Just to warn you all beforehand, this will be one of those "help me find a regime" kind of threads that you so often read on this forum. So there, I've told you, don't blame me if you become annoyed.
Anyways, I'm 19 years old male from Sweden (so I apologize for my english) and all my life I've been extremely amotivated, almost to the point of extreme. I've never done anything in school really, not anything. Though I love science and wish to devote my life to it I've never ever made an effort even when I found the subject interesting (and I often do when it comes to anything academically). Fortunately I was born with enough intelligence, or luck heh, to finish school with half-decent grades. Now you probably hear of this kind of procrastination all the time and no doubt I'm lazy but it goes beyond that. I even procrastinate from things I like, like playing video games or reading books that I want to read. It's too much of an effort to even do what I enjoy most of the time. I often go hungry all day because I'm too amotivated even to go to the d*mn refrigerator and make myself a lousy sandwich.
This amotivation comes and goes, I remember times where I could not even go brush my teeth, and then I've had times where I trained 4-5 hours per day for a couple of months with extreme motivation. Though these "motivated" periods are far and few inbetween. It took me 1.5 years of reading this forum before I actually had the motivation to make this post even though I've thought of doing it since I first browsed imminst. Naturally one would assume that I'm depressed but I don't feel depressed, not in the clinical illness sense anyways. Granted, I'm not as happy as I was a couple of years ago but I reckon that's from all the anxiety I get from realising how much time I've lost doing absolutely nothing. Perhaps I should add that my father is an asperger and I know a doctor who thinks I'm one too, though I don't feel like it.
Supplement wise I've tried lots of different things. Fishoil, DMAE, ortho mind, all the available 'racetams, S.S.R.I. Rhodiola Rosea yet these havn't helped me.
I emplore you, fellow transhumanists to help me with this. Just recommend anything, I'm getting really really desperate. I have a university test in 2 months that'll either make or break my dreams in becoming an M.D and I don't have the will to study. I just do nothing all day, sleep for many hours then never feel energetic. I really feel like sh*t because all of this.
Well thanks however you may respond.