3 replies to this topic

[BadApples]

Hello!

 

I'm BadApples, 39 years old and the owner of two conditions:

 

Being ADHD patient.

Being to smart.

 

This combination gave me a couple of burn-outs, depression, ... no matter what sort of medication tried, none of it lasted in the long run.  As soon as I'm no longer procrastinating (for anything I have to do for myself) I transform into a rocket fueled workhorse, and as I'm liking the work I'm doing that much and start skipping on eating, sleeping, ...

 

For ADHD:

 

Adderal/Ritalin (makes me sleepy even XR wears off after 3 hours - even on 90 XR daily ... sleepy)

Dextroamphetamine (great for about a month, then it starts loosing effect and all sort of medical issues pop up, infections, coughing, ...)

 

Anti Depressants:

Paroxetine/Sertraline/Sipralexa/Lexapro/Fluoxetine/ ...  Makes me a vegetable, weight increase, cognitive impairement.

Wellbutrin (and analogs):  Make me anxious, jittery, rude, anti social, mean, ....

Effexor:  Works fine as long as I keep taking them, stopping them is a nightmare in rebound effects that lasts for months, but causes more procrastination.  (although I gave me the serotonin syndrome once - taken alongside with dextroampetamine)

 

Neuroleptics (= pure poison)

 

Seroquel, Zyprexa, Ablyfy:  Give me the intellect of a 12 year old, all give me Menière's disease (that goes away when I stop taking these)

 

Supplements that helped (others not even worth mentioning)

 

Sodium Bicarbonate (reflux)

Magnesium. (relaxes, overall positive effect)

Loads of Red Bull. (As kid, I could drink several cups of black coffee with 10 lumps of sugar and then sleep)

 

And to finish, I have got as good as any benzo over time from moderate things as clonazepam up to rivotril and nitrazepam in the early days.

 

After about 15 years, I literally sort of had it with most medical experts and therapists, as the problem at the end of each day, was me being assertive (and meanwhile expert by experience -  I have spent decades on researching, visiting conferences, some congress, ...)

 

I have quit all benzodiazepines 5 years ago, cold turkey, not that much of an issue.

 

I don't have a tendency for any form of substance abuse, I can quit as good as anything cold turkey, sole exception being nicotine, which is a miracle drug to reduce my procrastination.

 

Various health checks as doctors worry all the time about my blood pressure, heart rate, respiratory system I do have frequent test which are fine.   I have an above average physical condition and good metabolism.

 

No thyroid issues, no pollution, allergies, ....

 

Situation now:

 

For the moment, I'm once again on Effexor XL 150mg together with 3 sometimes even 4 doses of dexedrine (20mg),  Trazolan (100) about half an hour before bedtime, but a feel that I'm once again slowly overdoing it as I'm once again avoiding sleep and eating regularly.   Because all stuff I'm doing is that interesting that I don't want to waste time on anything else.

 

Over the years. I have started investigating myself to find that fix, that would basically keep my cognitive capacity at the same level but would allow me to control that enormous hunger for knowledge along with the insane energy.  

 

I can sleep fine now, replaced Trazolan by smoking or vaporizing dried cannabis (Indica dominant - Not psychedelic)

The side effects of Effexor are ok for me, they are in no way disabling or disturbing.

 

But I really want to say goodbye to dextroamphetamine, because I will have to adjust the dosage soon, and 80 mg of that stuff per day is the limit that I have set for myself.  

 

Cannabis is very expensive in comparison to Trazolan (x10 price)

 

And the country where I live (Belgium) does not have a lot of possibilities for medicinal use and the last thing I want is psyched high THC commercial grade something.

 

So I'm considering to replace that 4 x 20mg dextro amphetamine with Provigil (= modafinil) but wanted to ask for an opinion on my story here, as sometimes it sort of appears that I'm some medical exception in every possible way.

 

The sort of error that provides proof of a theory.

 

And I hope to contribute myself over here, I have a lot of brain to share :-)

[BadApples]

As no one cares to reply, I'll add myself:

 

Dextroamphetamine: now at 30 mg and tapering off over 2 weeks to 0.

Started modafinil: very satisfied, no more RLS (restless legs) and focus without hyperfocus.

 

I'm fine with alternative treatments, but (for me) they never worked, not if you want to participate or have to work with very complex, stressing and hectic stuff all the time.

 

Comments welcome.

[Junk Master]

Modafinil really works best used AS NEEDED, not every day.

 

Glad it works for you, though.

 

Also, if I were you I would exercise at LEAST 45 min three times a week and meditate twice a day.  I know, no fun, but it works.

[BadApples]

On 200 (morning), have to see how it will be in the long run.

 

AHDH, High IQ and Hypersensitive believe me: people envy me, but it sucks.

 

To some extent I blame psy docs for that, for using me as guinee pig and profit curve.

 

Thanks for the advice, I'm already doing 3 x 2 hours of thai boxing.   Meditation tried but as soon as I close my eyes, I'm seeing stuff that needs to be calculated, analysed, done, processed, ....

 

Thanks again

 

BA