Where do I start?!
Over the past few days I have started seeing the world in a few different way. Sometimes I feel completely normal but then other times things take on a very strange appearance seem seem the have some mysical signifance. This often happens completely out of the blue and without warning. I've also being having very strange almost psychedelic thought processes that make no sense whatsoever and can go from one thought to something completely different without any connection. In addition to this I have been noticing synchronicities / coincidences everywhere. It's like they have always been there but I haven't been properley 'tuned in' to them before. I have also noticed that I have become extremely creative and my performance at work have improved dramatically.
I know how I have come to be in this state of mind. a few days ago I took Ketamine along with Gaba, Piracetam, Choline and Resveratrol as I wanted to go deep and try to gain a spiritual understanding of the world. Whilst in the middle of the trip I felt like it was in the womb and felt and overwhelming sense of peace and protection and could feel an all encompassing motherly love. It was beautiful and profound. Later that evening I watched a physics programme on string theory and parallel univereses and at that moment fully understood what reality was all about. I discovered that your own personal experience of the universe is what carves the universe out around you and makes it real. Basically, you define the universe and the amount you define it by (your impact to everyone's individaul subjective reality = objectivity) depends entirely on your will. If you believe something with complete and utter accetptance then you make it true. We know everything around us to be true because this is what has been built up by all the concious thought that has gone before us and is being experienced now. This continues to be defined by concious thought and will continue to be ad infinitum.
So, what is science? Science is a way for concious beings to go further deeper down into the rabbit hole. No matter what we learn about the universe there will always be more to discover. (Ironically by being completely logical we will never understand this no matter how much we want to). This is the nature of knowledge. The answer will always seem just out of reach. Take the atom, we thought that was the smallest thing then we smashed it open and discovered there was a whole new level of particles to discover. This will continue infinitely in both micro and macroscopic directions; the edge of the known universe is by no means the end, it's just the end of what we percieve.
I beleive that there are two side to the human psyche, a logical side, grounded in the physical world and a spiritual side grounded in the subconcious. Some people sit more on the side of logic (scientist's, mathmatician's, aethiest's) and some have their conciousness embedded more within the spiritual side (religious people, spiritulist's etc). Enlightenment occurs in a persons life when they balance both sides exactly and suddenly they have an all encompassing feeling of knowing and peace. It's kind of like knowing and feeling at the same time. In a similar way both fate (spiritual) and freewill (logic) can occur simultaniously. Seems impossible but then just look at quantum physics (impossible to exist without faith) and relegion (impossible to explain without logic). Only when you experience this balanace can you experience the true nature of reality and see/sense things for what thay truly are.
I appreciate that a lot of the behaviours I am showing are symptomatic of schizophrenia and I fully accept that this may be the case. If this is the case then we need to redefine this condition from being an ilness to being enlightened. In a universe that has never made sense, now everthing does.
Sory for the rambling nature of this post, I just had to get it out there. I hope it has struck a cord with someone.
Any questions invited.