47 replies to this topic

[jaiho]

Maybe...

 

The weird thing is that I react positive to low dose venlafaxine and methylphenidate.

 

Why you taking low doses? Negative symptoms are best reduced by anti depressants and augmentations.

Venlafaxine + methylphenidate at the right doses can create a big impact on anhedonia. If not successful, add mirtazapine or manserin.

sometimes 300+mg of venlafaxine is required, along with the 45-60mg nASSA med.

[ThreeKings12341]

 

 

I know that simple schizo reacts to aripiprazole but you must wait for the effects up to 1 year. This diagnosis is most probable in my case. I have frontal atrophy, cerebellum atrophy and general grey matter deficits. Thanks life, you're awesome.

 

did u read somehwere if the negative symptoms go away also?

 

 

There's no positive symptoms in this type.

 

true , didnt read properly

[Deaden]

Thanks for all the replies guys.

I would like to reply to all the replies but I really don't have the mental energy for it at the moment so it will be something for later. I do have a need to post this post because it's on my mind a lot.

The more I think about my situation, the more I think I suffer from simple type schizophrenia, I seem to be afflicted with almost all negative symptoms.. I've never had any of the positive symptoms.

I know a lot of the negative symptoms do overlap with things like depression, dysthymia etc. but the fact I can't remember being much different than I am now. I do remember I used to anticipate to things more when I was a kid. But I don't remember much of my youth either..

I've had another intake assessment last Friday in the process of being diagnosed. I'm going to participate in a couple of tests this month. In the first week of Oktober they hope to be able to diagnose me.

I've ordered the MAO-I moclobemide. I still have my citalopram medication. I'm definitely going to try what jaiho posted. I also am using NSI-189 for a couple of days, but so far I haven't felt any difference but I am especially putting some hope in the improved neurogenesis. I do seem to feel a little bit more calm though, but I don't know if that's because the NSI.

I know I shouldn't jump to conclusions too soon, especially without an official diagnosis but I've somehow 'feel' it's something that can't be treated well. I've been so indifferent to everything for as long as I can remember, can't attach to people, have weak emotions especially the positive ones, lack affective empathy etc. I really doubt something can change this and the idea I'm stuck this way while 95% of the people on Earth take the aspects I never experienced for granted. I've been this way for so long, this is my baseline and I don't know better.

Strange thing is I can feel jealousy VERY strong. Last night I thought about my ex moving on and kissing with another man and I had a very strong jealous response: I've felt a strong adrenaline rush troughout my heart, heavy stomach and I felt hopeless. I can't feel love but I still think about her a lot. I had these strong jealousy responses before I used NSI btw. Thing is: most emotions are absent. Why can I feel jealousy SO strong? And why does music give my an emotional response?

Things like the jealousy make my think I suffer from narcissist personality disorder (covert), because I can't seem to love HER but the memories we shared (narcisstic supply). She could make me feel good when we cuddled etc. and I enjoyed activities we did together. I even cried when she arranged something special for my birthday. Does this make sense? Am I overthinking things? I sure don't feel grandiose or manipulate people though. But I could think positively about my ex when everything went well, but in situations I felt she wasn't honest I could be a little bit passive agressive.

I've been reading so much about all the possible labels I get tired of it. Some labels do resemblence my symptoms but also symptoms which are not. As I said earlier a lot of things overlap. I sometimes do think I'm a sociopath, but things like depression can also cause sociopathic traits.

The only thing that pushes my trough this situation is the idea I somehow someday may be able to experience all those things I cannot now. My life now just has no purpose.. I don't want to be alone, but when I'm with people I'm not fully able to connect. I do make jokes and it raises my mood but the lack of empathy and emotional bond results in artificial relationships and give no satisfaction...

I'll stop rambling for now.

Wow...that was exactly me in the beginning when I first developed anhedonia. Analyzing every of my actions and thoughts trying to diagnose myself with an antisocial personality disorder, reading articles about it for hours a day never being sure if I was a narcissist or sociopath. Everyone was telling me I wasn't, but I had not heard about anhedonia before and could relate to some of the symptoms, except the most prominent ones like manipulation and feeling superior. Think it took me like two months to be convinced I wasn't that. Then I notice I had memory problems, aphantasia etc, was sure it was the result brain damage that would ultimately develop into dementia long term. Again, it took me a while to be certain that my brain wasn't harmed. I learned it was all from anhedonia induced by chronic stress. The first six months of when my anhedonia set in was highly stressful and very unhealthy. Thinking I had a personality disorder that would stay permanently, then brain damage, and when I finally learned I had anhedonia, doubting if I would ever get my emotions and life back reading all those despairing comments from people with this condition. All that just made me very defeatist and hopeless for a while, but no... that's just not who I am inside. I have dreams, ambitions and will not have my life ruined by this. I kept going on with my excessive research and understood that most people who have had anhedonia for years, never really tried good treatments. So I informed myself on what could be effective for me reading about what worked for others and I could try. In a way I'm a cheater, some have gotten their anhedonia way earlier than me and had to study the science behind everything on their own, they adapted to their time when they could only rely on themselves. I guess that's intelligence, adaptation. I've been anhedonic for a year now, and feel much closer to getting my emotions back than ever. Before I couldn't stop doubting on what my problem was, then everything took awfully slow to advance, not anymore.

 

My point is your worries aren't unfounded, they make sense or we wouldn't have obsessed over it both... but I'm going to save you some time. You don't have a personality disorder, you have anhedonia. I guess it took you way longer than me to search for a way out once for all, but that may have to do because you were younger when it set in and didn't realize you were anhedonic. Or maybe because I have a more introspective and obsessive personality. Now that you are trying good meds, that's the first step for you to partial recovery. I will also tell you this. You're not the only one that can feel jealousy without emotions. My girlfriend has like thirty beta males hitting on her on social media I can't tolerate it, but at the same time it makes me feel kind of human and motivates me to do what it takes to keep her I like it. Having a girl that cares for you truly helps, she will make you feel less lonely and worry free. Maybe find a new one? Also, about NSI... personally it took a month for it to kick in last time I tried it so just wait a little before coming up to conclusions. The best advices I could give you are: don't overthink, be positive and be patient with meds. Remember that stress is bad.

Edited by Deaden, 03 September 2017 - 05:22 PM.

[Referer]

I hope you're right Deaden..

[Deaden]

Hope I was able to help, at least a little bit. Really wished someone told me all that when at my worse, doubting about everything... Trust me I went trough that same phase of questioning if there was any hope for me. It lasted months and was obsessing over it, my negativity was high which was all very unhealthy. Although at least it made came up with some real answers at the end. There is hope, it's all because of anhedonia. Find a way out, and everything will go back to normal, kind of.

Edited by Deaden, 04 September 2017 - 09:30 AM.

[Deaden]

Who down voted my comments? I'll assume it's butthurt_Twindaddy37. Pretty sure I helped with OP's worries and none was ill informed. People making war with irrelevant down votes is such a sad thing to witness. Grow up.

[Referer]

I had tests for about 3 hours today, they were mostly for memory, visuals, logic, language, intelligence etc. The 26th I have an other hour long test and the day after another 3 hour long test for personality etc. A couple of days after that they hope to give me my results and diagnosis.

Since I didn't receive the results I don't know how I scored but I assuke everything went well. The only thing I struggled with was putting a longer string of words and numbers in order with the numbers at first. She told me for example 8hfj3bf and I had to memorize it an put it in order 38bffhj. 4 symbols were easy, but 5 and mire was a real struggle. I think that's because I can't visualize so I can't see it beforr my and arrange it in my head. Same thing for an advanced object. They could the object in 3 pieces and I had to pick 3 out of 6 to create that object.

After the tests I went to the shopping mall to purchase some socks for football. Being there for about the 5th time in my life I still managed to get lost. It occured to me I'm terrible at directions. I can navigate perfectly in my hometown but struggle almost everywhere else.

When I took the train back I really felt bad about all of my shortcomings. I am suffering from aphantasia, anhedonia (last time I felt quite happy was with my ex, and only when with her without her I was empty too), avolition, terrible at directions, can't form attachments, almost no emotion, inattention (never really alert, always missing pieces of story in movies/series, terrible at remembering names, no drive to take responsibilty fot my own, no affective empathy and I could go on.

I've only had aphantasia or terrible at navigating or remembering names I wouldn't complain. Most people have none of these or perhaps one, why do I have to suffer from all of these?

Fuck this shit man, I'll keep on trying things and perhaps hope one day I can actually enjoy life instead of just surviving. Sure I'm told I'm good looking, I'm good at sports, am intelligent etc. But what does it offer me when I'm so impaired, especially socially...

I had to post this because I'm really fed up at the moment.

[Deaden]

I had tests for about 3 hours today, they were mostly for memory, visuals, logic, language, intelligence etc. The 26th I have an other hour long test and the day after another 3 hour long test for personality etc. A couple of days after that they hope to give me my results and diagnosis.

Since I didn't receive the results I don't know how I scored but I assuke everything went well. The only thing I struggled with was putting a longer string of words and numbers in order with the numbers at first. She told me for example 8hfj3bf and I had to memorize it an put it in order 38bffhj. 4 symbols were easy, but 5 and mire was a real struggle. I think that's because I can't visualize so I can't see it beforr my and arrange it in my head. Same thing for an advanced object. They could the object in 3 pieces and I had to pick 3 out of 6 to create that object.

After the tests I went to the shopping mall to purchase some socks for football. Being there for about the 5th time in my life I still managed to get lost. It occured to me I'm terrible at directions. I can navigate perfectly in my hometown but struggle almost everywhere else.

When I took the train back I really felt bad about all of my shortcomings. I am suffering from aphantasia, anhedonia (last time I felt quite happy was with my ex, and only when with her without her I was empty too), avolition, terrible at directions, can't form attachments, almost no emotion, inattention (never really alert, always missing pieces of story in movies/series, terrible at remembering names, no drive to take responsibilty fot my own, no affective empathy and I could go on.

I've only had aphantasia or terrible at navigating or remembering names I wouldn't complain. Most people have none of these or perhaps one, why do I have to suffer from all of these?

Fuck this shit man, I'll keep on trying things and perhaps hope one day I can actually enjoy life instead of just surviving. Sure I'm told I'm good looking, I'm good at sports, am intelligent etc. But what does it offer me when I'm so impaired, especially socially...

I had to post this because I'm really fed up at the moment.

I had those tests too about ten months ago... after two weeks of them assessing my results all they came up with was that I had above average IQ, strong memory impairments and was suffering from anxiety and depression. They said I was anxious probably because they couldn't explain my DP symptoms even though on the questionnaire they should have concluded I wasn't an anxious person at all. Then when I asked about my anhedonia: "we definitely think you have some depression as well, it's best you see a therapist". That night I made holes in my room's door...the frustration was too much. I knew it was going to be a waste of money but my parents insisted on it. Honestly I would have ten times preferred they just said sorry we do not know what you have, then acting like they do and giving me a **** diagnosis.

Anyway I wouldn't expect too much from it. 

 

All your symptoms, I have the exact same. I can recognize myself in everything you're describing. It seems your life is almost a mirror of mine at this point.

Please join our anhedonia discord: https://discord.gg/3Tn9R6A We talk about our experiences, treatments: what is effective or not, everything we know... By getting together we can be more productive at achieving remission.

[Referer]

Can you explain your memory impairments Deaden?

Yeah it sucks big time. Like we're only using 20% of our brain.

I've joined the discord chat, thanks.

[Deaden]

My memory is bad and in a strange way. I also have trouble remembering names, but it's not like the information is gone in my mind. One day I'll remember, an other day I won't, or the next day after that I will. It's random, not like amnesia. I do get lost easily as well. It's like I'm always in my mind and not procession the information of the outside world correctly. I don't feel disconnected from my surroundings, but I don't feel connected to them either. I have absolutely no sense of time, don't know if you can relate. If I remember a memory of a week ago, my brain has to reason with clues to guess the date, but I have no natural sense of internal clock. All my memories feel very distant. I have aphantasia too. I'd say all this is very annoying but I can get myself to ignore it. As long as I tell myself that once my anhedonia is treated my DP symptoms will go away as well. It was much more bothering when I thought I had some form of brain damage though but it took me a long time and stressing over it to figure out I didn't.

[Rick05]

No, you don't even seem that depressed. You do get strong emotions, they just aren't positive. Sorry for a typical depression related quesiton but, how do you feel about hope? Like remember the last time hope influenced you somewhat? Perspective of a change like changing your job or environment, where lets say you bought a lottery ticket and eagerly awaited to see the results? Or when you found the girl you liked and got her number and immediately you were full of "great expectations" ? You are footballer which seems weird as you don't sit that much so poor cardio is probably not the cause. I think that you can also suffer from some form of bacteria imbalance in stomach or covert anxiety/trauma. There might be some things or ideas or lack of perspectives that block your stream of a healthy life.

 

I have no clue about supplements and psychology so don't listen to what I say - you took soo many drugs and supplements and they had like zero effect as you said so it is probable that your dopamine level )or something else) is way too high and you are already past the plateau.

 

My only guess and I'm probably not educated enough on this matter would be actually lowering your dopamine levels. No masturbation, no coffee, no computer games, no porn, no sugar, no drugs!!!  Not only that, try a fast like a vegan diet for 6 days in a week with zero sugar zero meats zero processed foods. And keep up with the workouts, try including one very heavy workout in a week and combine interval runs, interval weight training and make it for at least an hour.

[Rick05]

My memory is bad and in a strange way. I also have trouble remembering names, but it's not like the information is gone in my mind. One day I'll remember, an other day I won't, or the next day after that I will. It's random, not like amnesia. I do get lost easily as well. It's like I'm always in my mind and not procession the information of the outside world correctly. I don't feel disconnected from my surroundings, but I don't feel connected to them either. I have absolutely no sense of time, don't know if you can relate. If I remember a memory of a week ago, my brain has to reason with clues to guess the date, but I have no natural sense of internal clock. All my memories feel very distant. I have aphantasia too. I'd say all this is very annoying but I can get myself to ignore it. As long as I tell myself that once my anhedonia is treated my DP symptoms will go away as well. It was much more bothering when I thought I had some form of brain damage though but it took me a long time and stressing over it to figure out I didn't.

 

I know that feeling. All of it. Sense of time will slowly improve over time (of course if you are not sabotaging yourself in some way) Probably not a clear brain damage if any at all. It is also somewhat possible you suffered very minor orientation in the field impairment (like walking with your phone and getting lost in the city or missing the station you were supposed to get out on). In the beginning you will probably feel lost way more often. Some doc told me this is about right strategy and time, figuring this on yourself seems hard. Better to consult some up to date doc.

Edited by Rick05, 23 September 2017 - 02:59 PM.

[iseethelight]

I suffer from all the same symptoms. I believe I suffer from excessive serotonin and / or excessive acetylcholine...

I wish I knew how to fix me so I could share it the whole wide world but alas I'm still fighting my own battles with no clear path to victory in sight.

[mike535]

yes i got anhedonia also after some infatuation and seperation with someone.. it was 3 years ago, and now i'm still, and anti-psychotic (fluphenazine decanoate) made everything 2-10 times worse... (un-sure exactly but it is very very bad now, before it was better)..

[Caravaggio]

I suffer from all the same symptoms. I believe I suffer from excessive serotonin and / or excessive acetylcholine...

I wish I knew how to fix me so I could share it the whole wide world but alas I'm still fighting my own battles with no clear path to victory in sight.

 

I'm curious if you also have high urine Serotonin (5-HT) like me (1296.48 µg/g Creatinine, reference range: >50 to <250 µg/g Creatinine).

 

Here in Germany the self-test is about $58. I didn't find a single US self-test, the closest thing I found is the "ZRT Labs 8 Panel Neurotransmitters Diagnostic Home Urine Test Kit" for $220, but it also tests for GABA, Glutamate, PEA, Dopamine, Norepinephrine and Epinephrine.

 

But I don't know if I had eaten any high Tryptophane food before the test, so I should do it again.    

[Hip]

Just discovered that glucuronolactone (a natural ingredient in some energy drinks) noticeably improves my anhedonia. See this thread.

[Emptyshell]

Hey everyone !
Sorry to dig up this old tread, but I have the exact same symptoms Referer had.
It is quite rare to experience this "lifelong", so I really struggle to find people to talk with about this.
Does someone knows how is he going now ? Can I contact him somewhere ?
Maybe you are still using the discord chat ?
I could have infos for him and vice versa.

PS : I am sorry for my poor english, I hope it is understandable..

[gintrux]

Is anyone interested in this stepholidine group synthesis? It could help with amotivation, anhedonia, apathy. In one study it increased D1, D2 receptors by 40% https://www.longecit...ia-amotivation/