18 replies to this topic

[Yearningforyears]

Hello. This message is from me to you all, as a sequel to the very much confused and psychosis-like "the djahnman"-topic.
I really have no idea why or how exactly this has happened now, but since friday I am not afraid of people or thougts anymore.
To try my theory out I just did a cigarette-experiment. All it did was give me a huge body load, but none of the previously sought after (and shortly provided psychological effects as increasing mental clarity and existing in the true reality (true self).
I saw this guy walking on the street (about six meters away), and he reminded me of someone I know as a friend. Before this friday´s events it would have been extremely distressing to just look at him (even if sure about that it was my friend walking there). He looked at me and I looked at him in a curious way.
Mind: Hi, who are you? Do I know you? No, probably not... oh why bother. I hope you´re having a good time. (We did not verbally interact.)
Suddenly he stops to greet and share a hug with a woman (what I suppose to be his girlfriend). I feel happy for them and know that they like being in each others company. It all looks very nice and beautiful. Love, friendship or whatever it might have been.
I remembered how I had felt about this kind of scenario before. Don´t look at me! Is it him? I can´t look at him... Oh no he has seen me... Was it my "friend"? Shit, what if it was? Dammit, now I must go and talk to him and act nice.... Those kind of strange things would occur. Negative beliefs in that situation that would have been greatly reduced, had a cigarette been smoked just about then.
Wow... Life really begins now

So what was the meaning with writing all of these topics here? Well, there were at the moment noone else to talk to and I didn´t want to risk seeming like a complete lunatic to my friends / workplace. Plus... The analysis of what had happened was not fully done either, but now it is.
DMAE has been stopped since 3 days and bacopa since about a week. Did those two substances do this to me? Who knows... The new clarity remains. I am free

[Yearningforyears]

Allright... Replying to your own topics is one thing of getting things said. But well... This is so interesting that I just can´t let it be.
Think about it... The brains of schizophrenics are shown to have a lower amount of acetylcholine receptors (just read about it on google after a random search).
In those with parkinsons disease there is a lowered dopaminergic activity. They can have delusions,hallucinations when recieving proper treatment,that increase the DA-activity.
Schizophrenics can in turn get parkinson-like symptoms (trembling, stiff movements).
This could explain why the schizophrenic smoker gets relief from those cigs. The nicotine binds to the acetylcholine receptors, which (seems like a paradox) increases the dopaminergic activity but... the dopamine is released from cholinergic neurons in the sustantia nigra (in the brain), which is a rather small portion of the brain.
I believe that there is some pleasure from this DA-release, but also from the effect of a short lived equilibrium between cholinergic neurons and dopaminergic activity.
A form of ACh-DA balance could be achieved, which is a good thing. Balance is great, and is exactly what I feel like. In harmony with myself and my surroundings.
No delusions anymore. Hello world hello people
Have my supplements in some way restored cholinergic activity? Could smoking in itself downregulate cholinergic activity, so that the risk of developing certain forms of mental unhealth increases?

[abelard lindsay]

Allright... Replying to your own topics is one thing of getting things said. But well... This is so interesting that I just can´t let it be.
Think about it... The brains of schizophrenics are shown to have a lower amount of acetylcholine receptors (just read about it on google after a random search).
In those with parkinsons disease there is a lowered dopaminergic activity. They can have delusions,hallucinations when recieving proper treatment,that increase the DA-activity.
Schizophrenics can in turn get parkinson-like symptoms (trembling, stiff movements).
This could explain why the schizophrenic smoker gets relief from those cigs. The nicotine binds to the acetylcholine receptors, which (seems like a paradox) increases the dopaminergic activity but... the dopamine is released from cholinergic neurons in the sustantia nigra (in the brain), which is a rather small portion of the brain.
I believe that there is some pleasure from this DA-release, but also from the effect of a short lived equilibrium between cholinergic neurons and dopaminergic activity.
A form of ACh-DA balance could be achieved, which is a good thing. Balance is great, and is exactly what I feel like. In harmony with myself and my surroundings.
No delusions anymore. Hello world hello people
Have my supplements in some way restored cholinergic activity? Could smoking in itself downregulate cholinergic activity, so that the risk of developing certain forms of mental unhealth increases?

80% of people with schizophrenia smoke:

http://www.mydr.com....sp?article=3076

A far healthier way to enhance choline take Alpha-GPC regularly. Acetyl-L-Carnitine helps too. Being a severely choline deficient person myself I have at sometimes felt REALLY good after taking Acetyl-L-Carnitine. Also, try some of the other racetams' My choline deprived brain has also been affected positively by oxiracetam.

Edited by abelard lindsay, 10 April 2008 - 04:19 PM.

[Yearningforyears]

A far healthier way to enhance choline take Alpha-GPC regularly. Acetyl-L-Carnitine helps too. Being a severely choline deficient person myself I have at sometimes felt REALLY good after taking Acetyl-L-Carnitine. Also, try some of the other racetams' My choline deprived brain has also been affected positively by oxiracetam.

Some months ago I would just have laughed at that Idea... Taking choline and everything, just to feed the whole supplement industry (shady business in my, at the moment, closed eyes). Now it seems like the best thing that ever happened to me. Is the world starting to "outsmart" convential therapy, or rather on the verge of finding new ways of treating disease and symptoms? Don´t feel like going into details too much with this quesition, but I suppose that it was pretty clear without sounding all too halleluja <img src='http://www.imminst.o..._DIR#>/wink.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':p' />

Edited by chrono, 26 October 2010 - 10:04 AM.
fixed quote tag

[Phreak]

Hello. This message is from me to you all, as a sequel to the very much confused and psychosis-like "the djahnman"-topic.
I really have no idea why or how exactly this has happened now, but since friday I am not afraid of people or thougts anymore.
To try my theory out I just did a cigarette-experiment. All it did was give me a huge body load, but none of the previously sought after (and shortly provided psychological effects as increasing mental clarity and existing in the true reality (true self).
I saw this guy walking on the street (about six meters away), and he reminded me of someone I know as a friend. Before this friday´s events it would have been extremely distressing to just look at him (even if sure about that it was my friend walking there). He looked at me and I looked at him in a curious way.
Mind: Hi, who are you? Do I know you? No, probably not... oh why bother. I hope you´re having a good time. (We did not verbally interact.)
Suddenly he stops to greet and share a hug with a woman (what I suppose to be his girlfriend). I feel happy for them and know that they like being in each others company. It all looks very nice and beautiful. Love, friendship or whatever it might have been.
I remembered how I had felt about this kind of scenario before. Don´t look at me! Is it him? I can´t look at him... Oh no he has seen me... Was it my "friend"? Shit, what if it was? Dammit, now I must go and talk to him and act nice.... Those kind of strange things would occur. Negative beliefs in that situation that would have been greatly reduced, had a cigarette been smoked just about then.
Wow... Life really begins now

So what was the meaning with writing all of these topics here? Well, there were at the moment noone else to talk to and I didn´t want to risk seeming like a complete lunatic to my friends / workplace. Plus... The analysis of what had happened was not fully done either, but now it is.
DMAE has been stopped since 3 days and bacopa since about a week. Did those two substances do this to me? Who knows... The new clarity remains. I am free

Nicholas, I have social phobia as well and I would be really grateful if you could give me the details of what you believe got you to this point? Which particular Nootropic you took when, in what dose, and for how long etc...

I know it's hard because it seems you yourself don't understand the workings behind this miracle, but if there is anything you could possibly pin-point in down on, please, let me know.

I suffer from social anxiety and it's become slowly more debilitating over the years. I take 2-6mg Clonazepam daily - which I hate as I know it ust masks the problem - and it would be great to try something more 'natural' that completely (or to an extent) eliminates the problem 'naturally'. I've tried Self-Help courses, Acupuncture, a variety of supplements and I have just begun seeing a hypnotherapist; and I'm becoming slightly cynical of all of these, as I have had this for so long and nothing seems to help.

Hopefully you've by now been able to pinpoint what it might be that has somehow eradicated your social phobia, and if you have any more information I would love to hear it Thanks

[abelard lindsay]

Nicholas, I have social phobia as well and I would be really grateful if you could give me the details of what you believe got you to this point? Which particular Nootropic you took when, in what dose, and for how long etc...

Here's the Djahaman Topic from Earlier were he describes most of what he did:

http://www.imminst.o...showtopic=21301

Edited by abelard lindsay, 13 April 2008 - 06:04 PM.

[lynx]

Nicholas, I think you need to show these posts to a psychiatrist and share these discoveries. This stuff is cool. Really, share them with some people who know you.

[mouse pad]

Dopamine abnormalities are seen in schizophrenia. It is believed that there is too much dopamine in the limbic system and too little dopamine in the frontal cortex.

Anyway, I'm a little concerned. I know you feel fantastic, and that's great, but you may also be having an manic or some sort of episode. I'm not so sure it's the nootropics or supplements that you are taking. It might be good to let your psychiatrist know what's up.

Edited by mouse pad, 14 April 2008 - 01:22 AM.

[yuri35434]

The supplements you took could have caused a schizophrenic episode. The rhodiola extract is a COMT inhibitor, and low COMT activity has been suggested as contributor to schizophrenia. Lowering COMT activity even more might have made things worse. Coca & Choline precursors might have caused additional dopamine release.



Please see a psychiatrist about this; if you do have a problem then they can treat you.

[woly]

would lecithen be a good way of boosting choline too? is it the same as these alpha GPC products only less potent?

[Lurker]

Of all the substances he listed he was using, "dmae" is only one with documented relations to mania.

[Phreak]

Okay, so I read the other thread, but I'm getting the general idea here that it was the DMAE that you reckon helped the most...? Am I right there?

Also, thinking about it, this does seem like a miracle. Not to sound bad but it could be some sort of euphoric-mania or something, even if it's died down (although, to be honest, I doubt that).

If you can find any more info on what might have made you feel this way, please lemme know!

[Lurker]

Okay, so I read the other thread, but I'm getting the general idea here that it was the DMAE that you reckon helped the most...? Am I right there?

Also, thinking about it, this does seem like a miracle. Not to sound bad but it could be some sort of euphoric-mania or something, even if it's died down (although, to be honest, I doubt that).

If you can find any more info on what might have made you feel this way, please lemme know!

Anti-Depresents have the biggest rap for inducing mania, the pharmacutical kind.

[graatch]

A far healthier way to enhance choline take Alpha-GPC regularly

Nicotinic acetylcholine is very different than muscarinic.

[Yearningforyears]

Nicholas, I think you need to show these posts to a psychiatrist and share these discoveries. This stuff is cool. Really, share them with some people who know you.

I have been thinking a lot about doing this. Not many of my friends are interested in medicine (especially the herbal "junkie"-labeled ones) and then we have the medical community, which probably would be 100 times more difficult to convince.
Hopefully there is some way to spread knowledge about this. The whole experience is that I´ve realized that reality can be changed and chosen. These insights will be of some help.
Mental status for the time being is not so good. Thoughts are becoming anti-social, paranoid, disorganized and distorted again (back to baseline in other words). Dammit... Did a new cigarette experiment, and effects were as usual (a little more aware of the "real" world, increasing creativity, heightened sociability). Guess it´s gotu kola time in a couple of hours.
Some sources warn that it can cause increases in cholesterol and blood sugar. Just like olanzapine, which is an anti-psychotic.
This is confusing. Imagine being able to change your reality (without taking hallucinogens).


Another thing: There was this guy in the street taking a lot of pictures of me today, when I sat on the bus. Maybe he was just interested in the bus, but he took a LOT of shots at me, while moving a couple of meters every time. I even tried to hide my face at one time, but he just followed my every move and walked "behind" me.
I thought :"hey this i ridiculous... why am I seeing this guy as a threat interested in me?"
Suddenly I look behind and there he is, with the camera right in my direction (taking pictures). That is strange... Could all be circumstantial but it got me really anxious.
Maybe he just used me as an object of reference, while trying his new equipment? (trying abelards advice)
It felt as if he wanted me to see him taking those photos. Guess there are a lot of lunatics out there ;D

cheers! tea time

[kiriel]

Nicholas, I think you need to show these posts to a psychiatrist and share these discoveries. This stuff is cool. Really, share them with some people who know you.

I have been thinking a lot about doing this. Not many of my friends are interested in medicine (especially the herbal "junkie"-labeled ones) and then we have the medical community, which probably would be 100 times more difficult to convince.
Hopefully there is some way to spread knowledge about this. The whole experience is that I´ve realized that reality can be changed and chosen. These insights will be of some help.
Mental status for the time being is not so good. Thoughts are becoming anti-social, paranoid, disorganized and distorted again (back to baseline in other words). Dammit... Did a new cigarette experiment, and effects were as usual (a little more aware of the "real" world, increasing creativity, heightened sociability). Guess it´s gotu kola time in a couple of hours.
Some sources warn that it can cause increases in cholesterol and blood sugar. Just like olanzapine, which is an anti-psychotic.
This is confusing. Imagine being able to change your reality (without taking hallucinogens).


Another thing: There was this guy in the street taking a lot of pictures of me today, when I sat on the bus. Maybe he was just interested in the bus, but he took a LOT of shots at me, while moving a couple of meters every time. I even tried to hide my face at one time, but he just followed my every move and walked "behind" me.
I thought :"hey this i ridiculous... why am I seeing this guy as a threat interested in me?"
Suddenly I look behind and there he is, with the camera right in my direction (taking pictures). That is strange... Could all be circumstantial but it got me really anxious.
Maybe he just used me as an object of reference, while trying his new equipment? (trying abelards advice)
It felt as if he wanted me to see him taking those photos. Guess there are a lot of lunatics out there ;D

cheers! tea time

What mental software are you running?

[Yearningforyears]

Man... I wrote a long message and it got all deleted thanks to that touch pad

My mental software has some malignant code in it indeed. This manic episode has given me a lot of insight, which can hopefully be used as coping tools to help keep me more around the normal levels. What a ride it was. Most was pleasurable (guess mania often is).

Here is (not the djahnmans) malignant software (or possible cause of it)

Trauma -> victimization ---> submissive behavior. This disrupts my emotional development for others and myself as well. (trust issues...)
Age of 9: Tics are starting to develop and computer games consume my mind (escape from reality).
Age of 13: My first seizure. Happens while asleep. Most terrifying experience in my life. I stop breathing at one time and experience death (no tunnel though).
Some more seizures follow and at bedtime only. Guess what? Now I´m absolutely scared to death to fall asleep. Not a good thing...
Age 12-beyond: Demands start coming from my father. He´s got a lot of plans for me, but probably feels like a failure when I´m unable to live up to them. Sometimes I can, but that´s also the only way for me to really feel loved by him (classic isn´t it...). Because of my ADD (or what the hell is "wrong" with me) it gets him even more
frustrated, to the point where I develop a parental alienation-like thing.
Being a submissive person I alienate my parents and start working on my false grandiose self. (sure you can hurt me but you can never hurt ME)
OCD appears: Obsession about hair, which I think is a fear of turning into my father, which I to a degree has alienated. (he is somewhat bald by then)
Age of 19 something: Ah here comes the first panic attack while falling asleep on the train. (it feels like a seizure). EVERYBODY will think I´m CRAZY! Oh my god I´m losing control... heeeelp. ---> Social phobia (controlled childhood probably does not help either).
Age 19 and beyond: All these issues play tricks on my mind, and they are connected in one way or another. (Paranoia could be from social phobia, which is caused by father complex, trauma and panic attacks. All these things...

This is my software code, and I can´t recommend that you download it.
For over two years I have been searching for the cure. I think gotu kola is a good relaxing agent and that my combination induced a manic episode that was useful for me (must have been the DMAE). Maybe the mania passed on rather smoothly because coping skills were somewhat developed from the beginning. So... When it all began going "crazy" all fear was gone. Who the hell was I? True self or false self... A spiritual experience is maybe a better word for it.

[Yearningforyears]

Hi!
I´ve made some notes a while ago when trying to find the cause of remission. Man... For a while I feared the spell was broken, but here we go again. It´s got the description for mania in it for sure, but it feels normal. I don´t spend money excessively and overall behavior is not reckless.
Other from going the chemical route I have also read up on every imaginable personality disorder out there. At one time it seemed like the narcissistic disorder was the closest one. Plowing through the litterature and doing a crazy amount of introspection could have contributed to this phenomenon(but it seems unlikely). Maybe it was late brain development? Some wires finally deciding to make a smart move?
Gonna go look for my notes. I´ll be back =)

[Lurker]

Cyclothymia

Your described manifestations of parinoia are examples of how mania could lead you to make some questionable behavior. It's impossible to tell if your mind is telling you the truth.