During my late high school career i was using alot of drugs. Anything and everything you could think of but mainly stimulants. I did alot of what i thought to be MDMA, i guess it could have been anything and took a good bit of adhd medicine (whatever i could find) including vyvanse, adderall, ritalin, ect. for school purposes and just in general to make me feel good. Note that i was never prescribed it or diagnosed with adhd so had no reason to be taking it.I stated to develop a bit of a habit. I was an avid pot smoker and drank about every weekend. I started to notice myself changing but was unaware that this was why. I was so caught up in getting fucked up nothing else mattered. I didnt think anything would huurt me. Man was i wrong. I started to develop very bad attitude problems, and got mean. Things really changed after graduating and starting a community college. I consistantly bought adderall/vyvanse from friends for the first semester which was probably about six months and took it probably 3-4 times a week. Ranging from all mg levels that are prescribed. After that first semester i felt sick. Sick mentally and physically. i quit everything, began eating right, and taking supplements. after about three months i felt better but never returned to my older self. After a while i began smoking pot again and also drinking. I was able to function but not well and was still not happy like i used to be prior to any drug use. I didnt realize the toll drugs had taken on me. eventally i decided to take a couple grams of mushrooms. I ate about 2.8g of mushroom one night, had a very uncomfortable trip, and have not been right since. I declined mentally afterwards, and did not sleep for three weeks. I think the mushrooms must have exacerbated the damage from drugs but i am not sure. Before the stims i was pretty heavy on mdma on the weekends with my friends. I would snort anywhere from .5- maybe a gram and a half over an entire night, drink lots of alchohol and stay up all night. Thats where my problems started but it really all set in after the daily stim use, and then after my mushroom trip it feels like i have just been in a hole mentally ever since
Since then i have been stuggling with Memory problems, what i think to be adrenal fatigue, vision problems, anhedonia, lack of personality, irritation, i cant sleep good at all anymore (its just not a good deep sleep anymore), i have a hard time remembering what i just did, thinking things through, i have no sense of how i feel or what i want, cant decide between two things, experience no pleasure, cant make rational decisions, have no motivation or drive to do anything, have a very hard time reading a book or following a movie anymore, lack of awarness and also explaining myself. I eat so much food anymore and cannot get satisfied. I dont enjoy hanging out or converssating with others anymore and feel like an alien. i also have a hard time with decision making, critical thinking, and planning.bing eating and drinking coffee, and worrying about things that do not matter. i have no drive to do anything
After hours and hours of searching around and reading up on things i beleive this to be brain damage caused by amphetimines/stimulants and drugs in general. Im 19 years old and feel like im 80. It feels like their is a big hole in my head and all i want to do is somehow get back to the old me. I was eating a totally paleo diet, and taking a good bit of supplements including
1 b supreme (b complex)
100mg of magnesium glycinate Complex
30mg of zinc
2000 iu of vitamin D
A good fish oil supplement- been playing with dosages
300mg of uridine
500mg of alpha gpc
annd lions mane
I quit taking this for fear of excess that i could be getting from food although i find it hard to stick to a raw unprocessesed diet anymore and end up binging out all day on coffee and on sweet foods all night to the point i cant sleep. I have a very hard time sleeping anyway anymore and whenever i am not able to sleep at night is when i fall off and start binging. i will drink so much coffee with no sleep that i feel sick the rest of the next day. I also have a very hard time making decisions and using self control.
Im wondering if i should be taking any of the supplements listed above, maybe excluding or changing my choline and uridine supplements as they made me feel bad. Im also wondering if caffiene is okay or if i should stay away from it. should i be able to get everything i need from a raw unprocessed diet as long as i can get back and stick to it? i really just need some guidance. How much of these supplements should i be taking?