I am in my mid-20s and just recently started graduate school. I've found myself having trouble with my coursework and studying due to problems with attention, concentration, and memory) and went to a psychiatrist to ask to try adderrall. However, since I have a bipolar I diagnosis, my psychiatrist thought that adderrall would trigger mania and instead suggested that my problems concentrating and with cognitive function are derivative of my untreated hypomania and she suggested that I begin taking lamictal.
I'm very highly functional, but do believe that I have a "bipolar tendency" and have learned to be careful of losing sleep, which I believe could prompt more serious manic episodes. A few years ago, I had a very serious manic episode that lasted for about 1-2 months. I wasn't hospitalized, but I did lose touch with reality in many ways and it was an experienced that taught me to be very cautious about losing sleep or letting my mind run too far away from reality. I think the experience was prompted by sleep deprivation (under 5 hours on average for several months). For this, I have an ambien prescription and control my sleep and take that every so often whenever I find myself getting less sleep than usual. Other than that, I am not taking anything to treat bipolar.
Though I'm mostly hypomanic, I do have some lows, but the lows are never as extreme as the highs.
I don't view my bipolar tendencies as a disability in any real sense and believe that it's part of a package that allows me to get very excited about ideas, be creative and work intensely on things that I am interested in. However, I do have trouble concentrating (especially if it's on coursework or for things that I don't find interesting) and I have noticed that I always have poor executive function and high distractibility that is driven by my high curiosity about the world and desire to connect together disparate ideas.
For this reason, I wanted to begin using adderrall on an "as-needed" basis, much as I use ambien. I wouldn't take it every day, but if I find that I have impending deadlines and am unable to concentrate on a single task, that I could use it to complete a piece of writing or an important assignment.
This has been kind of a long explanation, but I wanted to provide background. I'd be most interested in hearing anyone's thoughts on the following:
1) Is it absolutely crazy to try adderrall given that I am hypomanic/have bipolar tendencies? If not, how should I get it given that my current psychiatrist said no.
2) What do people think about my psychiatrist's explanation that my poor cognitive functioning is due to untreated bipolar?
3) Does anyone have opinions about using lamictal to improve concentration, focus, memory, etc.?
4) Are there any other medications that people recommend?
Thanks for everyone's time and attention. I'm excited to hear what people have to say.