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Depersonalized 6+ years, improves slightly on period (detox?)

depersonalization prozac detox anhedonia

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#1 anhedonic56

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Posted 06 December 2017 - 03:11 AM


Hi guys,

 

I've been depersonalized for a little over 6 years now. It was triggered by prozac, and I was going through a really stressful time when it happened. I became deeeeply dissociated, like I couldn't even compose a facebook status for a while. I was on the prozac for just a couple of weeks before it happened. At first I started to feel good on the prozac, then it was like the stuff just kept building up in my system and I started feeling weird, kinda floaty and high or something, and one day I just dissociated - I remember this big grin spread across my face, and then I was gone.

 

I got a little better a few years later when I took ecstasy once - it was like it brought me back in touch with a part of myself that I had lost, and it PERMANENTLY lifted part of the DP veil. After that I felt a lot more present, though still DP'd, which makes me think my DP could just be stress-related/psychological. However, the weird thing is I sometimes feel less DP'd when I'm on my period. Only on the first day. I'll feel much clearer, less anxious, more present, have more energy, just more "in my body"/like my energy is flowing more normally - though the DP doesn't totally lift or anything. The ONLY times I have ever fully come out of this were during a very long withdrawal from klonopin that I went through last year. I came out of this 3 different times, ONLY on the first day of my period. Each time, I got my period at night, and when I woke up the next morning, I was back: colors were bright, world was 3D, I could recognize my reflection, my internal monologue had been switched back on, I had FEELINGS, etc. etc. But then I went to sleep, woke up the next day, and was gone again - or would be on my way back to being fully DP'd. Also, I didn't JUST repersonalize on those days - it was like my entire body started working better. My metabolism seemed to speed up, I didn't have cravings for caffeine (which I was drinking at the time), my palms were sweaty (made me realize my skin is always super dry), and yeah...I think there were other things, but can't remember it all - basically, it was like my body and brain just came back to life. I also remember feeling, the third time I repersonalized, like something had been "blocking" my energy flow and it had been released on my period - that was just the feeling that I had. 

 

So this does make me wonder if there's something else going on. Why do I get better when I'm bleeding heavily? Am I detoxing something out of my system? Do I have too much serotonin, or too much estrogen (which could be blocking my thyroid and causing DP-ish symptoms as well as physical problems), or what? It could even be heavy metal toxicity or something.

 

Anyway, the last time I repersonalized was the beginning of this year, and I haven't really gotten anywhere since then. I've been seeing an energy healer, which has been interesting, and sometimes I feel a lot calmer and more "in my body" after the sessions, but I haven't repersonalized from them. Was just wondering if anyone here has any thoughts on this. My diet is clean, I'm not on any meds since I react horribly to everything, no caffeine, no alcohol.

 

I posted about this in the Genetics section too in case someone thought this could have something to do with mutations (I just had 23andme done and have a bunch of homozygous mutations that interfere with things like estrogen and neurotransmitter detox, so...), but yeah, thought I should post here as well...

 

I'm going to see a medical intuitive to see if she has any ideas. Might sound silly, but I'm mostly curious to see if an intuitive would think that that this is a physical problem or just psychological. I get confused about how to approach all of this.


Edited by anhedonic56, 06 December 2017 - 03:16 AM.


#2 Mind_Paralysis

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Posted 06 December 2017 - 12:50 PM

The fact that you seem to get a bit better during your period is a bit curious... however, I wouldn't connect that to detoxing or anything like that - for some people, period causes quite a bit of temporary alterations to MULTIPLE hormonal systems - it could be connected to any one of those changes.

 

The way you got DP/DR-ed sounds rather standard though - extreme stress, and then use of a drug (in this case an SSRI). As such, I'm still going to suggest the same things I suggest to everyone with DP/DR, since it's the only thing with any half-decent evidence backing it:

 

Lamotrigine (glutamate modulator)

Kappa antagonism (decreasing activity of a specific opioid receptor)

 

Both the opioidergic and glutamatergic networks are the ones that seem to have the most evidence implicating their involvement of the basis of DP/DR - there's something there, that's why regular antidepressants don't really work - they don't affect those systems.

 

You can't use opioids off the street though... that will just make it worse - there's a very specific receptor implicated - the KAPPA receptor! (regular opioids, like heroin, only affect the delta and mu -receptors - that won't work)

The Kappa receptor controls feelings of punishment, in contrast to the other receptors whom control feelings of reward. The difference is quite stark, if you think about it.

 

I recommend that you combine Lamotrigine with a kappa antagonist - there's only one that's really available through the health care systems, and that's the combination of two drugs, which when combined, becomes a kappa antagonist:

 

Naltrexone + Buprenorphine.

 

https://en.wikipedia...hine/naltrexone

 

There are, however, several other kappa antagonists in existence, and Buprenorphine can even be combined with another medication as well, Samidorphan, to get a similar result - CERC-501 is an experimental drug, currently in trials for DP/DR, and other things, which is highly selective for the Kappa receptor. We had a group buy of that one a few months back, but the results reported were quite mixed - still, there's rumblings of another group buy in the works, by the user "Deaden", so a shot at trying the drug again, might be in the works. It's safer if you try to get Naltrexone+Buprenorphine prescribed via your Dr.'s instead though.

 

 

Those are your best bets for getting out of DP/DR - otherwise... time. It's been proven that unlike depression, DP/DR is often a time-limited state - most people only suffer it for less than a year, a few months at most, then they come out of it. (in theory, because their life-situation changes, there's less stress and trauma, and then the self-protecting state of DP/DR is shut off) Some have it for years, but eventually come out of it - others... well, for a very select few, it can take 20-30 years... by then, they might have killed themselves. That's excessively UNlikely though - that's an extremely small amount of people with DP/DR.

 

Considering you've had it for 6 years though, I can see how it would be preferable to try the above drugs instead - I'd do it too.



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#3 BioHacker=Life

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Posted 14 December 2017 - 08:37 AM

Intranasal naloxone is your best approach.







Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: depersonalization, prozac, detox, anhedonia

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