When you have children, you may answer this quetion a bit differently.
Ha Ha, Ha Ha and another...Ha.
I have two teenagers, a boy 14 and a girl 16, who are 18 months apart in age. They alternate between driving me crazy with the absolute selfishness of the young and providing me with a feeling of reward that only a parent that worries and works to raise their children could know. They are much better kids than I deserve and they have helped me to define myself. They are priceless gifts.
My life includes my children now but it is not limited by them. They are part of who I am. I'm a father. I was also a son and I'm also a husband. I'm a worker, a music maker, a learner and a teacher and many other things besides. Who I am is always more than the the sum of these many parts. The main point I was making, that I have found 'doing what's good for others' is 'usually good for me' was in part taught to me by my children. But really it was something I finally learned from interacting with the world at large, for most of my life, from a point of ego. In that I mean caring much more about myself and what mattered to me rather than what mattered to anyone or anything else. I found that without a doubt, in the long run, this type of 'being' or exsistance did not work to make me happy, healthy or sound in mind. Actually, in my experience, my complete ego caused my complete isolation from humanity and filled me with frustration, loneliness and profound sadness. I only interacted at a shallow, selfish, 'phony' level with other people because I thought I was much better or smarter than them or that I was completely beneath them. I either needed them or they needed me. Deflation of my ego has resulted in my awareness that I'm just about like everyone else, no better, no worse. My relationships are based on me interacting with, whomever I like and sharing myself with them, while not being afraid that they are any better or worse than me. The people and things I have to interact with as part of my day to day business life are always a little easier to take when I try to understand where the other side/person is coming from. Not that I'm perfect at that. Far from it!! It's just that now, as opposed to the past, I'm willing to keep trying to be less selfish. Progress as opposed to perfection. A life based only on self will or 'ego' did not work for me. Some people are no doubt much better in directing their ego's than I. I'm glad to have found what makes being human so very rewarding in the first place. Heck, that's what immortailty is all about for me. I'm a slow learner and would like a looooooooong time cause the more I learn, the better it be.














