I am a new member here who had some chronic very persistent mild-moderate health issues since my teens that due to it's chronicity have become quite debilitating and prevent me from living a normal life.
According to medical professionals I suffer from PDD(Persistent Depressive Disorder) even though I am not really sure how useful this diagnosis is in practice. Doesn't tell me more than I already know.
Regarding the PDD, I find this to be not a very useful diagnosis. Supposedly I will have it for life(cause unknown) and I can only "learn" to live with it, whatever that is supposed to mean. I don't find this very helpful and I hate the idea to suffer from this forever.
I have received rx medication for it (SSRIs) with virtually no effect on my state. I have also experimented with neurotransmitter manipulation supplements, not terrible but doesn't seem to make that much of a difference either. Brain seems to adjust rather quickly to any manipulation attempt. So far it feels like manipulating neurotransmitters is at best only a temporary fix and not too useful.
I can't pinpoint a specific psychological reason for these symptoms either. Nothing would explain this serious ever present chronic, unresponsive mental and physical symptoms of that degree. Most of the stressors in my life are caused by the health problems not the other way around.
I think I could improve my thinking patterns further but again while helpful it doesn't really feel like it is the only problem. Feels more like a side issue to me.
I have also several physical symptoms, supposedly caused by the PDD but I have some doubts:
My symptoms include Chronic digestive problems(bloating), brain fog, migraines, mild-moderate depression(more of anhedonia/cognitive impairment type, no emotional drama or self-harm/suicidal out of control behavior), strong fatigue, universal reactor to foods, pretty bad cognition problems, fairly low self esteem(likely caused by depression)
Best description of my state: really bad brain fog, really tired and sleepy, mood low but not suicidal low, everything feels just boring, pointless and a chore, Bloated, inflamed gut, feeling generally very unwell in my body but can't describe the feeling well, fatigued. Low tolerance of physical and mental stress. Chronic mild headaches with frequent severe migraines. Need to take a nap during the day. Sometimes it feels like I am in a permanent state of migraine with varying severity. Often feel like crying for no reason but it's not a very strong feeling even though it can be quite distressing.
The fatigue is constant and never changes, mood does fluctuate and can sometimes be influenced by external factors to some degree but not completely. Even when mood is improved, the fatigue remains unchanged.
Food intake does seem to trigger or worsen depression for a few hours. Eating often makes me feel awful but I can't describe well how it feels other than awful. Extremely restrictive diets seem to improve/lift many of my symptoms but are hard to follow and it's not clear to me why they help.
From what I have seen is that unlike many other people with depression is that I am on an intellectual level really passionate about things that I could do in life and looking forward to doing a lot of things but the emotional part of my brain just doesn't switch itself on like I want it too and like it should. So I can only imagine how things could be but I don't experience them anymore on an emotional level. Strangely I have never not even remotely been suicidal perhaps highlighting that my depression mostly remains in the mild range.
Lab results mostly normal except some moderate elevation of adrenal hormones, T not very high but not very low either, T3,T4 normal, some signs of allergies not very dramatic though. Everything appears to be normal.
To be honest I am a bit running out of ideas at the moment. I really refuse to believe that is the best I can do and I am looking to brainstorm new ideas and hear inputs from other people.
Here is what I have tried so far:
I have tried different diets such as low carb, paleo and others but my impression is that improvements are either to avoidance due to certain allergens or types or certain carbs not carbs themselves. Fasting does seem to lift some of my fog, mental impairment.
Digestion is chronically messed up, changes from day to day. Never really well. The only thing that helps is probiotics but I have to take them every day or digestions will worsen within 1 day again.
Drugs: SSRIs. Boring stuff that does little good or bad. Just makes me tired, bit more numb and apathic. I can stop taking them without any withdrawal effect. It's like they don't affect me much.
Mushrooms: Didn't notice any benefits.
Amino Acids: See Mood Cure Book. Combo of amino acids helps more than SSRIs, in fact i notice a nearly instant elimination of negative thoughts from multi amino acid combo. But I still feel awful, unwell and tired and can't focus. It's as if the thoughts don't matter that much. After a while the effects seem to go away. Not terrible but not enough either.
St. John's Wort: It does appear to work a bit for a few days but it's almost as if the brain turns the effect off once it realized that the neurotransmitters are manipulated. Once I stop taking it I have a period where I am very very tired but improved emotionally to some degree.
I suspect that neurotransmitter boosters in general help me initially but after a while they make me even more depressed but this is hard to tell. I am not a big fan of them. They feel like a very superficial intervention to me that doesn't address the root cause.
It's almost like a sense a relief again when I go off them. Strangely like SSRIs after going off them I experience brief periods where I feel a bit better. It's almost as if they work after I stop taking them. I also heard others describing this.
Thyroid hormones: Improve certain aspects of the depression a bit but make me feel tense and I can't take them.
Other vitamins and minerals. Some of them are useful but nothing dramatic. I think I tried most relevant combos. Magnesium seems to work better than others.
Fatty acids: Tried various combos and supplements. Does something but it's not much.
Exercise: Endorphins provide some temporary improvement but strangely it does also seem to trigger depression itself which is the opposite of what one would expect.
Psychotherapist: I have seen a psychotherapist for a while. Always had the feeling they weren't interested or thought they couldn't help me and wanted me to see a doctor instead who would put me on drugs. Didn't find it too useful. Felt neither better nor worse.
Mental hygiene, cognitive restructuring. I am always doing this to some extent but it feels more like a survival/management strategy than a cure to me and only helps to some extent.
So many things are useful but my feeling is that I never hit the nail on the head and whatever causes the problem was never addressed. Closest was dietary restriction so far, I think.
It's kind of frustrating because the diagnosis PDD is fairly neglected, from what I hear it might be removed and replace with chronic depression. I find very little success stories for this condition and trying to interact with other sufferers hasn't provided me with that much useful information either. It seems like many have given up or just accept that they will never be well and trying to cope somehow. From the small sample that I have it seems that they don't respond very well to medication and other treatments.
Quite frankly I am still puzzled and not sure how to proceed. I really don't identify with this condition. I don't think it's my normal state/character or how I should be or used to be but I can't figure out what has hijacked my health and mind. I used to be full of energy and life before I became ill.
Would appreciate any idea and thoughts so that I can get different viewpoints, if someone had a similar condition that would be a plus.
Edited by healthmysteries31, 30 October 2022 - 05:25 PM.
