I want to second the recommendations of cognitive therapy and exercise. Until you build up a habit of regular exercise, you're really missing out on possibly the most important natural mood regulator after healthy sleep habits. First, to put it in chemical terms, think of it as an endless supply of endo-cannabinoids, endorphins, and mental and physical energy with no negative side effects (as long as you don't go wrecking your knees). Also think of your body and brain as a network of tubes and pools where bad chemicals need to get flushed out and fresh air, good chemicals, and nutrients need to be carried in. Exercise is the only way to get enough circulation to move out the stale stuff that's clogging your synapses, and causing secondary inflammation and toxic reactions all over your body.
Getting up the habit is hard when you're depressed. You need to convince yourself that you'll feel better afterwards, even though the thought of getting up and going through the exertion just makes you want to go to sleep. This obstacle won't go away until your body has been convinced, at which point it'll beg you to exercise it. But until then you just need to cling to the idea: my urges tell me to sit here, but I know that those urges are a chemical malfunction that'll be helped in 30 minutes by the exercise.
My strategy for getting past the inertia was to break it down into small actions and accentuate the rewards. My reward was a cup of cocoa afterwards, since cocoa keeps the endo-cannabinoids in circulation longer. Breaking it down into small actions:
- Stand up at your computer and do some squats, or jumping jacks. You'll tire quickly but you'll feel a hint of exhiliration. Seize the moment and take that small amount of adrenaline and run to the next step:
- Find an interesting, maybe even ridiculous activity that you can do for at least 25 minutes. The first few minutes are about overcoming inertia. Then it's about being in a groove. Then after about 25 minutes or so (depending on your fitness level) you'll get your reward: a flood of pleasure chemicals (aka "runners high"). If you can, stick with it until about 40 mins -- that last 15-20 mins really helps it go smoothly the next time (2 days later). If you choose a mildly strenuous activity like house-cleaning instead of going outside to run or whatever, you might not get the high, but you may still get into that groove.
Try for every other day. When you get to the point where you find yourself craving it, seize that moment and start going every day, but do a different activity so you don't exhaust the same muscle group (that leads to burnout).
I'm not saying this is the only answer. But if you're not regulating your body like this, that endless cycle of new drug cocktails is going to keep draining you.
Mental tricks, of convincing yourself to take just one more step, and choosing that step so it gets you incrementally closer to a modest goal, will slowly but surely build up your coping skills and bring you various kinds of relief. Think "Shawshank Redemption". Check out David Allen's "Getting Things Done". Chemicals can be amazing but you sound like you know better than any of us that they're only part of the picture.
BTW I started inching into exercise about 5 years ago, and am only in the last year going to the gym every day. I'm 30 years old, and I never liked sports or exertion. It was only when I realized that "runners high" actually meant "the benefits of marijuana for free and without consequences" that I got interested in exercise, and now I'm more fit than I've ever been, and my mood compared to before is like night and day.
Edited by mikeh, 07 May 2009 - 06:02 AM.
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