Hello, I wanted to start a sort of internet-diary for quite a while and among other platforms I decided on longecity, because I'm very new to the subject and I need all the specialized knowledge, experience and advice I can get and posting this on a forum for general life improvement would gives me way less access to people experience in the nootropic area.
Prehistory:
4-5 years ago: I've failed my bachelor thesis, because I would procrastinate at doing essential tasks, contacting required people. It was in no way too difficult for me, but I made it so. I think I was distracting myself mostly by plasr aying League of Legends, while smoking rolled cigarretes. I would occassionally get drunk.
3-4 years ago: I've failed my bachelor thesis second time. For the same reason, although I'm indulging in alcohol more and still playing League of Legends or watching entire seasons of TV shows in days. This time my brother offered to pay for the studies, so my self esteem is in the gutters.
1 year 4 months - 3 years ago: I find a job in retail. I become pretty good at it, make some good friends there. Although all of them leave. New people, new management, I feel entitled as fuck (since I was doing a lot on my initiave and was a go to person for pretty much any subject) and since I'm drinking often i'm not happy and emotionally resillient - I display that in a pretty lame way, as you can imagine. Tension builds up and I get fired. I spent next 3 months drinking (I'd say equivalent of 0.6 Liter Vodka 5 out of 7 days of the week), smoking and playing League of Legends.
2 months ago - 1 year 2 months: am in debt and heavily depressed. I feel pathetic about myself. My relative suggests to come to live in Germany. To find work and get up back on my feet (not one of my friends or family know that I'm an alcoholic). I do so and for about 2 months I do not touch alcohol and cigarettes. Until I start receiving paychecks. So if we look back at 2016, beginning of March - I'm drinking about 0.7 liter of Vodka per day (or equivalent of Red Wine) most of the days of the week, I'm smoking and spending all my time mindless entertainment. At this point I don't have a job. I can't look people in the eye, any work requires so much effort. I feel, with good reason, hated by my relative and have brutally low self-esteem. People around cannot understand what the fuck is wrong with me, why I'm not doing anything with my life. At this point still no one knows that I'm an alcoholic.
8 weeks ago, I have pretty much no money and somehow my debit card allowed me to go into debt, until I couldn't. I have to be very careful with my purchases, otherwise I will have nothing to eat. Although I take food from my relative, but only when I'm not seen... Still drinking and smoking cheapeast stuff I can find.
7 weeks ago, I stop smoking because too expensive, still drinking cheap red wine. Spend all my time watching TV shows on laptop.
6 weeks ago: Start reading Allen Carr's "Easyway to control Alcoholism". Book instructs to not quit at this point. I am almost moneyless, so I choose to drink 4-5 half a liter cans of beer per day, since they're the cheapest alcohol source.
5 weeks ago: I accidentally break my laptop. Spend the next 2 weeks mostly reading and drinking in the evenings. June 1st I start no porn, no masturbation habit (goal is whole summer).
4 weeks ago: July 12th is the day when I ceremoniously drink my last alcoholic drink ever. After few day I tell the WHOLE truth to my relative. I admit all my shames. It's cathartic. I feel understood. I think there's hope for me. I start doing DDP Yoga 3 times per week and high intensity training 2 times per week.
3 weeks ago: In next 2 days I find a place of employement. I read a lot. I start doing creative visualization and non directive meditation each day.
2 weeks ago: After working for 2 days I'm fired. I don't give fuck. I trust my competence and motivation at this point. I'm also maintaining my fitness and mind habits. By the way - I have about 6 euros to my name.
6-7 days ago: A miracle happens. I've receive a considerable sum of money from the unemployment agency for the past months. I made no inquiry about it and didn't expect it. I feel grateful and invigorated. I start Keto diet. In the morning I drink bulletproof coffee and then fast until 16-17 hour. I decide to order a bunch of supplements and somehow nootropics catch my attention. I start devouring information about them. Meanwhile also order a bunch of vitamins, minerals and light nootropics.
3-5 days ago: I order some more serious, to my standards, stuff. I'm bursting with excitement. Last several days from early morning (I started waking up at 6 regularly) to evening I've spent reading articles, reviews, ebooks and discussions and listening to podcasts about nootropics.
2 days ago: I receive my first nootropic - Piracetam. More about that in the next post.
Today: In the last month i have made the largest leap in the language improvement of the past year. I went from having a noticeable bunch of lard on my belly to having a six pack and getting noticeably stronger. My self esteem is significantly higher. I can focus much better and work requires much less efort. Now let's see what I can achieve with help from Nootropics
Goals:
- Find a job, which I would enjoy
- Learn SEO, Internet marketing, copywriting. Find a public way way of expressing myself ant monetising it. (Or something of this theme. I'm green at this, and up to this point I've never had ustained discipline to immerse myself)
- Become fluent in German
- Continually make my body stronger, more mobile and more graceful.
- Have serene, peaceful, happy and detached state as my baseline.
- Develop relationships with people which would enrich my life. Start enjoying social interactions without anxiety.
- Have a lot of sex with beautiful women.
My nootropics and supplements:
- Piracetam 120x1200mg, Pirabene 120x1200mg, Geratam 120x1200mg. Those last too are trademarked piracetams, and little more expensive. Although they'll probably will be the same, but why not try.
- Noopept - sublingual liquid - 1 g
- Modvigil 10x200mg, Modalert 10x200mg
- Phenibut - 20x250mg
- Alpha GPC - 50 g
- Acetyl L-Carnitine - 100g
- L-Theanine - 50g
- Bacopa Monnieri - 30g
And the rest of supplements. I'll write the ammount of substance in one capsule and in () the ammount of them I'll be consuming daily:
- Vitamin D - 5600 IE (1-morning, with BP Coffee)
- Vitamin K2 - 200mc (1-morning, with BP Coffee),
- Vitamin B-50 - The whole array of b group vitamins in high doses (1 with first solid meal)
- Magnessium Chellate - 200mg (3-4 with first solid meal)
- Zinc Glucomate - 50mg (1 with first solid meal)
- Copper - 2mg (1 with first solid meal)
- Boron - 3mg (3 with first solid meal)
- PB8 Probiotic (1)
- Vitamin C - haven't bought yet, but i'll probably mix it in my water and add some with my meals, to consume 2-3 grams daily.
- Lecithin - 1200mg (1 tablet for each 1200 of Pirace, until my Alpha GPC arrives)
In the further posts I'll start describing my experiences and specific doses for the smart drugs and nootropics . I'll start with Piracetam, which arrived first. Will make a post either tomorrow or in next few days.
Your comments, hellos, questions and advice are very welcome.