98 replies to this topic

[Droplet]

Luminosity, on 05 March 2012 - 02:37 AM, said:

<sub>I'm at the library.  This would be a nice place to be on a rainy day.  There's a view of the mountains. But you can hear the power flush toilets when you try to sit and read magazines.  I was blocked from using the computers because I used one for 15 mintues when the user got off early.  They have an automatic system that is supposed to give you an hour before it blocked you.  Then a guy who seems to play with himself was in the library.  He sat at the computer that is by itself with his hand in his lap suspiciously.  I dropped notes off with the librarians.  The next time I saw him his hand was not in his lap anymore.  He must have noticed that I narked on him and negated that chance to catch him.  

Now there are fleas.  Two black fleas on the paper I printed out.   Fleas, masturbators, toilets and computers that time you out 45 mintutes early.  Aren't you glad you pay taxes so people have a place to be and connect to society?</sub>

That is one weird and badly run library!

[Luminosity]

I think so.

[Destiny's Equation]

Earlier I went to a restaurant with my mother.

As soon as I went in I felt sick (paint fumes coming off of the walls).  Had she been one of my buddies I would have said, "There are fumes in here and I am getting sick.  Let’s eat somewhere else", but I knew that if I did she would throw a temper tantrum.  Intimidated, I kept my mouth shut.

By the time we were about to leave my vision was blurred.  I checked the chair and the floor to make sure I hadn't left anything.  I thought it looked good, but I asked Mother to check it for me anyways (she knows damn well that vision problems are a part of my brain condition).  She refused to check, instead snapping, "be self-sufficient!".

Then, after I got home, I went to get my MSM bottle out of my purse to take the next dose.  It was gone.  Who knows what else I left at the restaurant, I don't know what else I had in my purse (I didn't exactly write a list of everything that was in there).  I hope I didn’t lose anything important.

Aside from the fact I ate in a fumey restaurant, the fact that she never helps me out when I need it irks me.  Anyone in their right mind would help someone with vision problems check for lost belongings before they leave a room if asked (other people I know don't mind doing that), but no, she tells me to "be self sufficient" and rants about how all she wants is “a low-maintenance kid".

I suppose that her wish for a self-sufficient low-maintenance kid is the reason I have been brain damaged 8 times and not once did she inconvenience herself by taking 5 minutes out of her day to call the paramedics?

[buckwheats]

aww. I read a Reddit thread recently where people were talking about their mothers who had always made them feel like an inconvenience for their medical conditions. it made me really sad :(. there were so many stories of outright neglect. If i thought i could find it I would link it here.

i find it really sad that your mom has that response to your health problems .. it seems like it's not all that uncommon. i guess she just wants to avoid the realities of your condition (would rather do that even if it strains your relationship than acknowledge it for what it is).  I'm not sure if this is more a modern thing - maybe people grow up expecting for government health care to remedy everything now, not expecting to have to care for each other's health, so resent it more now when they feel they have to, and are more prone to denying that person's health concerns so that they don't have to face up to them, which they were never prepared to do. that's no excuse for not caring for others, of course.


what is your brain condition and how has it been damaged? (maybe if there's a thread on it you could direct me there). do you live with your mom?

Edited by buckwheats, 01 April 2012 - 04:08 AM.

[mikeinnaples]

What is bothering me today is how willing people seem to ignore law and subject people to mob rule and mob justice. What bothers me so much about it is the hypocrisy involved with the very minority that was quite often subject to mob 'justice' and mob mentality is now so very eager to do the same thing. What bothers me is how quick people are to rush to judgment about an issue without knowing all the facts. What bothers me is how certain leaders of certain minorities are so QUICK to exploit the tragedy of others to promote their agenda. What bothers me is race becoming an issue where perhaps there was no issue with it to begin with. What bothers me is that people seem completely blind to the fact that racism can occur between ANY race, not just inflicted on a minority by a majority. What bothers me is that a minority can yell racial slurs and be convicted of a racial hate crime, but it gets NO media attention, yet when a minorty is even perceived as being a victim of a racial hate crime, even if there is no grounds to make that assumption, you can't get away from it in the media because it is prevalent EVERYWHERE.

What bothers me is that nobody bothered to ask or care why a 'child', and I use that term lightly, was allowed to go out on the streets alone without parental supervision while serving suspension from school for possession of any empty drug bag when a responsible parent would know that their child was either using or selling, or both. Where is the outrage at the parent that didnt care? The parent whom, if they did care, would have never allowed there child to be outside alone to begin with, and thus never killed.

What bothers me currently is that people seem too ready to demonize, without any evidence and based soley off the media, a person that might just be the victim in the situation.

What bothers me currently is that people seem to think it is ok for a child, again using the term loosely because we have 17 year olds taking lives in our armed forced currently, to committ physical harm to someone, but it is NOT ok for the person on the receiving end to defend their life.... if that is of course what happened.

What bothers me currently is the media portraying a gold toothed, hoodie wearing, self proclaimed gangster, with a history of burglary, vandalism, and drugs as an innocent little, baby faced child by running extremely old and irrelevant pictures.

What bothers me currently is that I can go on and on about this.

[Luminosity]

This thread is four pages long so I'll repost the ground rules:

please don't use this thread to write about this site.
supportive feedback only, please
please, no advice or criticism to the posters
no debating

Post don't have to make sense.  

This intended to be a place to vent without having to explain oneself.

Thanks.

I'm so sorry your Mom is like that Destiny's Equation.  "Low maintenance"  That's abusive.  Defining legitimate needs as somehow crossing a series of imaginary lines and demonizing them or ruling them too much.  I have some experience with that behavior.  It sucks.  Anyone who says they want a "low maintenance" family, spouse or especially child should not have one.

Edited by Luminosity, 03 April 2012 - 01:34 AM.

[Luminosity]

I don't want to place this order with a vitamin company.  I feel ashamed and aggrieved because both of some troubles with placing the order that I blamed them for.  They are dysfunctional and it is usually their fault but this time it wasn't.  I feel murky dark energy.  I spent all that time with the person on the phone and the order didn't go through.  I feel shame and grievances.  Late stage capitalism with all the corners cut doesn't really work for people.  I feel a darkness about it. I am in the Apple store and a child is screaming and it has been very noisy and I can't think well enough to place a long, complicated order.  You'd think that they would organize all your past orders so you can just reorder stuff off of them, but they don't.  So it's always a new order.  The child just let out a bloodcurdling scream and then another for no real reason.  Thanks, adds to the post apocalyptic feeling.  Concentration was banished back in the nineties.

It feels like something doesn't want me to focus.  Like if that happened, the social order would be threatened.  If I was organized .  .  . so they keep that from happening.  Very effectively too.  I have some collagen I have to take in my backpack.  I'm tired of getting things out of my backpack and following a complicated regimen.  Always something.  And then I'm supposed to recreate my order which I spent so long on and I don't want to.  I feel weird.  I place these long expensive orders and half-way through the person on the other end loses interest and is hard to engage.  Hey, I just exceeded a hundred dollars and you aren't paying attention.  Shouldn't it work the other way?  It's hard to deal with.  It happened on the order but then it didn't go through for other reasons.  Another company I tried isn't any better.  Twice on long order the person would not read ingredients and got difficult.  

So now there is this murky energy and darkness and shame and aversion.  I don't know how they feel.  Probably not great.  It's not a great company but I haven't found a replacement.

[mikeinnaples]

I am currently bothered by people who spend the time to list somethng for sale on craiglist, but rather than spending 2 extra seconds to post a picture, they ask you to email them for a picture instead.

Ya right...

[The Immortalist]

Teen mothers