11 replies to this topic

[Luna]

Ever feel very sad or afraid for the possibility of losing your loved ones, like your mother or father, grandparents?
Those who have less chance, those who might have told you they don't want it or don't care and won't even try anything, not even cryonics?

Ever feel that you might as well (unless you already are, as most here are older than me) just lose everyone you know now and you aren't sure how you will paint your new future, even though you know you are NEVER giving up even if they do or even if they were lost?

Ever feel that you miss them already as if they are gone, even though they are still there?

[niner]

Ever feel very sad or afraid for the possibility of losing your loved ones, like your mother or father, grandparents?
Those who have less chance, those who might have told you they don't want it or don't care and won't even try anything, not even cryonics?

Ever feel that you might as well (unless you already are, as most here are older than me) just lose everyone you know now and you aren't sure how you will paint your new future, even though you know you are NEVER giving up even if they do or even if they were lost?

Ever feel that you miss them already as if they are gone, even though they are still there?

Hi Luna. I think that people have felt some of these things since the dawn of time, or at least since humans became aware of their mortality. (Which probably happened well before we were human.) The thing that's different today is that we are the first generation of people on Earth who have at least some finite chance of seeing a degree of control over aging within our lifetimes. For older people alive today, it's particularly poignant because they are among the last generations that will necessarily have to die. At least they, like the thousands of generations that came before them, have had a lifetime of psychological conditioning that will help them deal with it. That might be different for us; we have this virtual carrot dangling in front of us, even though it does not yet exist, that's telling us we could live forever. Maybe that's keeping us from developing the kind of psychology we need to deal with what may be our own mortality as well; I don't know.

The loved ones who surround you and make up what is your life aren't ever going to be static. People move in and out of our lives, some by dying and some just by drifting away. All we can do is let them know that we love them while they are here. Also know that your life will constantly change, with new people coming into it as well. My father in law's birthday is tomorrow. He'll be 91 years old. There is not a single person that he knew as a child who is alive today, but he just keeps making new friends. He and I will be going out to breakfast tomorrow, as we do every Friday. Sometimes I talk to him about transhumanism, but I steer away from talking about immortality. I don't want to muddy the waters for him, because he's not about to get on that bus. It doesn't matter, though. He's happy and has family and friends, just different ones than he had when he was a kid. I know I'll miss him when he's gone, but for now I just try to enjoy him while he's around. I don't know if I'm engaging in denial, or compartmentalization, or what. I think it's probably what most people do.

I hope that your fear of losing people doesn't keep you from loving them while they are around; that would be sad.

[Cyberbrain]

Ever feel very sad or afraid for the possibility of losing your loved ones, like your mother or father, grandparents?
Those who have less chance, those who might have told you they don't want it or don't care and won't even try anything, not even cryonics?

Ever feel that you might as well (unless you already are, as most here are older than me) just lose everyone you know now and you aren't sure how you will paint your new future, even though you know you are NEVER giving up even if they do or even if they were lost?

Ever feel that you miss them already as if they are gone, even though they are still there?

I do almost all the time, but I try to push it out of my mind, hoping that as I get older (and more richer/powerful) I would be able to help them.

The worst part is that even if I can convince them to accept something like cryonics, it would be a challenge for my relatives and grandparents to travel all the way to the US for it (let alone pay the huge cost of all it).

Only thing to do is take care of your self and hope that you'll either be able to convince them (I think it may also be possible to cryopreserve family members without consent) or hope that longevity technologies are invented quickly.

But overall, don't think about, just enjoy every moment.

[Luna]

The loved ones who surround you and make up what is your life aren't ever going to be static. People move in and out of our lives, some by dying and some just by drifting away.

I already know people are not static, I pretty much have changed all my friends several times now but there are people like my mother and my father which I know the feeling will be different if they are gone. :/
They are in their 50s.. who knows.. although I am afraid for myself at 20, doesn't feel good.

Even if she somehow decided to agree for it, her boyfriend is over 10 years older than her, I think I can finally understand how hard it would be for her even though I don't see a reason to say no because of it, it's still hard.

[rephore]

The loved ones who surround you and make up what is your life aren't ever going to be static. People move in and out of our lives, some by dying and some just by drifting away.

I already know people are not static, I pretty much have changed all my friends several times now but there are people like my mother and my father which I know the feeling will be different if they are gone. :/
They are in their 50s.. who knows.. although I am afraid for myself at 20, doesn't feel good.

Even if she somehow decided to agree for it, her boyfriend is over 10 years older than her, I think I can finally understand how hard it would be for her even though I don't see a reason to say no because of it, it's still hard.

Immortality should arrive well in time for them. I wouldn't worry.

[chris w]

Ever feel very sad or afraid for the possibility of losing your loved ones, like your mother or father, grandparents?
Those who have less chance, those who might have told you they don't want it or don't care and won't even try anything, not even cryonics?

I feel the way you do Luna, especially about my mom ( me and my father have never been very close for strong reasons ), but on the other hand she seems to be one of those people in the last category - who don't really care and won't try anything. I once talked to her about transhumanism, starting from the little uncontroversial things like virtual reality, cool talking robots etc, but when I got to the longevity / immortality part, making it clear from the start that it would not mean living in decrepitude for centuries, and that it would be a possibility, not a must, she asked at one moment "But why would you want it, Chris ?". And I just felt speechless for a second, beacause there was something incomprehensible to me in my own mother asking me, why do I want to be alive and not dead, it felt like we were talking to each other from cosmically different perspectives.

Now I think of it, our goal here, like an important journey that one embarks on, and wants his/her close ones to go as well, but if they choose not to for whatever reason, you still should get on that ship. I know my mom has had a full, happy life despite struggling with a failed marriage, and if she feels that it's the way it should be - to just fade into the darkness one day ( she is an agnostic leaning towards atheism ), that this is the rightful destiny of a human being then, as much as it hurts me, I cannot make her not feel this way. Maybe it's just rationalizing on her side, perhaps she doesn't believe that all of this has a chance, the technology saving us from death, but I also accept the possibility that she has a totally different mindset to mine on this, and it's something that I just can't fight if I have respect for her, even if it saddens me.

Edited by chris w, 13 May 2010 - 04:32 PM.

[Luna]

Chris,

I don't think your mother doesn't want to live and I even more doubt she meant that she wouldn't want you to live forever either.

She needs another chance, like you said, she been through a lot and everyone feels like they want to fade from time to time.. Feeling how hopeless it might be, the feeling might get stronger and the true feelings might hide because of the scary reality, fear and hopelessness.

I talked to my mother about this several times and she was not against it but she doubts this can happen. I don't blame her :/

My mother has a boyfriend and her life are more cheerful (even though right now her boyfriend is in the hospital and she is through hard time again), I am sure she would love to be young again. I think that a lot of things she hopes she seems to trying to accomplish through me - by caring for me and loving me and helping me succeed.

I would love all of my family to manage to get to the LEV and hopefully never die, be immortal and live forever. My grandma doesn't seem to want this but she's a bit weird and also been through a lot.. she thinks she knows everything and she thinks nature has its balance and destroys unbalanced stuff or something, well, this is not a reason not to want it or not to try so I believe there is something else to it.

My point is, if they had a second chance to be young and do everything and get over their hardships, they would. They are just like us.
You know, I am always amazed how every time I discover mom is more and more like me (or I am like her?).. kinda makes me be very sensitive to her feelings in a special way.

I do have friends who seems to don't care and say it out loudly and sound confident, but sometimes they say things which seem to translate their previous lack of care to only "not care because they don't believe it can be done - but if you can do it, SURE! OF COURSE" - I find this bit odd and ugly to say one thing just of hiding the other or just of fear.. funny it's only the guys who ever said this, all girls seems to LOVE the idea of living forever and being young forever.

[shadowhawk]

Ever feel very sad or afraid for the possibility of losing your loved ones, like your mother or father, grandparents?
Those who have less chance, those who might have told you they don't want it or don't care and won't even try anything, not even cryonics?

Ever feel that you might as well (unless you already are, as most here are older than me) just lose everyone you know now and you aren't sure how you will paint your new future, even though you know you are NEVER giving up even if they do or even if they were lost?

Ever feel that you miss them already as if they are gone, even though they are still there?

I am the last member of my family (5) alive. They have all died of different accidents. I miss them all and echo your post.

[brokenportal]

Ever feel very sad or afraid for the possibility of losing your loved ones, like your mother or father, grandparents?
Those who have less chance, those who might have told you they don't want it or don't care and won't even try anything, not even cryonics?

Ever feel that you might as well (unless you already are, as most here are older than me) just lose everyone you know now and you aren't sure how you will paint your new future, even though you know you are NEVER giving up even if they do or even if they were lost?

Ever feel that you miss them already as if they are gone, even though they are still there?

yes, yes, and yes

[Kolos]

Yes, especially about my grandmother she's very old...

[ken_akiba]

You are the last one... I wouldn't know how would I have coped with such situation. On the lighter side (or possibly grimmer side...) whenever I think about these things, The Little Match Girl comes to my mind.

[N.T.M.]

I take my anti-aging program very seriously. So if the race becomes closer than I'd care for it to be, it's very possible that I'll find myself all alone. Everybody I know now would be dead. :(