(An allegorical fanfic about our current situation on Earth. I had this idea bouncing in my head and thought I should write it down before I think it's too insignificant to write down.
Feel free to edit and expand for your own purposes.)Star Trek: Spaceship Earth
"What's our status?"
"We are on a spherical spacecraft. The air is breathable, but atmospheric controls are non-existent and there is hot lava erupting from the core. There are about six billion crew members onboard. All human."
"Six billion?"
"Maybe it's a generation ship of some kind. It seems to be made of multiple layers of rock and it's about five billion years old."
"Shields?"
"No, this ship has no shields."
"Weapons?"
"There are no phasers or photon torpedoes, but I think we have lot's of primitive missiles and projectile weapons. Also, there are no holodeck."
"But we are moving, right?"
"The ship is on autopilot, orbiting a yellow dwarf."
"Switch to manual."
"Manual controls are offline."
"Transporter?"
"Offline."
"Dammit. What about escape pods?"
"There are no escape pods in this ship."
"No escape pods? What kind of an idiot designed this piece of -"
"I don't know, sir."
"Send a distress call on all hailing frequencies. There must be some other ships out there."
"No response."
"Send it again. Captain's log, stardate 4831 -"
"Captain."
"Not now, ensign, I'm trying to make a log entry."
"Computer is offline, sir."
"What?"
"It seems that this ship has no general artificial intelligence either."
"Huh?"
"I'm saying we may have to build the AI from scratch too."
"Six billion humans onboard and nothing in this damn ship works!"
"That seems to be the case."
"Okay. Don't panic. We can do this. It could take decades, maybe full 10 seasons, but we can get this ship back online. Sickbay, status?"
"Doctor here. Medical facilities in this ship are very primitive, but -"
"Doctor, we may have to stay on this ship for a very long time. We need life-extending drugs as soon as possible."
"Yes sir."
"Are there any cryopods?"
"Yes, there are some cryopods here. They are operational -"
"That's the first good news today!"
"- but we don't have nanomedicines of any kind. We can put people on stasis, but we can't revive them with this technology."
"Damn. Start working on it."
"Yes sir."
"Let's be rational. Engineering, our first priority is to get AI, nanomedicine and nanoshields online ASAP. Put some people working on escape pods too, we need a plan B, if we can't get shields online soon enough. Keep on sending distress signal on all frequencies. Let's get to work. I need a cup of tea."
"Replicators are not functioning, sir."
"Bridge to engineering. Forget the escape pods, replicators are our first priority."
