20 replies to this topic

[wubwub]

Hey folks,

I'm new here.  I am going to share a recap of my recent experience.  I would be so grateful for any and all perspective anyone might care to offer.  It is my health, and I'd do anything to get it back on track, so thanks in advance.

3 Years ago I was living in a moldy space.  I started waking up feeling hungover every morning.  My experience of life has been increasingly terrible ever since.  I have been plagued with low energy, hypersensitivity to any sort of musty or moldy smell (and sometimes various other smells too), and profound depression that sometimes switches over to overwhelming anxious panic.  My cognitive function has been severely impacted, and in the past year I have been struggling with phases of disabling confusion, as well as episodes of panic and despair that verge on psychotic.  One very prominent experience has alternating suicidal ideation, and an experience of feeling sure my death is here, and being terrified of it.  For 3 years it has felt like my death is right around the corner, and i have definitely been pushed up to the edge of playing a role in that happening.

Lots has happened in these 3 years.  As it sometimes goes with chronic health problems (esp. those with a mental health component), nearly everything I had going for me has gone to shit.  I've lost important relationships and opportunities.  I've moved from one place to the next, and one doctor to the next, but nothing has really worked out.  

I finally caved and decided to drop the last bit of my old life that I was clinging to.  I broke up with someone I love, quit the school I was attempting to attend (rarely had a class that I didn't leave the room in tears halfway through.. upset that my mind wasnt working.)  I packed up all of my posessions in my van and drove to the southwest.

That was my last idea.  I guess it could just as well been one of my first.  It has been on my mind all along, but I didn't want to leave the people and places and start over again.  I wanted so bad to find healing on the east coast, but it never came.  All the hope I had was in this one idea.

I was working with a naturopath who had me do a 23andMe test, which I had interpreted at MTHFRSupport.com.  I started on the supplements she recommended but was overcome with vertigo, so I stopped them and decided I was on my own again.  

I got a test from pyroluriatesting.com and found that I was positive for Pyroluria, with high histamine.  My copper and zinc levels came out in the normal range.  

By whatever foggy logic I decided to start taking methyl-b12, methyl-folate, SamE, and p5P all at once.   After a handful of days on this protocol, I started feeling my heart pound harder in my chest.  My body began to feel like it was humming, or vibrating, especially in my chest, and especially in response to stress.  I started feeling anxious. My eyes became super sensitive to the sun, and I began feeling very energetically/emotionally permeable.

I stopped all those supplements 3 weeks ago, and I am still dealing with these issues.  The anxiety, pounding heart, and vibrating sensation subsided somewhat, but then I received some bad news and suddenly everything went out of control.  I had zero control of my emotions and had a huge scary episode of all of my deepest insecurities coming to the surface, crying and shaking and hyperventilating to the point where my whole body was in pins-and-needles, with worse suicidal ideation than I had ever experienced, all while hiding in the back of my van, in a town where I knew nobody.  I checked myself into the ER, which only served to give me a place other than my van to freak out.  I left after spending a day there with a few ativan.

Right now I am not feeling acute despair, yet I feel my heart pounding, my chest is humming, and my ears are ringing much louder than usual.  Without cannabis my emotions fly out of control.  I feel that my intellect is at less than half of what it should be.  

Some things I read suggested that Niacin could help, so I've been playing with that.  It definitely gives me a short window of feeling much more normal, but I'd need to take it 6 times a day to keep up.  I really want to know what's going on (glutamate buildup?  neurotransmitter bottleneck?) so I can try to address it at the source.  

Should I try non-flushing niacin so I can dose it higher?  

I really hope I didn't fuck myself up for the long term.  

Thanks again,

Scott

[Londonscouser]

I hope you get back to normal someday. There are some very intelligent folk on this forum, and i'm sure you will be the subject of some promising replies !

[wubwub]

Thanks Londonscouser.  I have to get back to some sort of normal.  I can't settle on not having my intelligence, happiness, memory, and motivation gone for the rest of my life.

CURRENT SYMPTOMS:

- blurry vision (lifelong snow vision and near-sightedness, but now I'm having trouble focusing and the snow-vision is much worse)
- physical anxiety, vibration-like sensation, esp. in torso
- heart pounding constantly

- inability to focus.  thinking is very foggy.  I can't read a book.

- nearly constant feelings of despair.  lots of thought about my mortality and how I'd truly rather die than do another year of this. 

- huge flare-up of emotional stuff, insecurities, codependency, etc.
- stomach aches
- serious intolerance to the cold
- eyes extremely sensitive to light
- sense of smell is very sensitive.  Smelling spray-cleaner gave me a tightness/fullness in my head and brain fog like I experience with mold.


 

Edited by grublife, 13 January 2016 - 06:34 PM.

[Raman]

What have you tried so far?

[wubwub]

Please forgive how scattered this will be.  It is hard to pull these experiences together.  My mind is very scattered.  Thank you very much for your time.

Most of those 3 years were spent in towns with lots of mold.  In that time I tried so many things.

I am now in a dry place.  I did not have any chance to see how moving here would affect me, because I started the methylation supplements at the same time. 

 

In this past month, I haven't tried much.  After stopping the supplements for a while and feeling some relief, I was thinking that I shouldn't have taken the methyl-folate.  My eyes were and are very sensitive to light, which is a pyroluria symptom, so I tried reintroducing P5P.  The intense anxiety and pounding heart came back very quickly and strongly from one dose.

I took a tiny additional amount of methyl-b12 and I believe I had a similar reaction, though it was less clear in that case.

 

Strangely, in the past I have experienced rapid reduction in symptoms by sniffing water with a little salt and a little black walnut tincture up into my sinuses (like a neti pot, but i just sniff it really hard.)   A few months back, I had been an absolute zombie for weeks, and I tried this and from the first dose I was rapidly on my way back to nearly 100%, and ended up feeling great for about a week before it stopped working.  I forgot about it until today.  I tried again, and it really did seem to help a lot.  I don't know what the mechanism could be.  I get this really distinct feeling when I do it, that brings me back to memories of swimming in a pool as a kid.  It almost seems like the minor drowning-like sensation I get from so much water going into my sinuses gives me a little dopamine boost.  I also suspect that I could have a fungal infection in my sinuses, though they are never drippy.
(This person attributes their anxiety to a chronic sinus infection.  http://forums.phoeni...lements.18369/)

 

Maybe significant:  My right foot has been wrecked with athletes foot for 15 years.  OTC treatments as well as baking soda in my shoes were able to get the outward expression to go away significantly, but it is rooted deep under the nails and never has been cured.  I regularly get ringworm, and sometimes it gets bad.  I recently did a couple weeks of internal black walnut tincture and it was clearing up my foot!  I was actually keeping my head above things despite regular mold exposure during that time, so I'm planning on giving it another shot.

 

I was working with a very skilled and experienced clinical herbalist for a short time.  He felt that it would be worth trying to reset my gut flora either with strong doses of herbs or antibiotics, followed by probiotics.  I started a tincture of Black walnut, Goldenseal, Wormwood, and Sweet Annie, but it felt like even at the tiniest doses it would trigger intense mental health symptoms.

 

Most things that should make it better, either make it worse or else just trigger some sort of unpleasant (healing?) experience.  Aerobic exercise is like flipping a coin.  It will either snap me out of my funk, or will trigger a total meltdown.  Acupuncture triggers a total meltdown every time (screaming, convulsing.. not even kidding..).   Liver herbs trigger symptoms.  Lymphatic herbs trigger symptoms.

 

I've had interesting experiences with Dong-Quai.  I once had it completely clear up all my symptoms (taken with Bupleurum and Mimosa bark tinctures).  Subsequent attempts resulted in.. you guessed it.. total meltdown. 
 

 

I cannot tolerate coffee, tea, yerba mate, etc. Yet Red Bull, embarassingly, has turned out to be a very valuable tool if I need to clear up my head a little.  Maybe the taurine and niacin both help me to clear out excess glutamate?

I had a couple months where any time I ate pork I felt horrible afterward. 

Adaptogenic herbs do not help.  I wonder if I might not tolerate high-saponin herbs in general.

Mimosa bark and flower tinctures don't seem to help.  Nor does st. john's wort.  Rosemary and holy basil can sometimes clear my head up.

Mucuna extract felt helpful for a little while.  I don't remember why I stopped.

Low-THC, High-CBD Cannabis seems very helpful.  I spent a week smoking it and was doing great.  Currently I am smoking some random "good weed," which is able to keep me steadier, but the steady place is generally one of feeling small and weak, but less likely to freak out.  It can be a lifesaver in an acute panic, but it clouds my mind and has been something I've been trying to stop using for 10 years.  I go a couple months, and then something will get me crying and I simply won't stop until I find some weed. 

Currently I'm feeling a little unsure about the niacin idea.  It does stop my heart from pounding out of my chest for a couple hours, but it doesn't feel like I'm hitting it at the source. 

I have tried a ton of other things, but I have the hardest time sticking with anything.  I melt down. My world falls apart.  I spend a couple weeks curled in a ball, hardly able to keep myself fed.  By that point I forgot what my intentions were..  

I have some lymph stagnation around my abdomen and groin.  Also, the lymph nodes on the back of my skull often pulsate with pain if I do something strenuous like a steep hike.   I imagine I'm not digesting protein very well, and maybe my liver isnt keeping up with the flow from the portal vein, causing the lymph in that area to pick up the slack.   I try to get a little exercise each day, but too much will make me feel sick, and often will be followed with a lot of other symptoms (panic, depression, etc.)

Its also worth mentioning that during this time of everything being so bad in a pretty unfamiliar way, I've been struggling with some sort of infection in my lungs.  I also just got a cold sore.  I imagine my inflammation is really high in general.  I'm taking Turmeric, but I don't know if it is helping.

Current Supplements:  (all pretty irregular because of the state I've been in)
turmeric - 2 caps, 2-3x/day
niacin - approx 200mg a few times a day, whenever anxiety gets really bad
vitamin C (magnesium ascorbate) - 1000mg, once a day (just started)
Potassium - 99mg (from 595mg potassium gluconate) a couple times a day
Zinc - 50mg zinc chelate, once a day (just started)
"Theanine Serine" - theanine, magnesium, gaba, taurine - 2 tabs, once a day (300mg magnesium, 450mg taurine, 200mg theanine, 500mg gaba) - i never notice a difference
"Bone up" - cal, mag, zinc, k2, etc. bone and teeth supplement - very irregular, 1/3 of the recommended daily dose. 

I'm about to escape to Mexico, where at least I know I'll be warm (not tolerating cold at all).  I feel like swimming in the ocean every day will help me reset.  I'd like to get my plan organized soon so I can know what to bring with me on the trip.

 

[Raman]

Have you tried any psychiatric medicines such as SSRIs, SNRIs, anti-psychotics, benzodiazepines, tricyclics, atypical antidepressants, etc.?

 

In your last post you only talked about naturopathic ("herbal") things.

 

Smoking "Low-THC, High-CBD Cannabis" sounds like self-medication for an anxiety disorder.

 

Have you ever been diagnosed by a doctor?

Edited by Raman, 14 January 2016 - 03:39 AM.

[wubwub]

I've been depressed and anxious my whole life.  I've been on various medicines, though I never got a strong sense of a diagnosis.  I am just given something, I take it for a while, and I stop for whatever reason. 

Benzos - I obtained a pretty big bottle of xanax when I was younger.  It was a dream come true, because it readily put me into a state of hypomania.  Super confident, etc.  Made terrible dilerious decisions.  Nearly died twice.  I took it again many years later and it was just sedative.

SSRIS - I never took any long enough to know for sure how they affect me.

Cannabis - been smoking 12 years.  makes me fearful, unable to think straight, anxious.. and yet I find it impossible to quit.  I could write a small book about all the subtleties to my relationship with this plant.  I think the CBD is a good nervous-system anti-inflammatory that I depend on, and the THC causes lots of trouble for me.

Adderall - I had a pretty thorough remission of my depression, brain fog, fatigue, etc. When I started taking 7.5mg-15mg Adderall IR once per day.  My health deteriorated behind the scenes due to mold and adderall began simply causing me anxiety.  I officially diagnose myself with horrible ADD.  I'm sure some Dr. made that diagnosis at some point.  Adderall made me shit great and made my vision a little blurry.




 

[Raman]

Based on your last post, it sounds like you haven't given psychiatric medicines a try. Obviously, the naturopathic approach of using herbs and supplements hasn't worked for you since you're still having problems.

 

You said in your last post that you've been depressed and anxious your whole life. If you can solve your preexisting anxiety/depression, you should experience at least some improvement in your cognition. I suggest that you find a good psychiatrist and give psychiatric medicines a try. If you cannot take the pills, there is always the inpatient treatment option. An inpatient program might also force you to stop your marijuana addiction, which in the long run is probably a good thing for your cognition.

 

Also I doubt that you'll see any benefit from swimming in the ocean in Mexico. Do you speak Spanish?

 

You might also consider trying these nootropics/supplements for anxiety/depression

1. Tianeptine: an anti-depressent and anxiolytic available as a prescription in some parts of the world. In the US it's not a controlled substance and is available online.
2. Phenibut: an anxiolytic similar to benzodiazepines. Has an addiction potential - shouldn't be used more than twice a week.
3. NSI 189: a drug currently going through FDA approval for depression. See the gigantic NSI thread. Thought to promote growth of neurons in the hippocampus.
4. Inositol: anti-depressent/anxiolytic properties in high doses. See the wikipedia page
5. NAC: anti-depressant/anxiolytic. See the wikipedia page
6. Selank: anecdotal evidence that it helps with some anxiety disorders
7. Semax: anecdotal evidence that it helps with depression/anxiety
8. Noopept: anecdotal evidence that it helps with anxiety
9. See this thread by ScienceGuy http://www.longecity...ly-effectively/

To be honest, you'll probably get the best results if you go to a psychiatrist. The stuff listed above probably won't be as strong as a prescription medication.

[Logic]

Diet?

Antibiotic use and coincidence with symptoms?

Illness/infection and coincidence with symptoms?
Stomach/gut issues?

 

Effects of:

Magnesium. (L-threonate)?

VCO ?

Curcumin ?

 

[wubwub]

Thanks for the perspective.  I definitely do need to find a home and get established with a dr. again.  I was trying to make this happen in VT but I felt so sick from mold that I had to run.  I was sure I"d feel better here, but then I took all those methylation supplements.

 

What I am experiencing the past 3 weeks is totally unfamiliar to me and extremely intense.  My main concern right now is to figure out what is happening now and how to stop it.

 

Does this look like glutamate buildup from overmethylation?   Niacin helps.  No-flush niacin does not. 

 

I've had magnesium taurinate trigger a hypomanic episode (meaning, I felt 110% healed for a full week. euphoric mood).  Magnesium citrate seems to make me feel worse if anything.  Magnesium oxide causes diarrhea too easily.

VCO is coconut oil?  I've taken it, but it was while i was living in a moldy house. It was impossible to know what was helping.  Now I'm in the desert.  Either I'm in the clear with mold, or I'm struggling with Valley Fever.  I never would have guessed I was headed to ground zero of a fungal infection by moving to the SOnoran Desert.
Took me 26 years to discover that I don't tolerate gluten.  Tendency toward constipation.  This past couple months I've had stomachaches almost every day.

When this all began my diet was very heavy, fatty, savory, salty.  Lots of high-quality dense foods.  Wild game. Wild mushrooms. Sea veggies. Broths. Ferments.  I lived in the forest. bathed in a stream each day. Totally validated in terms of friends and community.  This is when my health started heading downhill.      When depressed, i eat sugar. I can't help it.  I eat candy and drink soda.  i don't know how to have self control when i'm borderline suicidal anyway.   Generally, i feel that i eat pretty well.  Currently travelling, so I'm eating more restaurant food.  I haven't been strict.     I don't seem to tolerate pork.

I got Lyme disease when I was 16.  I was given a shot and a round of antibiotics and sent on my way. No followup.  Recent testing shows no coinfections, and a "maybe. probably not" reading for lyme (one band was positive.)

Maybe another clue.. the last time I tapered off of Prenisone it produced an unthinkably disabling suicidal depression. 

Been taking turmeric root + curcumin extract with no obvious benefit, but now I'm wondering if I'm reacting to all this Gelatin from the capsules.
 

 

[wubwub]

I have brought down the panic symptoms using niacin throughout the day, turmeric, taurine, and motherwort (nervine herb specific for anxiety with related heart symptoms). 

I discovered that I was reacting to gelatin capsules, and was also eating tacos that likely had msg in them.  When i started dumping out capsules, there was a clear shift toward feeling better.

My heart is still beating a little fast.  I still feel my nerves overfiring.  I'm still a little emotionally raw (this would be expected, as I am processing a breakup while sick and homeless.)

Thanks for the perspective y'all.  I'm still definitely interested in hearing from more people, but I figure I should also write up a more coherent post now that I'm feeling sane.

[Raman]

@grublife to me it sounds like you might be experiencing hypochondria and/or purely obsessive OCD.

 

Here's a quote from the wikipedia article on Hypochondriasis:

 

Hypochondria is often characterized by fears that minor bodily or mental symptoms may indicate a serious illness, constant self-examination and self-diagnosis, and a preoccupation with one's body.

 

 

From your lasts posts: preoccupation with mold, gelatin capsules, sniffing water up your nose, msg, etc.

Do you honestly think that sniffing some salt water fixed your depression for a week? I'm calling placebo here.

 

Disclaimer:

I'm currently being treated for OCD and depression. Hopefully I am not psychologically projecting my problems onto you.

 

My fixation was on the klonopin I was taking at the time - I was constantly worrying that I would become addicted even though I was on a very small dose. I've experienced the placebo/nocebo effect many times - when I first started meds, when I tried magnesium, when I had genetic testing done, etc. I also had a breakup during the middle of all this and it put me in a literal fog for a couple of weeks. My anxiety and depression shot through the roof, and I'm still not over what happened.

 

I have another friend with GAD and hypochondriasis and she was convinced that she had HIV despite being a virgin. She also had a breakup and she told me she went hysterical and cried for a week.

[wubwub]

I don't deny that anxiety plays a big role in all of this.  I have been experiencing very real and debilitating symptoms for quite a while, and my attempts to work with professionals have almost all been disappointing.  I often feel like I'm completely on my own with this.  Yes, I've tried a lot of things.  To whatever extent these symptoms are rooted in my psychology, the experience of them is very real.  I'm totally interested in addressing it from those angles as well.  I'm pretty well aware of how victim mentality and learned hopelessness and all the unhealthy "secondary gains" of illness factor into this sort of situation.  Still, I persist in finding some relief. 

I have always been prone to anxiety.  I could take SSRIs or something, and I probably will get on something soon, but I still would like better insight into why it is so.  What is the imbalance?

Psychosomatic or not, I've experienced the most intense symptoms upon being exposed to mold smells, over and over again.  The experience of this is exhausting and debilitating.  Maybe it could also clear up with some antidepressant/antianxiety pharmaceutical treatment.  I'd love that.  I've gone through phases of feeling convinced that this is all primarily psychosomatic, but my attempts at self-hypnosis, EFT, etc. were not particularly helpful.

My situation over the past month really stands alone and I'm having a hard time making sense of it.  I have calmed down quite a bit emotionally, but my heart palpitates (feels like a big rock is tumbling around in my chest) all day, my body feels like it is vibrating, and as this gets stronger, I lose my emotional strength and have outbursts of codependent nonsense that I usually am able to keep in check.    All of this goes away when I take a flushing dose of niacin.  I was really hoping that someone would recognize that dynamic and offer perspective.   I recognize that anxiety often creates heart palpitations, yet I've never experienced this even once in my entire anxiety-filled life.  Something very unfamiliar and unexpected is going on here.  It is persisting regardless of my mood or level of anxiety, and it is readily, temporarily, remedied with niacin.  I'd love to have a clue what that means.  Did I kick-start my methylation and somehow it has continued to stay fast despite discontinuing supplements?  Is overmethylation bringing up my glutamate levels?

Also, I don't think the sinus rinse thing is too far fetched.  I have some reason to believe I have a leaky blood-brain barrier, as I have nervous system effects from both msg and gaba.  The sinuses are just millimeters from the lymbic system, and there are studies that have drawn some correlations between sinus issues and anxiety and depression.  Do y'all think that sinus inflammation coupled with a more permeable BBB could cause brain inflammation?

Ayurvedic medicine views the sinuses as a gateway to the brain and nervous system for whatever that's worth.  I'm also remembering that the newly discovered lymph duct that drains lymph from the brain was found running along a sinus (in a mouse?). 

https://www.psycholo...nked-depression
http://www.ncbi.nlm....pubmed/21493211
http://www.nih.gov/n...-nervous-system

 

Thanks.
 

[niner]

wubwub, it sounds like you have a mold allergy.  That's a relatively common problem, and it can really make you feel lousy.  In fact, allergies can produce symptoms that seem psychological; it can feel a lot like depression.  If you can get it together so see an allergist, and have health care, transportation, money, etc, then you could get your allergies diagnosed and treated.  That might do a lot to make you feel better.  You might want to look into a non-drowsy antihistamine.  Costco has generic claritin dirt cheap.  You might also benefit from a nasal steroid, like nasacort.  It's available without a prescription now.

[richards2324]

it could be mold but you seem kind of dodgy like you don't want it to be psychiatric. ssri's are shit i'd reccomend a dopamine boosting drug. you could try serzone (triple reuptake inhibitor, may run the risk of liver damage rare though but I believe it's an affective antidperssant), nardil (MAOI), parnate (MAOI), or low dose Seligiline to start. On the MAOI's be aware of the tyramine restricted diet like avoiding aged cheeses, it can sent you into a hypertensive crisis. actually to start you could simply take wellbutrin to see if that removes anxiety and depression it may increase anxiety longterm as it's prone to this. if that works you know it's dopamine and it's metabilite norepinephrine (norepinephrine is what can cause anxiety longterm it's stimulating). I went through a period of time in life I didn't want to accept it was chemical or even consider take drugs. I was foggy just like this and blamed it on everything but it being chemical it's like my brain was playing tricks on me and I just couldn't accept it.

[staticdivide]

The symptoms you describe are pretty characteristic of over-methylation. By taking things like SAMe snd other supplements that induce or promote methylation, you will get much worse. Are you under the impression that you're under-methylated? I could be wrong, but this was how I interpreted what you said....?

[wubwub]

Please understand that my initial posts were made while I was experiencing worse symptoms than I ever have in my life.  I was feeling absolutely desperate.  I understand that they make me sound like a nut.  I have not denied that the symptoms I experience are primarily psychiatric, and I'm aware that there's probably a pharmaceutical that could offer palliative relief.  My journey with this has been fueled by my hope of getting to the bottom of what is going on, and I'm very open to a wide variety of perspectives and approaches.  I believe that all illness is multi-layered, often in seemingly paradoxical ways.  This is not all physical.  It is not all mental/emotional.  It is all intertwined.  There are even mythical elements.  This is my journey through healing, and as I attain physical and mental health, there are also deeper wisdoms emerging from territory I never would have chosen to traverse on my own.  The likelihood of psychosomatic factors does not logically point to the inevitability of treating it with pharmaceuticals, nor does it discredit my experience. 

@richards2324  Dodgy, as in dishonest and unreliable, or as in dangerous?  Maybe you thought it meant "tending to dodge things?"  I will say that I feel like you are projecting your experience onto me.  I have experienced very clear and pronounced symptoms every time I come in contact with any sort of musty or moldy smell, for the past three years.  I have gone through many phases of thoroughly doubting and reevaluating my perspective of all this, and have scrapped many ideas I've had about what is going on, but one thing is very clear:  Mold sends me spiraling into hell pretty quickly and without fail.  It could be purely psychosomatic.  It could be an inefficiency or exaggeration of my immune response.  It could be an inefficiency of my liver metabolism.  It could be a straight-forward true allergy taking a strange expression due to other factors.  Whatever it is, it isn't me desperately grasping for an explanation for why I'm always sad.  I'm sharing my experience, and if you think I'm full of shit, what can I say?

@staticdivide  Thank you for commenting.  I first tuned into the idea of addressing my symptoms by modulating methylation when I came across the book "Nutrient Power" by Dr. William Walsh.  Rather than using genetic tests, he relies mainly on symptom-pictures of the various "depression biotypes" along with a few simple tests.   When I read through the lists of symptoms associated with each biotype, I felt sure I was an OVERmethylator.  It described my experience perfectly.  I had my histamine levels tested and they came out elevated, which Dr. Walsh says is a reliable indication of UNDERmethylation.   Based on this interpretation, I decided to try to increase my methylation.  I started those supplements, and within a week all of my symptoms were SO MUCH WORSE.  Way out of control.  A couple weeks of hell later, I posted those first posts.  

 

I have since been taking a large dose of niacin every time I feel like i start getting emotionally fragile, and it brings me right back to myself.  I've been taking it at least 3x per day.  Currently, I am feeling better than I have in 3 years.  I am speaking more clearly than I ever have.

 

HERE'S MY CURRENT THEORY.  Please tell me of something is off.  I know I'm missing some pieces, as I don't fully understand all this science.

- My methylation has been high for a long time, producing the symptoms I've been experiencing my whole life. 

- High methylation creates high glutamate levels, which has created my tendency toward anxiety and other symptoms.
- Exposure to mold created inflammation in my sinuses which crossed my leaky BBB.  My glumatate levels were already high, and any further boost produced marked symptoms as I really couldn't afford for glutamate to get any higher.  (Always been sensitive to MSG.  Benzodiazapenes make me feel like a million bucks, energetic, etc.)
- Similarly, any extra gut inflammation can put me above a tolerable threshhold of glutamate in the brain, thus my constantly changing food intolerances.
- Niacin mops up extra methyl groups and stimulates the enzymatic process that breaks down glutamate, thus relieving my symptoms.
[Red Bull helps because it contains Taurine (helps reduce glutamate), B12 (can slow methylation? confused about that), and Niacin.  The caffeine is often relevant because I am usually very fatigued.]

{{ I also tested high for kryptopyrroles.  Do y'all consider pyroluria to be a legitimate concern?  I know it is considered pseudoscientific by many (I imagine there's a quackwatch page about it..) }}

I went from a sustained suicidal despair to feeling happy and more confident than ever in less than a week, and the only thing I was doing consistently is taking Niacin.  (I have been driving all day every day and not keeping up with other supplements very well.)   I feel amazing, but I am confident that it is not hypomania.  I am not euphoric.  I am not getting pleasure from unusual things like the feeling of clothes on my skin.  I'm level headed and it feels sustainable.  I've only been crying in the moments that it hits me that I may be at the end of this nightmare.  Tears of joy.

Of course, I've been in a similar place before.  When I have a moment of relief, I want to scream from the mountaintops that I'm healed, so I'm trying to not get ahead of myself.  Either way, the theory I wrote out above is where I'm at now.  Does it sound plausible?

Thanks for the help.

[wubwub]

Oh yeah, I have also been consistent with taking a tincture formula of 4 parts motherwort, 1 part devil's club, and 1 part rose.  This is based mostly on traditional energetic indications of these herbs.  Its a formula for anxiety with symptoms involving both the physical heart (palpitations) and emotional heart (heartbreak). 

[staticdivide]

That's fantastic, I'm glad to hear that you're feeling much better! What you have said is making me very curious to try niacin. This is because I'm someone who also exhibits the same classic symptoms you have (my whole life, same as you). I've spent so much time and money chasing supplement after supplement thinking "this is gonna be the one that finally cures me"— only to find that they either have no positive effect on me, or actually make me worse.

It seems that even supplements/herbs with proven track records and countless positive reviews (things like St. John's Wort and Rhodiola)— have no positive effect on me like so many others, and have even made problems worse (like brain fog, etc),

The one thing I haven't tried yet has to approach the whole "methylation" angle, but it seems no less plausible than any of the other things I've ever suspected.

I'm going to give niacin a try. What dose are you taking? You said you could notice very quickly that it had a positive effect on you? I'll report back.

[wubwub]

The buzzing/humming physical anxiety is STILL there, on and off.  Tachycardia has calmed down a bit but is still there.
I take up to 500mg niacin, depending on how frequently I've been taking it.  If I don't for a whole day and then take 500mg, it will be too much.  My results with it have not been consistent.  I feel like it may be helping in some regard but harming in another.

I'm going to try taking B12 and see how that influences these symptoms.  Methyl-B12 would not be useful for reducing methylation, but other forms might, right?

 

[GreenmachineX]

Bump for this ancient thread wondering how OP is doing! I’m in a similar boat, but not exact, teetering back and forth between over and undermethylation.