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Suggestions for Anhedonia / Apathy?

mental health anhedonia

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#1 Skooma

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Posted 04 February 2020 - 08:12 PM

Hi there guys, I've come here asking for assistance after a long time of lurking and reading because I know some of you guys are incredibly well-read regarding these topics at hand. 


My situation is becoming increasingly desperate. 

I've always struggled with mental health issues but it feels like I'm getting to the end of my tether. 

The mental health professionals I have seen believe I may be on the bipolar spectrum, but I, myself cannot really say; I benefit more from lithium and lamotrigine a great deal but suffer from increased impulsivity and emotional instability when placed on SSRIs. 


I have tried an incredible array of medications and very rarely do they help. 


It's always the same for me, when I'm depressed it is a very 'atypical' type of depression, not sad and despairing but apathetic and ambivalent. But this issue now extends to euthymic periods too, and it's honestly ruining my life. 

I don't particularly display pleasure seeking behaviours, I'm an outsider amongst my friends in that I don't really listen or derive pleasure from music - when I was younger I used to get goosebumps and become enthused by music, over the years it's slowly become an absence of any pleasure.


Even when I'm arguably 'happy' I'm still apathetic to the point of feeling suicidal. 


In social situations much of my emotional state feels imitated or 'fake'. Laughing at jokes feels more like I'm laughing by habit, a fake plastic type of emotionality that I feel as though I'm assuming should be there. I know that sounds very peculiar and weird but it's the only way I can describe it. 

I also have lost nearly all of my libido, sexual pleasure and drive. Akin to how some members of the PSSD communities perhaps describe their problems. 

Interesting I also lost a great degree of my sense of smell, it's very 'shaky', some times my sense of smell is very strong and i feel as though I can smell everything around me and then for weeks or months of the time I will sporadically loose it, to a degree where I will struggle to smell even strong foods. 


I am at a point in my life where I am considering whether or not it is worth continuing to live in this state - I am beginning to wonder whether or not this is something completely unrelated to being on the bipolar spectrum


Medications/supplements that have had an positive/negative impact in the past seem to share dopamine as a commonality amongst them. 

Buproprion had a shortlived but positive effect on nearly all aspects; hedonic tone, activity levels, motivation, socialisation

D2 affecting anti-psychotics nearly all universally induced a state of extreme suicidal dysphoria 

Aripiprazole; caused dysphoria but restored much of my sexual function, from one singluar dose this effect was noticed. Some 4-5 days after the dose a mild recovery from anhedonia was experienced, this effect was lost 48 hours later. 


I was a fool in my youth and abused a lot of cathinone stimulants when I was in my teenage years (during the 4mmc era in the UK) Whether or not this has caused a problem, I do not know. I was never addicted or dependent nor a daily user, just a heavy weekend user. 

My grandfather was also schizophrenic and I had a pretty rough childhood dealing with a lot of violence. 


Is it possible this is just some bizarre prodrome of Parksinons? Or is this just a natural progression of bipolar in some individuals? 


I'm willing to accept that there is probably no answer or that it's just my 'lot' in life I just wanted to know the opinions of the members here. 



#2 gamesguru

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Posted 05 February 2020 - 12:27 AM

magnesium, turmeric, Red ginseng all show effects at the dopamine and glutamate sites.  They've helped many

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