About a year ago after eating a couple grams of mushrooms I started to experience severe anhedonia and depression after not sleeping for three weeks from what I think was caused by heavy drug abuse in high school. I had never been diagnosed with adhd but frequently took any meds I could find to get through highschool while combining it with various amounts of pot, cigarettes , mdma, and alchohol. I started to notice myself changing and happiness fading away but was to caught up in everything to link it to drug abuse. Mushrooms made me realize this but also triggered my anhedonia. I can tell it if I drink large amounts of caffeine or sweet foods due to brain functioning, but just in general i have a hard time doing things like reading, keeping up a conversation, comprehending and thinking quickly ect.. Over time my perception of life kind of started to fade. After eating these mushrooms I started to have or realize my symptoms as I think they were exacerbated. My symptoms felt very strange at first but have become somewhat normalized as ive been this way for a long time and have a hard time remembering what things used to be like but some things i struggle with are:
Can't remember what I just did, Hard time remembering highschool, and childhood, Have no sense of how I feel or what I want, Feel like there is a hole in my head, Can't judge or make rational decisions, No motivation, When I try to read something I can't remember and have a hard time comprehending, lack of Awareness, Adrenal fatigue, Nervous system feels like it’s in high gear: jump whenever anyone enters the room, Can get good sleep, hard time falling asleep, Can’t react correctly or quick enough to situations, Careless/reckless actions, hard time making decisions and choices, Hard time sticking to job, school, routine No motivation, Can’t feel emotion, and Hard time explaining myself. For about a year I have been trying to recover with diet and exercise but have a hard time sticking to any routine. If I drink coffee which I’m very tempted to do everyday I’ll find myself up for days binging on junk food one thing after another behind the computer screen until I’m so stuffed I contemplate throwing up because I just can’t get satisfied. Getting drunk does not even feel good to me anymore. My doctor has supposedly referred me to a psych that specializes in younger people, although I’m weary about taking medicine as I feel it could hinder the healing process or make my situation worse. Lately i havent been able to stick to a good routine at all. I cant stop binge eating junk food and drinking coffee. I constantly feel i need some sort of stimulation or pleasure. Im having a hard time getting into see a doctor. Im not sure whether to begin trying nootropics or anti depressants. Which do you think would be more effective.
Has anyone else struggled with something similiar? any information, advice, or stories that you are able to provide would be greatly appreciated. Im ready to get out of this hole any way i can I just want my brain to function completely like it used to.
i cant stick to a clean diet and exercise because i have been binging on extreme amounts of junk food and i just crave some form of pleasure whenever i try anymore. i continue to try but its like ive dug myself even further with my eating habits and im worried if i dont do something im going to die of horrible diseases. I binge to the point my stomach hurts and i try to purge it, but nothing comes out. I eat to the point i cant sleep because my stomach is so full. I also crave coffee every day. If i have one cup that leads to a couple and even one cup causes me to not sleep all night... yet i still crave it. I cant adjust to my situation. Im not sure what to do but if there was some kind of nootropic that could give me like a sort of helping hand so i could feel pleasure and not feel the need to binge, or to help me sleep and wake up feeling refreshed, i feel i could maintain a healthy diet, excercise and sleeping scheduale.
