LongeCity - Entry 6: making the same mistake: my habits are the solution

[background=transparent]So I want to blame this on the holidays, but I’ve keep making the same mistake that messes me up the most. That is, not falling asleep at my place and waking up somewhere else.[/background]

[background=transparent]So my goal is to not do this at all till March 10th(i got a lot on my plate in terms of things I have to get done then, work wise)[/background]

[background=transparent]That being said, I have the newest and best tool for motivation and making sure the foundation of these habits get done.[/background]

[background=transparent]That is: i tell my roomate what I am going to do(habit wise, getting outside my comfort zone wise) [/background]

[background=transparent]and if I mess up, I give him(or let him throw away) all my nootropics. Which is not about the money as much as I am really attached to this expeirment and would be pist if it got fucked up. I literally rather take a kick in the nuts than lose my noots right.[/background]

[background=transparent]That being said, tonight I stayed up extra late to do a bunch shit that I told him I have to do or he gets my noots. [/background]

[background=transparent]Another big realization I had was about my depression, insecurities etc.[/background]

[background=transparent]I may not be the smartest, have the best genetics, and all that, but I am going to win by working the hardest. I do not get any fulfillment from watching tv, resting, zoning out, unwinding, killing time. I get the most fulfillment when I do something I am not sure I am capable of doing, then going to any length to accomplishing it. I LOVE THE CHALLENGE. It’s the only thing that gives me life.[/background]

[background=transparent]That being said, the best thing to fight my depression/insecurities is constantly going out of my comfort zone, constantly working hard and challenging myself.[/background]

[background=transparent]I have a few people role models I know in real life. The thing I respect most about them is, once they have a fear, it is a habit for them do what they are afraid of. They are always the first to raise their hand and speak in front of a crowd even if it makes them look bad, they are the most productive people I know. I realize they are like that, because they would be depressed like me if they weren’t. That is why I have to set the example, and keeping pushing the envelope. That is why I get the highest state.[/background]

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