I got ill when I was 17 for no obvious reason and started taking carmazepine (I have done brain scans that did come out clear). I did do well in school and maintained some social life although my interested for just abbot any thing was very limited after this point. I always thought that this hade something to do with the blow I received to my forehead when I had my first grand mal seizure and fell in the water from a low bridge. Maybe the whole experience messed me up psychological as well as I almost died. I also had the belief in my teens that all my problems was due to my medication and that I would be able to stop taking it when I realised that this would never happen I started to grasp the seriousness of my situation.
Now years later I feel as if I'm deprived of the quality of life others in my surrounding enjoys for a number of reason. Although I have fun some times I feel as if I'm hollow unable to relate to others I refrain completely from having devoted relationships to females because I feel as if its al an act on my part. It simply doesn't feel right I feel like a dishonest piece of shit my emotional act and what I have become disgust me and it becomes so obvious in this kind of situations. There is actually as strong connection between some anticonvulsant drugs and the development of narcissistic personality disorder. Some times I also feel tired, have lack of motivation (if I take a larger dose than what I'm us to this effect is stronger so its obvious that the medication cases it), feel as if life is completely meaningless and I'm the only one that realises it. It al makes med fell extremely lonely despite the fact that I'm not.
I would appreciate you're help. I know that people often refrain from giving advice to persons with epilepsy most likely because it's a serious disorder and having seizures might direct and indirect have serious consequences. I would like to make clear that I wouldn't do anything with out reading a lot, giving it careful consideration, discussing it with my doctor (she is actually grate and not much older than me and actually takes the time the to reads material I send to her), and most importantly I would not throw my drugs away (even though I like to). I suggest any one in my situation reading this do the same. I really think that a post of this sort is missing in this form considering that epilepsy is common and there are a lot to read here for people with other neurological disorders.
To start with I have tried the supplements that first comes to mind such as: Magnesium Malate and taurine (melatonin is something I'm interested in). This has helped me to some degree with my anxiety but has not improved my epilepsy significantly.
I have also tried combinations of supplements that might effect glutamate that is a key neurotransmitter in epilepsy by different mechanisms for instance: niacin, theanine, DHEA. This do have a clear anxiety effect but are not very useful in treating the actual seizures so I stopped talking it.
Now I'm trying to find out more abbot substances naturally present in brain possible to take as supplements and that easily passes the blood-brain barrier such as: SAM-e, naltrexone (LDN) and pregnenolone. It is possible the treat other disorders such depression, parkinson and others I cant see why epilepsy would be worse. Now pleas cure me!
Edited by RicardoW, 05 May 2010 - 10:22 PM.