17 replies to this topic

[djquake25]

[mellow] Hi,

So I did ecstasy about 30-40 times in a 3 year period, back in 2001 and I was 21 years old. I was able to get myself out the whole Rave scene on my own without anyone putting me into rehab or jail. I have always been a little vein(excuse my spelling) about myself which is why i stopped using cus i realized how much damage the drug was doing to me physically

I have struggled and continue to struggle with depression. I also struggle with not liking what i see infront of the mirror.

I used to obsess about how skinny i i was and how "tweaked out" i used to look...i have gained a few pounds but im still slim cus ive always been slim my whole life but no longer obsess about my weight but more with the small inperfections i see about my face when i get close to the mirror

i dont knw if this is in my mind cus people tell me im sexy and guys always be hittin me up in the club...but its hard to think of myself as sexy when dats not what i see and i see things that i knw are there..this is not one of those "oh i think im fat" when Im not really, ie anorexia

anyways i noticed how my acne scars are worstening although i dont pick @ my face...and i feel all of these inperfections, looking tired and other issues are all long term effects of my previous drug use


basically i am not happy with what I see and feel frustrated that other people out there have done drugs too and dont look as messed up as i do and also now that i have been clean for 4 years i expected i would look better, i do look better but not much physical chabge..my face is what has been ruined

so i need advice on what vitamins or natural meds can i try to help with not only my depression but with not looking so cracked out

i cant find anything when i google:

treating long-term side effects of ecstacy
treating physical side effects of ecstasy

...etc

help any feedback wil be appreciated!

[electric buddha]

I'm afraid I can't be of much help when it comes to the neurology. Aside from at least being able to mention that it might not be as bad as some search results make it out to be. One of the landmark studies was shown to have actually been done with methamphetamines, and thus is totally invalid. However, it's still fairly widly cited.

Just so someone covers it though, are you getting enough sleep and healthy food? It's really easy in our society to eat a lot, but wind up without much in the way of things our body can actually make use of. Sleep as well tends to be sparse. You'll need more than you used to if your body is trying to do any serious work rewiring the brain. Especially if you were using mdma/ectasy very heavily. There can be a bit of a rebound effect for a while from stimulant use on even a fairly sparse basis if done regularly.

For the appearance, aside from changing diet, how's your exercise routine? I'm guessing fairly high on aerobic, but not much in terms of weights? You might want to give some light lifting a shot at a local gym if one's available. A lot of women neglect it, and it can give a hollowed out body shape in some instances. The 1980s, for example, were a strong period for that. Most of the models had almost no muscle, and only a thin layer of fat.

Oh, and you might get some different search results by substituting the term mdma for ecstasy. It's what most of the studies would have referred to it as, and as a result secondary references have a higher chance of aping their terms.

[Mixter]

I would...

1. See a Neurologist right away in this case, and following the whole recommended therapy, it can be serious or worsen.

2. Exercise a lot, if only starting with long daily brisk walking. Helps the brain and alleviates depression.
2b. Get engaged with something interesting, new that challenges your brain.
2c. Regular, sufficient but not too much sleep ~8h/day.

3. IF you should just get a standard antidepressant as therapy from your neurologist, that may not be sufficient/appropriate. In that case, go for general nootropic regimen to rebuild the brain. What *I* would consider in that case would be: omega 3s/lecithin/vitamins for basic rebuilding, perhaps tianeptine and NGF/GDNF-stimulants for selective regrowth (hippocampus, glia), perhaps low-dose Deprenyl to support damaged substantia nigra/mitigate long-term parkinsons risk. But, see all the other regimens, LEARN FIRST(!!), and look at what may be best for you. And I wouldn't start that before seeing a doc on this...

Plus, always realize/keep in mind those feelings you describe aren't objective and can and will change once you start to work on your situation by actively recovering your health/brain.

[djquake25]

Thanx guys. I appreciate u guys taking the time and write to me.

i went to a new dr which he specializes on internal medicine...i told him everything and he started me on omega 3..da prescription kind named Omacor...has me taking b12, and im also taking zinc and folic acid

my prev Dr tried putting me on different anti-depresants but i would stop taking them after a few weeks cus they would make me loose weight, make my eyes look glassy and make me look tweaked out like if i was using again

i just sometimes feel weird when i take vitamins, sometimes i get nauscious, and then I also feel like they make me look "dirty" like if da vitamins crack me out or somethin...u knw kinda like how people look all druggy after dat crazy weekend of rollin

i do feel a bit better wit da omega but jus feel like im not really making much progress i guess i need to be patient cus its only been a month since i started da vitamins

i also get frustrated cus u would think that after 3-4 years since my last pill that I would start looking better...i do look better but not on wit my skin...sometimes i feel like if my body still has sum chemicals that still slowly throws out...

...its weird cus sometime i look at myself and i say wow i look good(sexy) but then i go through a period that i dont like wut i see

i dont know

well thanx again!

[niner]

Hi djquake25. There were a lot of good suggestions above, I particularly like the weight lifting concept. For skin, there is a lot of technology now that is really great. I like regular use of glycolic acid; there are now tons of skin creams that have it so you don't necessarily have to pay an arm and a leg. After 3-4 months of daily use, your skin will look younger and brighter. Use a sunscreen if you use glycolic acid or any other alpha hydroxy acid because they cause the outer layer of dead skin to get thinner so it will not protect you from UV as well.

Your doctor's advice was pretty good. The omega 3s may help a lot, but they are another thing that takes a long time to work. Stick with them. Six months out I bet you will feel better.

[ajnast4r]

i abused ecstasy as well, maybe a little more severely than you did... i also suffer from mild depression/cyclothimia which i believe to be related to the drug abuse.

the two things that basically set me back to normal [if not better than normal] were rhodiola and daily meditation...


i would also consider that your physical insecurities are being exacerbated by the drugs damage to your brain more than anything else, as i had the same problem for a while.

[djquake25]

thank u Niner and ajnast4r

i always sit in my room and overthink things and bout life...i obssess with look at the mirror

sometimes i think i dont like myself cus i remember when i would be rollin and i would go to the bathroom and just stare at my self for mins and feel myself turned on by lookin @ myself...i would see myself like I had never seen myself before

like if i was out of my body lookin @ myself like other people see my self

and i guess when i see my reflection now I think my mind might be tricking me cus after seeing myself on E now seeing myself sober just isnt as pleasurable

but its weird cus sometimes I WILL see myself in a good way

anyways I used to also take 5-htp on the week days before the weekend would come thru cus my so called "friends" would say it would help me roll harder so i would do that every week before rollin

I now also feel scared of takingt any meds that interact with seratonin cus i think its gon cause more damage like e(my DR told me it doesnt)

...but I dont understand why when I would start meds like Zoloft, Cymbalta, etc i would start lookin all cracked out, so I would stop cus i would feel like it was causing damage because it was making me look physically wrong

maybe it was all in my mind...i dont knw

Ive been thinking of getting myself 5-htp and maybe those other natural anti-depressants like SAME and i cant remember what other ones out there

any suggestions on other natural anti depressants like SAME? or as ajnast4r said "rhodiola"??

[bob_d]

did your doctor check your liver?

[ozone]

Kind of off topic, but I've read that ecstasy isn't that bad if it's pure. The main danger exists because 99% of the time it's not pure, and it's that other crap in it that can kill you.

Also, in another thread I'm discussing magnesium; and I'm not trying to push it here, but the fact of the matter is, 90% of people don't get enough, not nearly enough. And one of the main symptoms of magnesium deficiency is depression. Also, B vitamins get rid or help elevate stress. Finally, Phenibut and/or Bacopa is also really good.

I don't know what you look like. It could very well be that ecstasy has messed up your body; but it could also be that it's all in your head and you just don't like the way you look. My wife is 110lbs and she thinks she is fat. So try some of this stuff out.

Get this: http://www.vitacost....Magnesium-Ultra (and take like 3-4 a day).

Get this: http://www.vitacost....tamin-B-Complex (take 1 a day) (it looks like a decent complex)

Get this: http://www.vitacost....asBacopaExtract (take 4 a day) (there are better ones out there, but if you want to get it all from one website, this is decent)

I wouldn't suggest getting 100 different products and downing them, but taking a few like the ones above, and then adding to this regime later, is the wise thing to do. But yeah, it seems like one of your issues is this constant stressing about your looks. Maybe this can help remove some of that.

[ajnast4r]

Kind of off topic, but I've read that ecstasy isn't that bad if it's pure. The main danger exists because 99% of the time it's not pure, and it's that other crap in it that can kill you.

incorrect

[woly]

Kind of off topic, but I've read that ecstasy isn't that bad if it's pure. The main danger exists because 99% of the time it's not pure, and it's that other crap in it that can kill you.

ecstasy is pretty safe as far as overdoses go, the people who die while in ectasy are usually doing something silly (not enough/too much water etc) or have taken impure pills (PMA). its the possible long term effects that are bad (neurotoxicity).

[John_Ventureville]

djquake25, I just want to say I care and that you need to be careful about all these messages society/Madison Avenue advertisers/MTV, etc. send out about needing to be super skinny or whatever else is seen as perfection for that year. Remember that most models on magazine covers are still not considered "perfect enough" so computer tweaking is done to shave off extra inches or make skin look totally flawless. Talk about unreal! damn.

Do you enjoy reading? I find a good book can really take my mind off things or other times get me focused on things in a new and better way. A great novel or short story collection can give me a natural high. And though some people make fun of "self-help books" I will say that some of them are really worthwhile, especially those on dating, gender and relationships.

Try to keep a journal. Just half a page a day to remember what you did that day can make a huge difference. Then later when you feel like giving up on getting better you can look back in what you wrote and you will think something like "I've already gone a long way and don't want to quit now." At least that's the effect it had on me.

Besides the great nutritional/supplement info these folks gave you I would just add that spirituality is very important. Try to find a cool organization or church like the Unitarians, Buddhists, Habitat for Humanity, etc. and reach out to others in a way that does not concentrate on your looks or sexiness. Be around people of all ages and backgrounds. I know sometimes I just get too wrapped up in myself and doing some volunteer/church work to help others really helps clear my head and balance things out. Just a thought. Hang in there and things will work out.

Best wishes,

John Grigg

[bob_d]

I don't know what you look like. It could very well be that ecstasy has messed up your body; but it could also be that it's all in your head and you just don't like the way you look. My wife is 110lbs and she thinks she is fat. So try some of this stuff out.

so, then lets take a closer look at her postings:

i dont knw if this is in my mind cus people tell me im sexy and guys always be hittin me up in the club...but its hard to think of myself as sexy when dats not what i see and i see things that i knw are there..this is not one of those "oh i think im fat" when Im not really, ie anorexia

is imho a proof that quake is hot and underestimating her sexiness

I used to obsess about how skinny i i was and how "tweaked out" i used to look...i have gained a few pounds but im still slim cus ive always been slim my whole life but no longer obsess about my weight but more with the small inperfections i see about my face when i get close to the mirror (... )
anyways i noticed how my acne scars are worstening although i dont pick @ my face...and i feel all of these inperfections, looking tired and other issues are all long term effects of my previous drug use

can mean almost everything

my prev Dr tried putting me on different anti-depresants but i would stop taking them after a few weeks cus they would make me loose weight, make my eyes look glassy and make me look tweaked out like if i was using again
(...)
i just sometimes feel weird when i take vitamins, sometimes i get nauscious, and then I also feel like they make me look "dirty" like if da vitamins crack me out or somethin...u knw kinda like how people look all druggy after dat crazy weekend of rollin
(...)
...but I dont understand why when I would start meds like Zoloft, Cymbalta, etc i would start lookin all cracked out, so I would stop cus i would feel like it was causing damage because it was making me look physically wrong

describes things which normally don't happen and which are hint for some "real" disorder. of course quake can misinterpret things or maybe there is nothing and she just experiences sideeffects of the meds or something else causes that particular problems, but to me it sounds plausible what she is telling and her suspicion that extasy hurt her permanently isn't too far fetched, too. liver problems sometimes even cause some sort of depression.

i went to a new dr which he specializes on internal medicine...i told him everything and he started me on omega 3..da prescription kind named Omacor...has me taking b12, and im also taking zinc and folic acid

which again is a hint that she is pretty healthy and just overcirtical about her self.
but of course nobody is keeping her from takeing part at this community and keeping us thereby updated [sfty]

[luv2increase]

I think that you have a good doctor! Any doc that prescribes what has been subscribed to you is way ahead of the pact.

Keep up with the doc recommendations and exercise. Stay away from illegal and pharmaceutical mind-altering drugs. After awhile, all should be dandy.

Good luck!

[shuffleup]

I think that you have a good doctor!  Any doc that prescribes what has been subscribed to you is way ahead of the pact. 

Keep up with the doc recommendations and exercise.  Stay away from illegal and pharmaceutical mind-altering drugs.  After awhile, all should be dandy.

Good luck!

No kidding! I've not ever found a doc who recommended anything other than meds for various conditions (other than exercise).

[michelfirth]

I’ve been a long time user and fan of MDMA, but I don’t like the negative side effects and health problems that are associated with it; so I was in route for a legal healthier alternative. I tried a lot of legal products on the market, but it was all hype. The closest thing on the market is a product called, Trip2Night that can give you similar euphoric effects and lasts around 5 to 6 hours.

http://www.narcomund...asy/trip2night/

[medicineman]

Ecstasy users have failed to match their non ecstasy controls in various memory tests, in numerous studies. ALthough it would be hard to eliminate confounding factors, but it is pretty much conclusive, ecstasy messes with your short term recall, while cannabis for example, has failed to show that it deteriorates memory when you quit. Ecstasy users have shown a lag in short term memory up to a year (or 6 months) after abstinence. As of imaging studies, there are no imaging studies showing any difference between MDMA users and non users.....

No supplement is going to restore you. Exercise, abstaining from MDMA, and a good routine mental workout, adhered to on a strict basis is fundamental for drug exposed brains...... The brain has a brilliant capacity to repair itself. I know people who have taken over 1000 pills over many years, and seem to have recovered well. Some were pursuing professional degrees, and they managed to get through it. Could they have done better than what they have achieved if they had not started on ecstasy, I say yes..... But that is just a guess.... I would say time, a good routine, and abstinence is key mate.