteem, and high rejection sensitivity for most of my life. From the online psych-central DSM diagnositic tests I have probably had MDD (atypical and melancholic), dysthymia, ADHD-PI, Social Anxiety, GAD and Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

 

I was against the use of drugs for Mental Illness until I realized just how beneficial they can be, if used responsibly, and accompanied by psychological techniques and environment changes.

 

I have recently had success with Tianeptine, which essentially sparked my interest in restoring/rewiring my brain, as opposed to just managing symptoms. I was Rx'd Escitalopram (SAD, GAD, MDD), Valdoxan (Sexual Functioning, MDD), and Dexamphetamine (ADHD) by my psychiatrist. However I encountered typical problems on these meds such as emotional blunting, sexual dysfunction, irritability, loss of personality/humour, etc, etc.

 

So after giving the standard clinical meds a try, I now felt as if I was entitled to back myself in and explore newer, more innovative, and taboo meds.

 

Currently I'm taking.....

 

NSI-189 (40mg 2x day) has been a godsend. My cognition was severely, and I mean SEVERELY damaged from years of chronic stress and intermittent amphetamine/MDMA use. NSI-189 has given me this back, along with a deep, optimistic, belief I find hard to articulate.

 

Moclobemide (150mg 2x day) for social anxiety and mood, which has been an ongoing problem for me. I went from being relatively loud, confident and opinionated, to timid, anxious and neurotic in social settings. This was a result of depression gradually eroding away my own self esteem. 

 

Deprenyl (2.5mg daily) should help with my anhedonia and low libido, also hopefully my ADHD symptoms, since I want to move away from the use of amphetamines. At least for a while.

 

Memantine (5mg, titrating up to 20mg) I have given memantine a decent run in the past when I was looking to manage amp tolerance, however I couldn't overcome the severe brain fog that accompanied it, even at 5mg. With NSI-189 though, I find it works on a whole different level. Calming and a lot less disabling.

I'm taking memantine for 3 reasons; firstly it's ability along with other NMDA antagonists to reverse anhedonia, secondly I find it helps a lot with blocking intrusive obsessive thoughts, and lastly if I want to add amps again in the future, it would be nice to be adapted to memantine whilst NSI-189 smooths its effect out.

 

Purpose of this thread

 

I just want some general feedback on my stack in terms of what may be beneficial to add/subtract. These forums are probably 80% of the reason I would say I'm depression free for the first time in years. With ongoing support I may be able to eradicate a lot of my other issues as well.

 

Also I will keep this thread as a log. No doubt things will change with my stack. I'm probably going to add tianeptine back in at some point, as the thought of running it along with NSI-189, and memantine is too exciting to pass up. 

[health_nutty]

25mg DHEA combined with a high quality St John's Wort extract has been a godsend for my depression and anxiety issues.  SJW by itself improved things some, but DHEA just destroyed my depression and feelings of dread.  

[VICREP]

Would a NMDA antagonist like memantine interfere with the beneficial effects of NSI?

[stan08]

25mg DHEA combined with a high quality St John's Wort extract has been a godsend for my depression and anxiety issues.  SJW by itself improved things some, but DHEA just destroyed my depression and feelings of dread.  

Do you take DHEA every day or do you take occasional days off?  I ordered 10 mg capsules of micronized DHEA and was thinking about taking it twice each day (breakfast and dinner) to help with depression but wasn't sure about whether I should also maybe take the weekends off or something.   

[health_nutty]

 

25mg DHEA combined with a high quality St John's Wort extract has been a godsend for my depression and anxiety issues.  SJW by itself improved things some, but DHEA just destroyed my depression and feelings of dread.  

Do you take DHEA every day or do you take occasional days off?  I ordered 10 mg capsules of micronized DHEA and was thinking about taking it twice each day (breakfast and dinner) to help with depression but wasn't sure about whether I should also maybe take the weekends off or something.   

 

I take it every day.  

[Blackkzeus]

How does Memantine reverse anhedonia?

[VICREP]

How does Memantine reverse anhedonia?

 

Memantine treatment reverses anhedonia, normalizes corticosterone levels and increases BDNF levels in the prefrontal cortex induced by chronic mild stress in rats. (PMID: 22327556)

[nowayout]

DHEA could theoretically either help depression or make it worse, depending on dose and gender.  In women DHEA often raises testosterone and can improve mood, but in many men, DHEA is converted preferentially into estrogen, which can be good if your estrogen is low, but if not can cause mood problems and other problems such as drops in testosterone.  There is a thread or two on DHEA in these forums. 

 

Young men usually have plenty DHEA, so any need for supplementation should be determined by a blood test. 

Edited by nowayout, 29 March 2015 - 03:28 PM.

[stan08]

DHEA could theoretically either help depression or make it worse, depending on dose and gender. In women DHEA often raises testosterone and can improve mood, but in many men, DHEA is converted preferentially into estrogen, which can be good if your estrogen is low, but if not can cause mood problems and other problems such as drops in testosterone. There is a thread or two on DHEA in these forums.

Young men usually have plenty DHEA, so any need for supplementation should be determined by a blood test.

I already had to drop dhea after just two days. Both times a couple hours after I tried 10 mg, I experienced extreme aggression and anger (which is totally unlike me). That feeling lasted pretty much the entire day and I even had trouble sleeping (was only able to sleep 2 or 3 hours each night). I'm really disappointed it didn't work and was not expecting such a negative reaction.

[VICREP]

Update

 

Dropped the moclobemide and deprenyl. Back on 2.5mg Escitalopram for now. I found moclobemide to be inconsistent and to up and down throughout the day.

 

I ordered some Tianeptine the other day but I'll stick with escitalopram until that arrives. I'm tossing up whether or not I should take both Tianeptine and escitalopram together. It appears Tianeptine is hardly a SSRE in therapautic doses, and has successfully worked alongside an SSRI, for those who only partially responded to SSRI treatment (source: http://www.ncbi.nlm....ubmed/23683152)

 

It's funny how I respond to SSRI's. The start up adaptation phase seems to be the most beneficial for me, as it gives me a lot of positive emotions back that I haven't experienced for a while. Then after a few weeks, I become the an anhedonic, apathetic zombie as so many people experience on SSRI's. I have read before that this may the standard response for those with atypical depression, as opposed to the melancholic type.

 

I had a solid experience with Tianeptine in the past, but didn't stick to consistent doses or dosing frequency, which messed up the trial a bit. Found myself chasing that euphoria from it's opioid and dopaminergic qualities. I think it's something that needs to be steadily taken to get the chronic benefits from. I remember reading an article which showed chronic used increased the "functional responsiveness" of D2/D3 receptors. I'm not entirely sure what functional responsiveness refers to, but the study showed chronic fluoxetine produced the same outcome on D2/D3 receptors, and it's been demonstrated that fluoxetine up-regulates d2 receptors in mesolimbic structures. Therefore, I logically assume Tianeptine to have a postive impact on the dopaminergic system with chronic use.

 

Anyone have any input on Tianeptines adaptive changes?

[VICREP]

Update:

 

I have had to change a lot of stuff around. I'll be dropping the MAOI's and memantine.

 

Moclobemide and Deprenyl were somewhat working for my Social Anxiety, but its just not consistent enough. I was fighting fatigue and lethargy constantly. I find it hard enough to stabilize my mood without this med induced bi-polar state.

 

Memantine was too anti-cognitive for me. My mind was a blank dissociated mess on it. It noticeably dampened my outlook on life also. Like I struggled to be optimistic about my situation when on it.

 

NSI-189 is a gem. I'll stay on 40mg x 2 for a week or so until my supply runs out. I have another 2 grams on it's way, which I will run at 40mg a day when it arrives.

 

I'm unemployed atm and will probably start working again shortly. I am diagnosed with ADHD, which I am not sure I fully agree with, however the more I read and analyse my own circumstances, the more the diagnoses makes a lot of sense. Basically, I would call myself above average intelligence, however I am so unorganised and uncommitted that I struggle to give even 50% of my potential in work and school settings. This has been a consistent problem most my life, so I'm going to bite the bullet and return to taking Dextromaphetamine on weekdays(Mon-Fri), at least while I find some structure in my life.

 

I now have Tianeptine in my possession both the Ceretropic slow release version, and instant release version. I think I will use it in two ways: firstly, on weekends a replacement for dextroamphetamine, and secondly, acutely as a anxiolytic in social settings.

 

This is roughly what my week would look like:

 

Mon-Frid: NSI-189 + D-AMP (4-5x5mg)

 

Sat & Sun: NSI-189 + Tianeptine

 

 

 

[Blackkzeus]

How long did you take Memantine for? Are you aware the initial effects of memantine are rather unpleasant mimicking brain fog from acetycholine nicotonic antagonism ? They say the unpleasant effects last only about 2-3 days and after the benefits come into effect. 

[VICREP]

How long did you take Memantine for? Are you aware the initial effects of memantine are rather unpleasant mimicking brain fog from acetycholine nicotonic antagonism ? They say the unpleasant effects last only about 2-3 days and after the benefits come into effect. 

 

About 3 weeks.

 

They settle right down but I still felt as if my creativity and working memory were blunted.

 

Memantine may be something I'll revisit but considering it somewhat blocks the effects of NSI (subjectively speaking) I'll leave it for now

[Shai Hulud]

It's possible NSI now shows it's effect for me, again. Could also be sth. else, sometimes I just feel better for some time. If so, it won't last very long.

 

I now have mirtazapine at home and plan on starting it on sunday evening. I think I will stop the NSI know. After mirtazapine gives me it's antidepressant effect (if it does) I will add NSI once again (so I can differentiate effects).

 

Anyone got experience in combining the both?

 

Note I'm also on:

1 mg rotigotin

2x50 mg pregabalin

3x12,5 mg tianeptine

3x100 mg levodopa

 

Guess I will move the second dose pregabalin from the evening to the afternoon, so it won't synergize so much with mirtazapine.