I can't believe I didn't find this post earlier, in all my millions of modafinal hours spent researching this question, and questions tangentially related to it.
I've wanted to make my foray into the fascinating world of nootropics for a while, partly due to my experiences with Ritalin LA, Methyln ER, Concerta, and straight-up methylphenidate. I mean that in two ways: 1)Taking Ritalin and experiencing focus, concentration, and much better than my usual subpar levels of motivation and recall, it was like a veil was lifted. I wondered how I had ever managed without it, rememberig in painful detail how I struggled in school - most noticeably during my first stint as an undergraduate, when I cared about my studies, was challenged by them, and couldn't coast through with my brain offline as I had in high school - and at what cost I managed to finish, to get that diploma. Endless nights of frustration and desperation, throwing my textbooks across the room after realizing that while I thought I had been studying intently for hours, nothing had stuck. I would read the same lines over and over and over, for a long time before even realizing it (when I did I hung my head, crying, wondering what on earth was wrong with me). Spacin out during midterms and finals only to "come-to" and see that time was almost up and I hadn't yet done much of the exam at all. The second time I webt to school, about halfway through, my doc decided to try Ritalin, to my surprise. And all of a sudden, I could read-- and understand what I was reading. And remember it. I could pay attention in class, even during my late-night 4-5 hour seminars, or early Saturday morning meetings. "Is this what normal people feel like?" I wondered. So I guess that was all a long-winded way of saying that Ritalin made me aware of how much more my brain was capable of...which created a far greater hunger in me, which ultimately led me to brain training, overhauling my diet, and devouring all the research and anecdotal evidence I could find on anything even vaguely related...thus my all-consuming interest in nootropics, and impatience to get off enough of the psychotropics (which I take mostly for bipolar disorder, anxiety, and some neuropathy/chronic pain issues, a process I've been undergoing for about two years now. From literally more than 10 different medications each day, I am down to less than five, and in remarkably low doses. But alas, I've still got a ways to go yet). So Ritalin first made me wonder how much further I could take my brain's supposed "limits". But 2)It also, while remainig the single most effective medication in my "cocktail," still doesn't feel quite right, somehow. It does what it's supposed to, and for that, I'm grateful, but I'm not entirely comfortable with it. You're right, it feels "dirty." It works, maye too well. I know when I'm on it that I'm on it. It's synthetic-feeling. And the healthier I get, the more probounced this is. And more and more, I get the feeling that somethig crucial is lacking, like I'm missing a key to...gettig it right.
I haven't ventured very far into noot-land, afraid as I am of interactions with the psychotripics I take. (I take Cymbalta, Abilify, Topamax, and Methylphenidate). I have, however, been working hard on my being consistent with dietary considerations, regular exercise, getting sufficient, quality sleep, and beig religious about taking my multi, B-Complex, Fish Oil, and Vitamin D. I added Bacopa a few days ago as well, after deeming it safe enough to at least try out (and worth it). And...I was given a jar of Liftmode's highly-touted Phenylpiracetam, so I experimented with that for three weeks. Differnt doses, at different intervals, but not daily, ever. I had none of the dramatic, life-changing effects so many others report, nor any of the subtler ones. However, during my experiment, I happened to run out of all my medications for several days, and when I tried the pp after having been off all that stuff, while I was neither superhuman nor super-verbal, I could definitely tell that it was workig on my brain. I felt like my brain just liked it. Like my brain was ever slightly more stable, solid, and working better despite not being able to subjectively discern any effects to prove this. So we'll see. I have a long way to go yet in reducing the meds, but I think there may come a day in which it might benefit me.
I admit, this was a little frustrating, after all I'd read about its purported efficacy. It may have been frustration which led to my decision to try Modafinil. That, beyond any shadow of a doubt, makes my brain happy. Again, not superhuman, just not stuck in bed or spacex out all the time. Just, y'know, verging on functional, almost.
So there has been definite, clear progress, and there's reason to hope for more. Yet...
Something's still missing. Researched possible potentiators of methylphenidate. (L-Tyrosine? That'd make sense, and be convenient, since thst has worked quite well for me in the past. Magnesium taurate? Same thing). At this point, I don't know whether to take the Modafinil or the Ritalin, or smaller doses of both, together. If I stick with the Ritalin, do I begin to i corporate L-Tyrosine, and bring the magnesium taurate back (why DID I stop taking it?) I have L-Theanine coming, to take with my morning coffee, and in the evenings to relax. That seems like it would work for Ritalin the way it is reported to for caffeine, namely in reducing jitters/anxiety (I get horrible anxiety and stopped takig all benzos 9 months ago, haven't really found a way to control it yet). Alpha-GPC is also in that order, just to have available. And...so is Aniracetam. I could NOT shake the feeling that I was lacking an essential component of this "stack," and wondered about ani's effects on creativity and on reducing anxiety. (Creative enhancement is a particularly inteiguiguing prospect, as I am poet and painter). Given all this, it seemed to make so much sense. I don't intend to start L-Tyrosine, L-Theanine, Alpha-GPC, Aniracetam, bring back Magnesium Taurate after long time off, waver between Ritalin an Modafinil, still taking all these psych meds, all at once. But after stumbling across this thread, I feel encouraged, that I'm on the right track. This theead has articulated and validated much for me; thank you.
And I realize this was an Homeric-length post, (I apologize, I'm having a hard time with my brain's filter/edit function right now...) but if anyone HAS managed to read through it all, first accept my thanks. And the , please, if you have any advice, tips, suggestions, experiences to share, I'm grateful for any help.
I'm so glad I found this forum. Thanks, everyone.
