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trying to recover from nuerotoxicity/anhedonia

anhedonia nootropic

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#1 Andersen

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Posted 27 April 2018 - 08:19 PM

During my late high school career i was using alot of drugs. Anything and everything you could think of but mainly stimulants. I did alot of what i thought to be MDMA, i guess it could have been anything and took a good bit of adhd medicine (whatever i could find) including vyvanse, adderall, ritalin, ect. for school purposes and just in general to make me feel good. Note that i was never prescribed it or diagnosed with adhd so had no reason to be taking it.I stated to develop a bit of a habit. I was an avid pot smoker and drank about every weekend. I started to notice myself changing but was unaware that this was why. I was so caught up in getting fucked up nothing else mattered. I didnt think anything would huurt me. Man was i wrong. I started to develop very bad attitude problems, and got mean. Things really changed after graduating and starting a community college. I consistantly bought adderall/vyvanse from friends for the first semester which was probably about six months and took it probably 3-4 times a week. Ranging from all mg levels that are prescribed. After that first semester i felt sick. Sick mentally and physically. i quit everything, began eating right, and taking supplements. after about three months i felt better but never returned to my older self. After a while i began smoking pot again and also drinking. I was able to function but not well and was still not happy like i used to be prior to any drug use. I didnt realize the toll drugs had taken on me. eventally i decided to take a couple grams of mushrooms. I ate about 2.8g of mushroom one night, had a very uncomfortable trip, and have not been right since. I declined mentally afterwards, and did not sleep for three weeks. I think the mushrooms must have exacerbated the damage from drugs but i am not sure. Before the stims i was pretty heavy on mdma on the weekends with my friends. I would snort anywhere from .5- maybe a gram and a half over an entire night, drink lots of alchohol and stay up all night. Thats where my problems started but it really all set in after the daily stim use, and then after my mushroom trip it feels like i have just been in a hole mentally ever since

Since then i have been stuggling with Memory problems, what i think to be adrenal fatigue, vision problems, anhedonia, lack of personality, irritation, i cant sleep good at all anymore (its just not a good deep sleep anymore), i have a hard time remembering what i just did, thinking things through, i have no sense of how i feel or what i want, cant decide between two things, experience no pleasure, cant make rational decisions, have no motivation or drive to do anything, have a very hard time reading a book or following a movie anymore, lack of awarness and also explaining myself. I eat so much food anymore and cannot get satisfied. I dont enjoy hanging out or converssating with others anymore and feel like an alien. i also have a hard time with decision making, critical thinking, and planning.bing eating and drinking coffee, and worrying about things that do not matter. i have no drive to do anything

After hours and hours of searching around and reading up on things i beleive this to be brain damage caused by amphetimines/stimulants and drugs in general. Im 19 years old and feel like im 80. It feels like their is a big hole in my head and all i want to do is somehow get back to the old me. I was eating a totally paleo diet, and taking a good bit of supplements including

1 b supreme (b complex)

100mg of magnesium glycinate Complex

30mg of zinc

2000 iu of vitamin D

A good fish oil supplement- been playing with dosages

300mg of uridine

500mg of alpha gpc

annd lions mane

I quit taking this for fear of excess that i could be getting from food although i find it hard to stick to a raw unprocessesed diet anymore and end up binging out all day on coffee and on sweet foods all night to the point i cant sleep. I have a very hard time sleeping anyway anymore and whenever i am not able to sleep at night is when i fall off and start binging. i will drink so much coffee with no sleep that i feel sick the rest of the next day. I also have a very hard time making decisions and using self control.

Im wondering if i should be taking any of the supplements listed above, maybe excluding or changing my choline and uridine supplements as they made me feel bad. Im also wondering if caffiene is okay or if i should stay away from it. should i be able to get everything i need from a raw unprocessed diet as long as i can get back and stick to it? i really just need some guidance. How much of these supplements should i be taking?

#2 CWF1986

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Posted 28 April 2018 - 01:54 AM

Supplements can help optimize your brain, but they don't usually fix major behavioral health issues.  My best recommendation is to see a psychologist for therapy and to get a solid recommendation for a psychiatrist.  If you're thinking you don't need one of those then just ask, "How has what I've been doing working".  They're there to help and have experience and training.  


If after a while and putting in the work they suggest for you and you don't have results then discuss this with them.  If you still feel like you're spinning your wheels, then find a different one.  Keep in mind that meds are tools that help you fix your life and it can take months to a few years to find the right meds if that's the route you need to go.  Best case scenario, you're still going to have to put in work and give it time.  


As far as diet, just try to eat healthy.  Don't just use will power, but  work on creating health habits so you have something sustainable.  This takes time.


Also.  Exercise!  A combination of resistance training (weights, machines, calisthenics, etc) and cardio is ideal.  One or the other is a helluva lot better than nothing.   


Take baby steps so you don't become overwhelmed.  A good therapist should be able to help you with defeating attitudes and thoughts and a plan to instill good habits.  


Best of luck. 

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#3 Deaden

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Posted 27 July 2018 - 06:36 AM

Read the comments I posted recently. You have no irreversible brain damage, there's quite a number of people that have healed from the same symptoms you're experiencing right now. Just take the right steps, and I'd advise against keeping on drugging yourself with any supplement or whatever. 

Edited by Deaden, 27 July 2018 - 06:43 AM.

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#4 Andersen

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Posted 13 August 2018 - 05:29 PM

Read the comments I posted recently. You have no irreversible brain damage, there's quite a number of people that have healed from the same symptoms you're experiencing right now. Just take the right steps, and I'd advise against keeping on drugging yourself with any supplement or whatever. 

i cant stick to a clean diet and excercise because i have been binging on junk food and i just crave some form of pleasure whenever i try anymore. i continue to try but its like ive dug myself even further with my eating habits and im worried if i dont do something im going to die of horrible diseases. I binge to the point my stomach hurts and i try to purge it, but nothing comes out. I eat to the point i cant sleep because my stomach is so full. I also crave coffee every day. If i have one cup that leads to a couple and even one cup causes me to not sleep all night... yet i still crave it. I cant adjust to my situation. Im not sure what to do but if there was some kind of nootropic that could give me like a sort of helping hand so i could feel pleasure and not feel the need to binge, or to help me sleep and wake up feeling refreshed, i feel i could maintain a healthy diet, excercise and sleeping scheduale.

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