Throughout my journey these past 3 years, tapering and using benzodiazepines and other drugs, I've been using a low dose of Memantine for ~1.5 years. Liquid Memantine from Ceretropic, which is about 0.625-0.714 mg/drop. I usually took around 1-3 drops. I am taking 8 drops now, which should be around 5mg. I just want to know if anyone else has used Memantine for this long and what you guys think about the long term safety of it?
Some background info: I'm new here and I'm a drug addict. I'm trying to get my life back together, finish my degree, and achieve my goals but I have a long recovery ahead. A few months after my mother passed away from lung caner I injured myself accidentally in Nov. 2014. The injury was traumatic and gave me PTSD. I was actually struggling with chronic pain issues that entire year after learning my mother was going to die. So, I don't know what is up with my pain issues. I'm 32 by the way. I've had OCD and behavior issues my entire life. Currently, I'm tapering Librium, Suboxone, Phenibut, and Gabapentin. I make daily micro-cuts. For Gabapentin, the drops are pretty small right now because I don't want to overwhelm myself. As of today I'm on about 9.8mg of Librium, 0.59mg Suboxone, 555mg Phenibut, and 1525mg of Gabapentin. I'm worried about my Gabapentin dose but cannot really address it until I quit Librium and Suboxone. I'm angry that my doctor put me on 1800mg of Gabapentin. It wasn't necessary and I was too inebriated to make decisions at the time about my medications and health. He is an addictionologist. I ended up hospitalized twice during the past 3 years. The first time against my will. I went to an IOP meeting and the nurse called the police because I said I wanted to punch my father over a trivial argument I had involving 5 gallon buckets. I had a rage problem after quitting clonazepam and switching to Librium. I quit phenibut that day at the IOP meeting and switched to baclofen (10mg x 3) and was a mess. I forgot to take my afternoon dose of baclofen. I was also tapering kratom (~12g) and dealing with my clonazepam to Librium cross-over WD, and who knows what else. I got sent to the worst psychiatrist hospital in America I think. Complete nightmare. I didn't belong there. I just said something stupid and someone took it the wrong way and that is all it took.
So, I get these big oval, white 600mg Gabapentin tablets that each weigh about 1g....so I pulverize some in a mortar and pestle. I reduce 15mg of Phenibut and 15mg of this Gabapentin powder daily. I've been on Suboxone for 3 months. For the third time in my life. I'm lowering the 2mg films by 0.015625mg a day. I empty out the 5mg Librium capsule's and they weigh 0.165g each. So, I lower 7mg of this dreaded Librium powder daily. I hold the doses when necessary. I also take 1g of aniracetam, 20mg of noopept, and 15mg of fasoracetam once in the morning with black coffee blended in coconut oil. I usually never redose any racetams. The fasoracetam helps the phenibut taper because I do not notice phenibut withdrawal. I also take 150-180mg of Emoxypine once daily. I take an array of supplements, most from Thorne Research. Sometimes I will not take any supplements when I feel like my body does not need them, based on digestion issues. I've been doing yoga everyday and this has been the biggest game changer for me. I meditate as well everyday but not enough, I need to meditate more. It is hard to focus for long periods of time.
