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Worse Depression After Breakup

depression relationship

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#1 KieranA001

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Posted 24 March 2017 - 03:07 PM


Hi guys, 

 

I had depression before all my life but I have just broke up with my fiancee after two years of being with her. My depression has gone rock bottom, cannot stop crying, feel guilty, cannot eat anything / loss of appetite, feel like killing myself (even though I wouldn't let it get that far), I feel useless and hopeless, like I don't have a sense of life anymore. 

 

Does anyone know anything that will help me overcome all of this. I now have no friends to go to, I have nobody I only had her and she understood me well. 

 

Any supplements or anything I can do? 

 

Thank you. 


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#2 sthira

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Posted 24 March 2017 - 03:55 PM

I'm very sorry, man. It's agonizing and I've been through the shit, too. Haven't all of us? Even her? For me (and this isn't you, of course) I found that unfortunately no supplement or prescription medication to help heal my broken heart.

In fact, the opposite: exploring anti-depressant cycles, and then a dozen pitched, bro-science supplements, and even mainstream talk therapists just seem to make things worse.

What worked (sorta) for me is to get out of my head, face the harsh truths that I did the best I could for love and to keep her, it didn't work, we fell out of sync for all the complicated reasons so intimate. And so we reluctantly moved our separate ways, none of it was easy for either of us. Acceptance took me a long, long time. And I'm still not there -- deep wounds slowly healing. There just aren't any easy answers, sadly, through heartbreak.

Find something you love -- work or exercise, immerse yourself in healthy living, improve your diet, try meditation or yoga or dance, hit the books, try to find ways to improve yourself. The thing is -- stay out of the head -- "Being in my head is like being in a bad neighborhood, I don't go there alone," someone wrote.

Engage the body instead, give your limbs and feet and arms and legs healthy work to do, whatever it is that you love. Stay away from endless booze if that's what's beckoning here in dark. Alcohol, drugs, doing crazy shit just isn't gonna help much long term.

Sorry if this writing is too long: I try to experience all the emotions as they bang on and on within me: sadness moves into anger that morphs into fear then relief, maybe, briefly, a slight glimpse of freedom, then it's right back to crippling depression. Like clockwork, these emotions. If I give meditation a chance, simple seated breathing helps a because it gives me the time to watch the restless brain as it cycles between shitty emotions. Seated meditation isn't a cure, of course, but look at the horrors that people like the Tibetians have endured, gracefully, calmly, breathing in and out in meditation, and eventually some compassion and acceptance of the suffering may sustain.

You're not alone, we all go must through the shit. Sorry I'm zero help with supplements, tho, for me nothing worked beyond finding my life's passion, devoting myself to it.
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#3 jack black

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Posted 25 March 2017 - 02:47 AM

I agree. any relationship crisis make me depressed, too.

with time, I understood that it's naive to expect any relationship to be perfect and i settled on the next best thing.

is there a way to go back?


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#4 KieranA001

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Posted 27 March 2017 - 02:12 PM

I agree. any relationship crisis make me depressed, too.

with time, I understood that it's naive to expect any relationship to be perfect and i settled on the next best thing.

is there a way to go back?

 

So on Saturday, she met up with me and we spoke about things although she did most of the speaking.. She was there for an hour, and told me she loves me she's just had enough of the arguing all the time so I told her I will stop arguing but it's her as well (as I feel she doesn't listen to me) when I told her I only see her for an hour a week. 

 

She asked me if I wanted my engagement ring back, so I said no (because it would hold too much pain) and then she phoned up her mum and asked her to pick her up. So in that instance, I got up from the bench and walked away. She said why walk away, and I said because you left me and phoned your mum to pick you up. She left, and told me to remove all my photos and our Facebook ones. Next, I couldn't so she said that she will first. 

 

A few hours later I meet up with my mates (only two I have) and we sat in a pub and had a drink. She asked me if I was still out and I said yes, she texted me can we talk so I said yes at 10 when everything has calmed down. She spoke over the phone with me and told me she needs a week away to think. I am still going to take it as a breakup. 

 

She seems to blame me for everything, she has been very negative towards me, I honestly don't know what I want after this week, because I'm too scared to just get hurt again. I do miss her a lot though.


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