142 replies to this topic

[Deaden]

 

 

None of the above.

I'd keep on the journey of finding a treatment which WORKS.

And as I've said before, Brexpiprazole could be useful - perhaps combined with Ondansetron and Reboxetine. To my knowledge, you have not trialled any of the three above drugs - two of whom are also antidepressants.

Another option, is Aripiprazole, but I think Brex might be better, since it's a less activating SDAM, so perhaps less likely to cause hallucinations than Arip.

Like I said before, if I could trial those I would (already have checked the research into them), Ondasetron and Reboxetine are too expensive and I'm unable to obtain it through my pdoc off-label. Brexi is not on the market in Europe and won't be until somewhere in 2018/2019

That leaves me with the Abilify and afaik it's a potent antipsychotic but causes a lot of anxiety and is crap at treating negatives and/or depression. And besides I'm waiting for Cariprazine, which should be on the market soon, that's a drug that might help a little to maybe great with negatives and depression.

And then there's Nardil and/or Parnate I'm willing to give a shot. If those also fail I'm pretty much left clueless to tackle my symptoms.

 

 

My apologies, my memory is not the best.

 

Why is your Pdoc unwilling to prescribe them? Reboxetine in particular shouldn't be a problem, since you DO have depression, so it wouldn't even be off-label - why does she hesitate? Honestly, playing it too close by the book is merely stupid when a patient is as ill as you seem to be.

 

Cariprazine is a good idea! : ) Good to hear it's finally close to market here in the EU.

 

I just checked online regarding Ondansetron though, and it actually seems fairly available, only problem would be the price - it is available for cheaper in some stores, but some of them do look kind of shifty...

 

But have a look at this list - the ones in the UK shouldn't be an issue ordering from. (until brexit takes hold, that is! lol!)

 

https://www.pharmacy...dansetron/4 mg/

 

 

I wouldn't try Nardil or Parnate except in a controlled environment (i.e, the psychiatric ward) and/or with a fast-acting antipsychotic at hand.

 

Wait so I can buy drugs on this website without needing a prescription?? If it's legit medication it would be too good to be true. I have to pay three hundred per psychiatric appointment because of how shit insurances are in America and I'm not even guaranteed that they would be okay with prescribing me the medication I need. I really don't want to waste my time with s*** they recommend I take when they never even heard the word anhedonia before and when I research the drug they want me to try I read a lot of comments of people that say it didn't work for them. I'm on Nardil right now, really need Nortryptiline, you think it would be safe for me to order some online from websites that don't ask for a prescription?? Jaiho said maybe I should do that, but I want confirmation from someone else. Please please answer!!

[hydrus]

I know that's not necessarily an enticing option to suggest, but there is newer scientific evidence backing modern, controlled ECT - neurogenesis does occur, and because of the newer data, the newest algorithms for the treatment of ANOTHER psychosis-disorder, Bipolar, have now moved ECT way higher up on the list for treating depressive states.

 

I know it's not common in the USA, but here in Europe it's use has seen an upswing the last decade or so, mainly because of this new data.

 

You're probably aware of the side-effects - but don't let them blind you to the potential benefits.

 

 

It works.

 

 

 

I think the evidence shows it works but only temporarily. If you compare ECT with a placebo treatment it is better than placebo for a few weeks and after that the results are the same. So you would have either get a new ECT session or deal with the symptoms again.

 

There are claims about neurogenesis happening so perhaps it does help with brain healing. The only problem is that evidence of neurogenesis itself does not tell us much because neurogenesis does also happen as a response to a brain injury. If you damage nerve cells the body will respond by pouring out substances that promote brain repair.

 

If I hit myself on the head with a hammer and manage to injure some of my brain cells there will also be increased neurogenesis.

 

Some people report permanent improvement with ECT others report permanent impairment so what the mechanism of the improvement/worsening is is not clear yet.

 

I followed some blogs of people who underwent ECT and honestly I would not undergo this treatment unless extremely desperate, willing to live with permanent substantial congnitive impairment as result of the therapy and no other options available.

 

For the most part I was not impressed. Sure some people report improvement but even the success stories weren't too exciting and In some cases pretty serious brain dysfunction followed the therapy. In some cases it might save lives by getting highly suicidal people out of their depression but for the majority of patients it seemed like  a lame therapy over a longer period of time.

 

I've been drinking 6-8 beers a day (almost each day for 1,5 months now)

 

 

With 6-8 beers a day you would already qualify as an alcoholic. Not everyone is prone to alcoholism but most likely your mental health will worsen over time with this treatment even if you should not get addicted.

Edited by hydrus, 27 August 2017 - 07:24 AM.

[Mind_Paralysis]

 

 

 

None of the above.

I'd keep on the journey of finding a treatment which WORKS.

And as I've said before, Brexpiprazole could be useful - perhaps combined with Ondansetron and Reboxetine. To my knowledge, you have not trialled any of the three above drugs - two of whom are also antidepressants.

Another option, is Aripiprazole, but I think Brex might be better, since it's a less activating SDAM, so perhaps less likely to cause hallucinations than Arip.

Like I said before, if I could trial those I would (already have checked the research into them), Ondasetron and Reboxetine are too expensive and I'm unable to obtain it through my pdoc off-label. Brexi is not on the market in Europe and won't be until somewhere in 2018/2019

That leaves me with the Abilify and afaik it's a potent antipsychotic but causes a lot of anxiety and is crap at treating negatives and/or depression. And besides I'm waiting for Cariprazine, which should be on the market soon, that's a drug that might help a little to maybe great with negatives and depression.

And then there's Nardil and/or Parnate I'm willing to give a shot. If those also fail I'm pretty much left clueless to tackle my symptoms.

 

 

My apologies, my memory is not the best.

 

Why is your Pdoc unwilling to prescribe them? Reboxetine in particular shouldn't be a problem, since you DO have depression, so it wouldn't even be off-label - why does she hesitate? Honestly, playing it too close by the book is merely stupid when a patient is as ill as you seem to be.

 

Cariprazine is a good idea! : ) Good to hear it's finally close to market here in the EU.

 

I just checked online regarding Ondansetron though, and it actually seems fairly available, only problem would be the price - it is available for cheaper in some stores, but some of them do look kind of shifty...

 

But have a look at this list - the ones in the UK shouldn't be an issue ordering from. (until brexit takes hold, that is! lol!)

 

https://www.pharmacy...dansetron/4 mg/

 

 

I wouldn't try Nardil or Parnate except in a controlled environment (i.e, the psychiatric ward) and/or with a fast-acting antipsychotic at hand.

 

Wait so I can buy drugs on this website without needing a prescription?? If it's legit medication it would be too good to be true. I have to pay three hundred per psychiatric appointment because of how shit insurances are in America and I'm not even guaranteed that they would be okay with prescribing me the medication I need. I really don't want to waste my time with s*** they recommend I take when they never even heard the word anhedonia before and when I research the drug they want me to try I read a lot of comments of people that say it didn't work for them. I'm on Nardil right now, really need Nortryptiline, you think it would be safe for me to order some online from websites that don't ask for a prescription?? Jaiho said maybe I should do that, but I want confirmation from someone else. Please please answer!!

 

 

You can buy drugs on several reasonably reliable websites, yes.

 

You have DP/DR, correct? What is your reasoning for believing Nortriptyline is more effective? I'd suggest a combo of Lamotrigine and CERC-501 myself, based on the theorised mechanism behind DP/DR.

 

 

Now, you're already on an MAOI, so I suppose you understand the dangers of using an MAOI, but otherwise I wouldn't recommend buying such a medication without extensive medical knowledge - they're the last line for a reason, both powerful and dangerous.

 

You can read up on this list as well, which fellow Longecitier Hip did a couple of years back:

 

http://forums.phoeni...harmacies.8113/

 

Have they finally given you an official diagnosis btw? I just recalled that if you are purely anhedonic I suppose that's why you want to try Nortriptyline - as I recall it though, you were dissociated from your memories - that's DP/DR as well, man.

[Deaden]

Why would I have DP/DR?? Maybe I share some symptoms with people with this disorder, but where is the anxiety? I haven't even felt a tiny bit of anxiety in like... I have no f****** clue I am so dissociated from my memories, I just know it's been at least months. Also if you read how people with DP describe their emotional numbness, they all say they feel like they can almost cry, feel happy, but can't touch the emotion... or something like that. I really don't have the same experience with my emotional numbness and am not the only one. I don't feel disconnected to my body either. I have a very mild sense of unreality to the world, but it is weird and hard to notice, I think it's because my memory is so affected that it affects my consciousness indirectly. I remember having a huge panic attack on lsd (way after my symptoms first appeared), ended up at the ER and my brain started hurting like hell, a type of pain where I felt like my brain was getting stabbed on knives charged with electricity every second, I was begging for them to give me another pain med every 2minutes even though they told me to patient for it to work (it didn't, even the strongest ones). Anyway going to stop talking about that, I want to go in the details of how bad this experience was because it was so terrible that it is almost interesting but it's not the subject. My point is, I was very anxious for hours because I felt like I was about to die and the next morning I woke up disconnected to the world. It made me discover what derealization was, thing is that feeling went away after a couple days and so now I'm convinced I don't have that. I read some people with anhedonia also have aphantasia and when they get out from anhedonia, they recuperate images in their mind. I think if I treat my anhedonia, my memory will go back to normal. To be honest, I remember on my first cigarettes when it used to make my emotions back to normal for a couple minutes just from one, already felt more connected to my childhood memories.

 

Okay you know what? I will try a few anhedonia treatments and if they don't work (most likely will) I will test your combo, but really doubt it's what I need. I wonder though, has it been effective for anyone? Do you recommend it on DP forums to help those that seem the most desperate? Also, you are wrong about MAOIs... they are just full of misconceptions that don't follow real facts. Go read about those drugs on Dr Gillman website if you are curious. Anyway, thanks a lot for your link though you just saved me hundreds or probably thousands of dollars for psychiatric appointments because some doctors I may have to skip and find another one. Not to mention the wait time between each appointment. I'm responsible enough to research a medication and be aware of the risks and interactions. I get way more information about a drug online that when I get prescriptions from a psychiatrist. There's also hundreds of comments of people describing their experience with anhedonia, what worked for them, what didn't. I can easily know what could possibly work or what would be a waste of time for me. So the fact that I can now order anything online is amazing thank you. Will be making sure that I don't take anything that would be unsafe. 

Edited by Deaden, 27 August 2017 - 01:21 PM.

[MichaelTheAnhedonic]

I think it's a good idea to create something like anhedonia-wiki where we'll put meds/supplements/therapies which works and which not. Currently I don't have enough energy for that, so that's just my idea...

[Deaden]

Well we gave you treatment options and you're not trying anything anyway so why do you care?

[MichaelTheAnhedonic]

What the...? I have changes in my brain which need to be investigated! Still waiting for my next visit with neurologist and psychiatrist. And you know what? I don't care... CUZ THIS IS MY MAIN SYMPTOM OF THIS FUCKING DISEASE!

 

I'll try NSI-189 and aripiprazole, then I'll talk about med combinations (sertraline+nor/amitryptiline). Maybe I'll try levodopa (subjects with primary negative symptoms responded to it, scientists suspect that it's caused by hypodopaminergic state in mesocortical-dopaminergic pathway). So please, don't tell me that I'm not trying. It's just fucking hard to maintain proper energy levels at my state. 

Edited by MichaelTheAnhedonic, 27 August 2017 - 04:43 PM.

[Deaden]

Ugh okay fair.

 

I hate the weak biological bodies life offered us, but you know what I hate more? Death. Why are we humans such conscious beings, but at the same time so vulnerable to health issues. I despise healthy people that achieve nothing with their lives besides wasting it living innocently happy and dying after a meaningless existence. I despise doctors that don't do their jobs correctly and don't help the unlucky ones appropriately. I despise humans with low intellect that open their mouths to say worthless shit insulting the greatness of our specie, perfect example would be Donald Trump. Why are we mortal? I wanted to do everything to correct that, of course I'd be one of the unfortunates with anhedonia. My motivation, my drive... it's gone. So frustrated this would happen to me and not someone that plans on achieving nothing with its life that doesn't care about dying. Who cares about happiness? Living meaninglessly is worse.

 

Anyway... felt like sharing this random rant. You can down vote me now I don't care.

[jaiho]

I'm happy enough that i lived a very fulfilled live up until my late 20s, it's when my Anhedonia started seeping in.

Still not at full remission (despite all the research) but i remain optimistic, even living with such a horrid disease.

 

Trump is a good example of someone who is living without Anhedonia, his ambition is unlimited. I was the same.

 

I'll probably end up back on MAOIs, my only reasoning to try everything else is that MAOIs are sexually disabling to me, not the case for most people. I'm unlucky in that way.

Hoping i can get some sexuality, and anhedonia relief with some other experiments im trying.

 

[Deaden]

I read sexual side effects of MAOIs can go away after taking those for a couple months. F*** this, I want DBS, an anhedonia cure? Just like that? Anyone that lived with anhedonia for more than a year deserves that surgery for free. How do you even get access to it?? Someone do a TED talk about anhedonia omg, this condition is so unrecognized. I swear if I get out I will. Normally I don't like to spend my time helping people doing stuff that isn't productive for my own self, but I'll make an exception for this. At least people with cancer, aids, autism get recognition. We don't, we have to do everything on our own, and it's like nobody cares because they don't understand what we have and how bad this is. We are like ghosts screaming for help with no success stuck in a room. No, I will not let anhedonia ruin my life. I will get out of this. 

Edited by Deaden, 27 August 2017 - 05:28 PM.

[jaiho]

I read sexual side effects of MAOIs can go away after taking those for a couple months. F*** this, I want DBS, an anhedonia cure? Just like that? Anyone that lived with anhedonia for more than a year deserves that surgery for free. How do you even get access to it?? Someone do a TED talk about anhedonia omg, this condition is so unrecognized. I swear if I get out I will. Normally I don't like to spend my time helping people doing stuff that isn't productive for my own self, but I'll make an exception for this. At least people with cancer, aids, autism get recognition. We don't, we have to do everything on our own, and it's like nobody cares because they don't understand what we have and how bad this is. We are like ghosts screaming for help with no success stuck in a room. No, I will not let anhedonia ruin my life. I will get out of this. 

 

That's the kind of attitude that will get you out of it.

Keep the fight up. I've been fighting it for years but one thing i do know, it's treatable.

 

There will be times that you'll think its all pointless and living with anhedonia is no life. But as long as we're alive, we can eventually know what happiness feels like again.

Especially if we used to experience it. 

 

I have felt it for a period after MDMA & Meditation, or psilocybin.

Or SSRI + TCA, or MAOI + TCA.

 

But the main thing missing from all this is sexuality. Im still young, i want that part of me back again. And unfortunately, the most potent treatments for Anhedonia also are sexually disabling.

[ThreeKings12341]

 

I read sexual side effects of MAOIs can go away after taking those for a couple months. F*** this, I want DBS, an anhedonia cure? Just like that? Anyone that lived with anhedonia for more than a year deserves that surgery for free. How do you even get access to it?? Someone do a TED talk about anhedonia omg, this condition is so unrecognized. I swear if I get out I will. Normally I don't like to spend my time helping people doing stuff that isn't productive for my own self, but I'll make an exception for this. At least people with cancer, aids, autism get recognition. We don't, we have to do everything on our own, and it's like nobody cares because they don't understand what we have and how bad this is. We are like ghosts screaming for help with no success stuck in a room. No, I will not let anhedonia ruin my life. I will get out of this. 

 

That's the kind of attitude that will get you out of it.

Keep the fight up. I've been fighting it for years but one thing i do know, it's treatable.

 

There will be times that you'll think its all pointless and living with anhedonia is no life. But as long as we're alive, we can eventually know what happiness feels like again.

Especially if we used to experience it. 

 

I have felt it for a period after MDMA & Meditation, or psilocybin.

Or SSRI + TCA, or MAOI + TCA.

 

But the main thing missing from all this is sexuality. Im still young, i want that part of me back again. And unfortunately, the most potent treatments for Anhedonia also are sexually disabling.

 

 

jaiho, if u wouldnt have taken lsd during your antianhedonia effect of notryp + ... do you think u still would be emotional like when the treatment helped at first? did the lsd really ruin the positive effects?
 

[jaiho]

 

 

jaiho, if u wouldnt have taken lsd during your antianhedonia effect of notryp + ... do you think u still would be emotional like when the treatment helped at first? did the lsd really ruin the positive effects?

 

No idea. The LSD didn't ruin anything, it's because i tried combining it with SRI+NTP. It doesn't go well with that.

I regularly tripped on NSI+Moclobemide before that, and that period was some of my best.

[YoungSchizo]

Guys, tbh, anhedonia and some symptoms of severe negative symptoms doesn't differ much. You can down-vote me how much you like because of my alcoholism but keep in mind I don't have the luxury you guys have (trying LSD, Ketamine or whatever extreme available option there is to cure yourself of some awful disabling feelings that keeps your mind a prisoner of a negative outlook on almost every aspect of life), I don't have the luxury to try anything that alters dopamine and/or serotonine in my reward system to cure myself. In my case, alcohol helps me to feel happy/normal/relaxed a few hours a day without aggravating my depression and/or positive symptoms and I'm "thankful" for that. I will also keep on trialing meds/supplements/herbs/chemicals or whatever to cure myself more "naturally" but for the time being, I rather be an alcoholic than face each day with trauma/a total feeling of emptiness/worthlessness and/or extreme emotional pain.

 

(sorry for the rant)

[Deaden]

Yes, the anhedonia of schizophrenia is similar to the anhedonia of depression nobody said the contrary. Also, alchohol alters dopamine negatively and can be very toxic. Ketamine and LSD don't. They are safe drugs, and studies show they are beneficial for the brain. People rarely get addicted to those substances. + with mushrooms you get nearly the same effect as LSD and there's not even a potential for addiction. Do your research...

Edited by Deaden, 27 August 2017 - 10:32 PM.

[jaiho]

Indeed, long term alcohol use can actually cause anhedonia & other problems.

LSD, on the other hand, has proven to be a strong anti addiction agent, that includes alcoholism. LSD can change the way you see yourself, and life itself.

Ketamine is being used for treatment resistant depression & Anhedonia.

 

Alcohol has no medicinal qualities, at least of the mental kind.

 

[YoungSchizo]

Yes, the anhedonia of schizophrenia is similar to the anhedonia of depression nobody said the contrary. Also, alchohol alters dopamine negatively and can be very toxic. Ketamine and LSD don't. They are safe drugs, and studies show they are beneficial for the brain. People rarely get addicted to those substances. + with mushrooms you get nearly the same effect as LSD and there's not even a potential for addiction. Do your research...

 

Which part alcohol exactly causes an increase in dopamine in the brain? Is that also that part that causes hallucinations..? TBH, I've been alcoholic for 3-4-5 months but I didn't experience one single aggravation in positive symptoms or whatsoever.. Which dopamine/serotonine pathways does Ketamine/LSD/Mushrooms do affect..?! The non-hallucinogenic pathways? From my knowledge, it does quite the opposite.. (and that being the reason I am not allowed into studies into Ketamine and depression and that being the reason I am not allowed into studies into rTMS and depression.) Though let's say, if so, if so it doesn't affect the pathways of schizophrenia, I would be the first in line to treat my negative symptoms/"anhedonia" with whatever means possible. I don't mean to attack you, quite the opposite and I am quite interested.. Like you, like others whom suffer from this debilitating feeling or whatever you want to call it, I want the suffering to come to an end and like you, like others, am also looking for a long-term/permanent solution to solve this (without opening up a bottle each day).

(And on a side note: No wonder no one gets hooked on LSD or mushrooms, no one wants to go through live tripping all day. To comparising, I don't, and I think I speak for all schizophrenics, nobody wants to go tripping daily(!) through their lives!)

Edited by YoungSchizo, 27 August 2017 - 11:13 PM.

[Deaden]

...

[jaiho]

Being schizo, and with prominent positive symptoms, you have to avoid increases in limbic dopamine levels, this includes; DA agonists, Dopamine reuptake inhibitors, and maybe amphetamines & MAO-B inhibition.

 

Ketamine is a risk since it behaves as a D2 agonist. Perhaps LSD also.

Alcohol increases dopamine in the reward centre, and this is 'bad' dopamine because it's addictive and creates tolerance and reinforcement.

 

You want to increase dopamine transmission in the mesocortical pathway, which can be done with Norepinephrine reuptake inhibition & 5HT2A, 5HT2C antagonism.

Nortriptyline is a good drug to try for negative symptoms.

 

 

 

[hydrus]

Alcohol does not just affect Dopamine but also GABA. Xanax/Valium affects GABA as well so if you do well with these the problem could be GABA.

[Deaden]

Being schizo, and with prominent positive symptoms, you have to avoid increases in limbic dopamine levels, this includes; DA agonists, Dopamine reuptake inhibitors, and maybe amphetamines & MAO-B inhibition.

 

Ketamine is a risk since it behaves as a D2 agonist. Perhaps LSD also.

Alcohol increases dopamine in the reward centre, and this is 'bad' dopamine because it's addictive and creates tolerance and reinforcement.

 

You want to increase dopamine transmission in the mesocortical pathway, which can be done with Norepinephrine reuptake inhibition & 5HT2A, 5HT2C antagonism.

Nortriptyline is a good drug to try for negative symptoms.

Bad dopamine... yes like cigarettes. I just got hooked on them I made a mistake should have listened. It just made me feel so good at first, but now because of that the effects Nardil was giving me are gone, I'm sure if I succeed in quitting for some time they will come back and I read NTP happens to also help in smoking cessation. Sigh... I know mushrooms can help in quitting addictions, but do I need to trip for that? Can't I just micro dose? Also you took a psychedelic while on an MAOI? Thought it was dangerous.

[jaiho]

Nortriptyline or Wellbutrin are useful for quitting Nicotine. As well as Agmatine, L-Theanine, among other things.

Psilocybin could help with microdoses but you'd probably find most benefit having a trip, to quit any strong addiction.

 

I only tripped when i was regularly using Moclobemide, its out of your system in 24 hours so it allowed me to enjoy various substances.

 

[MichaelTheAnhedonic]

I'm soooo fucked up. Today I visited my psychiatrist. If the cause of my case is not neurological, then I'll get diagnosis - simple schizophrenia. He said that he had patients with this shit and they're not function well. FML.

[YoungSchizo]

Alcohol does not just affect Dopamine but also GABA. Xanax/Valium affects GABA as well so if you do well with these the problem could be GABA.

I react very well to GABAergics, I call Clonazepam my "primary antipsychotic" for the reason that it (in my case) helps better in controlling positive symptoms than a antipsychotic does. Without Clonazepam I would be lost and I would've still have (a lot of) positive symptoms. Also, I reacted very positive to Topamax, which also have some sort of GABAergic mechanism. Then there is alcohol which not only stimulates me and makes me happy (guess that's the dopamine part) but also works like an "antipsychotic" (it decreases psychotic thoughts, it relaxes me and decreases anxiety and I guess that's the GABAergic action).

I want to explore the GABAergic drugs more, you guys have any recommendations?

I'm soooo fucked up. Today I visited my psychiatrist. If the cause of my case is not neurological, then I'll get diagnosis - simple schizophrenia. He said that he had patients with this shit and they're not function well. FML.

What is simple schizophrenia?

[YoungSchizo]

Being schizo, and with prominent positive symptoms, you have to avoid increases in limbic dopamine levels, this includes; DA agonists, Dopamine reuptake inhibitors, and maybe amphetamines & MAO-B inhibition.

Ketamine is a risk since it behaves as a D2 agonist. Perhaps LSD also.
Alcohol increases dopamine in the reward centre, and this is 'bad' dopamine because it's addictive and creates tolerance and reinforcement.

You want to increase dopamine transmission in the mesocortical pathway, which can be done with Norepinephrine reuptake inhibition & 5HT2A, 5HT2C antagonism.
Nortriptyline is a good drug to try for negative symptoms.

Where in the brain is the reward centre? In the mPFC part that causes negative symptoms?

I'm going to push through with trying the MAOI Nardil and/or Parnate in the hopes that I might be lucky for once and doesn't cause hallucinations. Nortriptyline is also on my list of the drugs that I want to try. But after 12 years of suffering I think it's time to bring out the big guns first (the MAOI's).

[MichaelTheAnhedonic]

 

Alcohol does not just affect Dopamine but also GABA. Xanax/Valium affects GABA as well so if you do well with these the problem could be GABA.

I react very well to GABAergics, I call Clonazepam my "primary antipsychotic" for the reason that it (in my case) helps better in controlling positive symptoms than a antipsychotic does. Without Clonazepam I would be lost and I would've still have (a lot of) positive symptoms. Also, I reacted very positive to Topamax, which also have some sort of GABAergic mechanism. Then there is alcohol which not only stimulates me and makes me happy (guess that's the dopamine part) but also works like an "antipsychotic" (it decreases psychotic thoughts, it relaxes me and decreases anxiety and I guess that's the GABAergic action).

I want to explore the GABAergic drugs more, you guys have any recommendations?

I'm soooo fucked up. Today I visited my psychiatrist. If the cause of my case is not neurological, then I'll get diagnosis - simple schizophrenia. He said that he had patients with this shit and they're not function well. FML.

What is simple schizophrenia?

 

 

It's schizophrenia without positive symptoms.

[hydrus]

What is simple schizophrenia?

 

 

 

an outdated and controversial diagnosis that is sometimes given when shrinks have no clue what is going on and the patient does not fit into typical categories of mental illnesses.

[Deaden]

 

Being schizo, and with prominent positive symptoms, you have to avoid increases in limbic dopamine levels, this includes; DA agonists, Dopamine reuptake inhibitors, and maybe amphetamines & MAO-B inhibition.

Ketamine is a risk since it behaves as a D2 agonist. Perhaps LSD also.
Alcohol increases dopamine in the reward centre, and this is 'bad' dopamine because it's addictive and creates tolerance and reinforcement.

You want to increase dopamine transmission in the mesocortical pathway, which can be done with Norepinephrine reuptake inhibition & 5HT2A, 5HT2C antagonism.
Nortriptyline is a good drug to try for negative symptoms.

Where in the brain is the reward centre? In the mPFC part that causes negative symptoms?

I'm going to push through with trying the MAOI Nardil and/or Parnate in the hopes that I might be lucky for once and doesn't cause hallucinations. Nortriptyline is also on my list of the drugs that I want to try. But after 12 years of suffering I think it's time to bring out the big guns first (the MAOI's).

 

I'm curious, how are your hallucinations like? Do they scare you? Are they overwhelming or can you just not pay attention to them?

[MichaelTheAnhedonic]

 

What is simple schizophrenia?

 

 

 

an outdated and controversial diagnosis that is sometimes given when shrinks have no clue what is going on and the patient does not fit into typical categories of mental illnesses.

 

 

Yea, but I have hypofrontality and grey matter deficits - these changes are observed in this "outdated" illness.

[YoungSchizo]

 

 

Being schizo, and with prominent positive symptoms, you have to avoid increases in limbic dopamine levels, this includes; DA agonists, Dopamine reuptake inhibitors, and maybe amphetamines & MAO-B inhibition.

Ketamine is a risk since it behaves as a D2 agonist. Perhaps LSD also.
Alcohol increases dopamine in the reward centre, and this is 'bad' dopamine because it's addictive and creates tolerance and reinforcement.

You want to increase dopamine transmission in the mesocortical pathway, which can be done with Norepinephrine reuptake inhibition & 5HT2A, 5HT2C antagonism.
Nortriptyline is a good drug to try for negative symptoms.

Where in the brain is the reward centre? In the mPFC part that causes negative symptoms?

I'm going to push through with trying the MAOI Nardil and/or Parnate in the hopes that I might be lucky for once and doesn't cause hallucinations. Nortriptyline is also on my list of the drugs that I want to try. But after 12 years of suffering I think it's time to bring out the big guns first (the MAOI's).

 

I'm curious, how are your hallucinations like? Do they scare you? Are they overwhelming or can you just not pay attention to them?

 

 

My hallucinations changed (the content of the voices) over the course of the psychotic breaks I had, I suffer from psychosis only when I fall (or am) in love and/or have a relationship (fell in love 3 times, broke up 3 times, had 3 different kinds of hallucinations). I don't quite fit into the common (paranoid) schizophrenic picture according to my psychiatrists because what happens to someone who falls in love and/or is in a relationship (and/or breaks up) can be considered as having a "psychotic episode" just like "normal" people would experience falling/being in love and/or after a break-up.

When I had my first psychotic break, the voice in my head was comforting and talking about me to "others" positively, after the full-blown psychosis the voice started talking directly to me (and I was unable to distinguish it between real or fake) and it turned into PURE EVIL and DEMEANING and it was this psychosis (or that toxic person I probably can say afterwards) that totally destroyed me mentally. I was in my 20's, making myself ready for my bright future, open up a business, dropping friends/people out of my life whom were dragging me down, a stressful period from transitioning from puberty to adulthood, but at the same time enlightening. However, I was pulled into a criminal offence by my childhood girlfriend (whom was hanging out with criminal people) and I got mixed up in a conspiracy (and no, I wasn't delusional, there really was a big conspiracy going against me and her. That I wasn't delusional got confirmed by psychiatry 5-6 years after it happened. What they eventually said to me after calling me delusional/schizophrenic each time I tried to tell my story for 5-6 years, they, after another serious break-down that caused a 2 week in the psych-ward, they said: my story is impossible to be made-up but quite the contrary, quite plausible). However, she (my ex) choose the side of the ones that conspired against me. She actually was the schizophrenic among us two, she was brainwashed and thought I was a bad person even though she had known me from childhood. Anyway, in the end of the story, even though I was already psychotic for months I was able to save her sanity and make her "normal" again. By the time I broke the conspiracy that was played against us it was too late to save me, I became schizophrenic for up to 6-9 years. I couldn't let go of her or the past and what happened in the past and her demonic voice/hallucinations kinda haunted me until I moved away 7 years later to another city to start a new life. After 9 years I stepped up to a good lawyer to discuss my possibilities to sue all of the people that conspired against me but I've been told I do not make any legal chance because the criminal act was done to her and without her testimony I wouldn't make a chance to take my revenge and throw people in jail. After that I let go of her and the past and never heard her in my hallucinations again. (Until I contacted her again 11 years later with the message that I'm sorry what happened between us and wanted to talk things through, after a couple of days I briefly heard her in my hallucinations saying I am just sad, which was true btw. After that message and the hallucination that followed I became all anxious and amped-up that I decided to never ever contact her again).

 

After 9 years I fell in love again, and again I got pulled into a conspiracy again, not a conspiracy directly concerning me but my dad. Because I was not directly involved I was able to keep my focus on the girl, this time the hallucinations got another content, more mystical, more manageable, more meaningful, not condescending or evil like I experienced all of those years but they were confusing though. The voices in my head tried to make me believe that she was the girl I was going to end up marrying but with my common sense, I was reluctant. After a argument she caused a mild psychotic episode in me and I threw her out of my life. Many months later she asked for forgiveness and I allowed her in my life again, until a year later when she drove me completely crazy/psychotic again. I started hallucinating again and fell into a full-blown psychotic episode again, the hallucinations were playing tricks on me and were trying to convince me of her innocence and that she and I belong together. However at the same time I noticed that the hallucinations were dumber than usual, they were saying: "we are living inside his dreamworld". After this remark of my hallucinations I started paying more attention to the hallucinations, not long after I broke contact with this girl, the hallucinations disappeared and I was left with no more than the emotional damage she had caused.

 

Third time I fell in love (more than a year ago), the voices changed content again. I fell in love with a girl instantly, just by making eye-contact. I told her this and she also liked me but unfortunately she had a boyfriend. I went into hypomania because of what I felt for her. The build up energy caused me to go into psychosis that followed months later, but it was the most mesmerizing of all the psychosises I had to date, when I was full-blown psychotic there was an "energy from heaven" (don't know how to explain it other than that) running through me heart with the most angelic wishes possible. Days/weeks after the voices in my head were trying to convince me that what I was experiencing was not psychotic, her voice in my head was complaining to me about her relationship / her boyfriend, the voice in my head was trying to convince me that she was not happy in her current relationship. And when a voice is so convincing and continues I eventually believe some of it but it also causes me to not think straight and that eventually leads to be destructive. Anyway, I already made up my mind about this girl and pushed her away because she already was in a relationship. I had to live with hallucinations/voices again though until they revealed themselves by commenting on what was doing when I already broke all contact with her and was over her.

 

Sorry, I just felt the need to rant/vent to explain myself. What I'm trying to say with my story's is that meeting these three girls have thought me a valuable lesson about hallucinations, I've learned that whenever I'm able to let go of my past and/or outsmart a hallucination they disappear and/or they do not gain power over me (and my thoughts) and the more I fall in love with the opposite sexes the less this "curse" has and can have a hold on me. And I think that is the key that I do not suffer from positive symptoms/schizophrenia at the moment (or won't because my alcohol consumption) because I don't give the hallucinations a reason to exist. Some schizophrenics give a reason for them to exist (because they keep feeding the 'evil'), and I can consider myself lucky I'm not one of them. The last time I had a hallucination was in november '16, and I have not let a hallucination exist eversince. What bothers me, and I think I speak for anyone that has gone through a serious broken heart and/or abuse is the emotional damage someone can have on one another. And I think the consequences of a broken heart can be as crippling as experiencing negative symptoms/anhedonia/depression.