about a year ago after eating a couple grams of mushrooms I started to experience severe anhedonia and depression after not sleeping for three weeks. Before any of this i need to point out i was a heavy drug abuser in high school. I had never been diagnosed with adhd but frequently took any meds I could find to get through highschool while combining it with various amounts of pot, cigarettes , mdma, and alchohol. I would take vyvanse, adderall, ritalin, chug coffee and chain smoke ciggarettes because it made me feel good. Not long after i was introduced to mdma and started snorting and eating copious amounts of mdma more and more occasionally with my friends, at parties, and eventually combining it with alchohol. I started to notice myself changing and happiness fading away, but was to caught up in everything to link it to drug abuse.
After highschool i went on to college, and began using prescrition stimulants more frequently(4-5) times a week combined with coffee all day in order to do school work, feel good, ect. After my first semester i began to feel sick physically and mentally. I started ragin out more and was overall unhappy and kindof a differnt person. My mother brought me to this homeopathic doctor/chiropractor who put me on the AIP diet, and put me on vitamin supplements. At this point i had sobered up quit everything and was trying my hardest to get better.I did this for about three months and was feeling better, but never fully recovered mentally, physically or emotionally. I quit school and moved out and soon began drinking and smoking pot heavily again. eventually i figured what i needed was a trip and i had never eaten mushrooms so decided to do so. The first time i didnt eat much, and not much really happened. The second time i ate 2.8 g crushed up in some applesauce, had a very intense trip, and then was just simply not able to get to sleep for three weeks after. I think it exacerbated my problems, brought them to the surface, or caused extra damage mentally. now after about 2- 2 and a half years, im still trying to recover, but find myself in a pit of depression and anhedonia, and unable to stick to a routine which will grant me recovery and wellness. Here are my symptoms and what i struggle with.
I can tell it if I drink large amounts of caffeine or sweet foods due to poor brain functioning, but just in general i have a hard time doing things like reading, keeping up a conversation, comprehending and thinking quickly compared to before. My perception is nowhere what it used to be, almost feels like im in a hole or have gone "blind" mentally. Can't remember what I just did, Hard time remembering highschool, and childhood, Have no sense of how I feel or what I want, Feel like there is a hole in my head, Can't judge or make rational decisions, No motivation, When I try to read something I can't remember and have a hard time comprehending, lack of Awareness, Adrenal fatigue,inability to focus, Nervous system feels like it’s in high gear: jump whenever anyone enters the room, Can get good sleep, hard time falling asleep, Can’t react correctly or quick enough to situations,enviornment does not stimulate me, Careless/reckless actions, hard time making decisions and choices, Hard time sticking to job, school,and routine No motivation, Can’t feel emotion, and Hard time explaining myself, overthinking, ocd, anxiety(but i cant feel it), im akward, depression/anhedonia, ect.
For about a year off and on since the mushrooms, I have been trying to recover with diet and exercise but have a hard time sticking to any routine. Its hard for me to conversate alot of times, its like i dont have the brain capacity to function. If I drink coffee which I’m very tempted to do everyday, I’ll find myself up for days binging on junk food one thing after another behind the computer screen until I’m so stuffed I contemplate throwing up because I just can’t get satisfied. Getting drunk does not even feel good to me anymore. ive gotten sober and tried to pretty much stay sober since everything that happened with the mushrooms last year.
I’m weary about taking medicine as I feel it could hinder the healing process or make my situation worse. I cant stop binge eating junk food and drinking coffee. I constantly feel i need some sort of stimulation or pleasure. about to see a doctor and have a full thyroid panel done, get testosterone tested, and ask about a saliva test and some other thing.
Im not sure whether to begin trying nootropics or anti depressants. . I have considered trying the mr happy stack (uridine, dha, vit e, and a multi) and then adding choline in. I fear for taking psych meds as i may never get off of them and also because im not exactly sure whther my problem is adrenal fatigue, or nuerotoxicity. Ive also looked into trying A carnivore diet.
I just want to feel the world again and have my awareness back.Has anyone else struggled with something similiar? I worry i have unrepairable brain damage. any information, advice, or stories that anyone can provide would be greatly appreciated. Im ready to get out of this hole any way i can I just want my brain to function completely like it used to.Im currently stuck in a cycle where i will eat healthy for a couple days and then fall off and binge on sugar and cafiene, yet im desensitized to both. I dont feel hunger anymore, just a need to fill my stomach to feel some sort of pleasure.
. Ive switched around from fasting, omad, keto , paleo but never stuck with a diet for an extended period of time . The longest i followed was strict paleo for three months which had me feeling really good. A lot of people have been mentioning trying an all meat diet, and getting a high amount of nutrients from organ meats and primarily liver. It supposedly has been very effective for allergies and depression. Although my mind switches back and forth and its hard for me to make it up and stick with my decisions.
life feels fake to me. Life feels broken, like my controller does not work. I have had many people tell me that if i can maintain a healthy scheduale for a couple years it will get better , but i am not sure how to do it. Im worried for my health but struggle with self control.
Can adrenal fatigue be this severe? Does anyone have a similar experience/story? Sorry for the long post just wanted to share my story. Feel free to leave me advice or thoughts about it. I know its pretty fucked up but its alright. Its going to get better .
I was wondering what the quickest and most effective way of healing my adrenal glands would be. I know to avoid caffeine and sugar, but as far as diet, supplements, and anything else that would help, any information would be greatly appreciated.
I know that fasting causes a stress on the adrenals, but would drinking salt water of sodium, potassium, baking soda, and epsom salt help to lower cortisol levels and would the autophagy be beneficial for healing these glands, or should i stay away from fasting completely