I copy past everything from my introduction.
Hi all!
First i am 22 years old. Exercise regulary, have a lot of friends and a gf. Just made my "matura"(its like the right to study in switzerland) and start to study veterinary medicine soon.
My journey began when i was 13. I smoked spice all by myself and had a really bad trip. I had chest tightness and a huge amount of anxiety and derealisation, which didnt go away after some days. I had 24/7 anxiety attacks and started to worry that i did permanent damage to my brain. Then i started to have dark toughts like "what if i imagine everything and i am all alone" or "what if everyone is an actor like in the trueman show". I realised that these toughts are not normal and the 24/7 anxiety was neither. I startet seeing a schoolpsychologist and that helped zero. After a while everything returned back to normal. For 8 years everything was fine and then i had a relapse. That was a year ago. I couldnt believe it, i tought i had worked through that and forgot about it. Well, it all came back at me. I saw a doctor as fast as i could, because i couldnt sleep for 3 days. I was then transferred to a psychiatrist. What happens when you see a psychiatrist and you mention such thoughts? Righg, schizophrenia is to consider. But the psychiatrist said i just dont seem to be schizophrenic. So i started to take 5mg olanzapine (yay 20kg weight gain) and 10mg escitalopram. I then got tested at a clinic, bloodtest, brainscan, neuropsychiatric performance etc. And then i got the diagnosis strong general anxiety disorder with mild depression. When i finally calmed down after some months, i started to taper off the olanzapine.( Right now at 1.75mg)
Of course when you are anxious and depressed you experience cognitive deficits, so i became interested in nootropics and supplements but i always stay away from stuff that messes with dopamine. Just in case.
Right now i have motivation problems, sleep like 12h/day, sometimes anxious, think alot about death and how to avoid it etc.
I take:
Morning methylfolate 800mcg
escitalopram 15mg
Ksm-66 300mg
Fishoil 1g
L-theanine 200m
NAC 600mg
Evening
Bacopa 500mg
1.75mg olanzapine
NAC 600mg
L-theanine 600mg
I also have coluracetam and fasoracetam.
I think i somehwhat fried receptors in the endocannabiniod system.
My anhedonia is explainable with my medication and it sucks. I think it also makes me lazy and a bit stupid. I will try to lower my escitalopram dosage when i got of the olanzapine and am stable. I then will try to use afobazole.
Bacopa is also not the best stuff for motivation, but i dont want to mess with it right now, because i think i benefitet greatly in other aspects.
Oxiracetam shouldnt raise dopamine much and provide a little boost. What do you think?
Sleeping with olanzapine is also shit. I need 12h to be well rested.
Excuse my english
Thoughts, concerns, etc?
Greetings