13 replies to this topic

[nootropicthunder]

I obsess over irrational or stupid thought that is of negative consequence to me and it's usually one at a time for long periods of time. These thoughts are occupied by ritualistic behavior such as monitoring and examining myself excessively. I also believe that the anxiety caused by these thoughts have caused mild derealization. I remember these symptoms began back when I was about 14 playing on online video game, I remember getting overly obsessed with the unsolvable issue of high latency due to the distance I was from the servers.

The next negative obsession was about a drug called accutane that I took for my acne. I was extremely worried that it may stunt my growth as that is a listed symptom, which resulted me in partaking in body dysmorphic behaviors, such as measuring and comparing. Many negative thoughts was born from accutane such as the feeling I have been negatively altered in various ways, all which I obsessed over a for a lengthy time. A continued to researching online, seeking closure.

Another obsessive thought was the fear that I had been affected by my mothers drinking while she was pregnant, which led to further ritualist behavior, that used a lot of my days time. Even while evidence supports that I haven't been affected, I still worry as it's impossible to know for sure. Various possibilities race through my mind, some are irrational such as the thought of my mother is being dishonest about her drinking while pregnant which spikes my anxiety. I examine myself and if I find a slight match with a physical defect of fetal alcohol syndrome I freak out, such as small hands.There are a couple others I should mention but you get the point.

The worrying thoughts seem to creep up in waves, after a day of obsessing over these intrusive thoughts I might feel less anxious for a day or two. I only recently found out about derealization but I'm confident I've had it mildly since my teens. I've always thought to myself that 'I feel like I'm not here' at times, in those exact words.

Another thing I should mention, when I look in the mirror and picture my father, I can't picture him being shorter than me. It's as if my view of myself is distorted. Aswell at times I temporarily convince myself I have something wrong with me or something bad will happen to me even if the chance is so minor (this is refering to long periods of thoughts I obsess over nothing else). I do not think irrationally or obsessively about day to day tasks or anything else really, I seems to be only one main issue at a time.

I've only lately come to a realization that I may possibly have a mental illness and haven't looked into at all.

Edited by nootropicthunder, 22 October 2012 - 12:42 PM.

[Godof Smallthings]

You should see a mental health specialist and discuss your concerns. Australia has a great health care system in my experience. Whatever you have (or not), it can be fixed or at least your symptoms can be greatly improved. Don't hold off going. Just having taken that step, you'll feel much better afterwards. If you are reluctant or scared to go, try to think of the person you trust the most and ask them to go with you.

Try to stay off alcohol, weed and any other drugs you may be taking, as they won't help you in this situation.

[stablemind]

Yea that sounds a bit abnormal to me, but see a mental specialist. If they don't resolve your issues, then whatever problems you have remaining may be helped with supplements and off label treatments from here.

[dear mrclock]

mental illness ? more like excessively worried about things based on character. some people are sensitive to this i assume because of extra serotonin receptors in the brain and lack of synchonization with the rest of the neurotransmision. is this really "defect" ? definately born with it, but must be acquired over time. i assume you went through stressful periods in your life, particularly in puberty. reason i assume i might know this, i have read many reports of this before. all happened in puberty time (usually around or much later) based on nature + nurture. whats the solution ? definately not being drugged. DO NOT SEE PSYCHIATRISTS YOU WILL GET WORSE. i think you should work on it slowly step by step and try to blog it and try gather people to support you. i dunno of a "cure" but i do know i can support with this. count me in if you are still around.

Edited by dear mrclock, 26 October 2012 - 05:57 AM.

[stablemind]

mental illness ? more like excessively worried about things based on character. some people are sensitive to this i assume because of extra serotonin receptors in the brain and lack of synchonization with the rest of the neurotransmision. is this really "defect" ? definately born with it, but must be acquired over time. i assume you went through stressful periods in your life, particularly in puberty. reason i assume i might know this, i have read many reports of this before. all happened in puberty time (usually around or much later) based on nature + nurture. whats the solution ? definately not being drugged. DO NOT SEE PSYCHIATRISTS YOU WILL GET WORSE. i think you should work on it slowly step by step and try to blog it and try gather people to support you. i dunno of a "cure" but i do know i can support with this. count me in if you are still around.

Extra serotonin receptors? Where are you getting your information from? Sounds like complete broscience to me. Having the obsessive side of OCD can cause you to obsess over certain thoughts way too much and send you down a spiral. I recommend you see a psychiatrist, contrary to what the above poster recommends. Inositol seems to have some effect on OCD, and it wouldn't hurt to try. http://www.ncbi.nlm..../pubmed/8780431

[ablemaples]

I look at mindsets being sub-categories of our species evolutionary conquest to reach out for resources. I don't think OCD is an illness I see most mental states like introversion or extroversion as being two sides of the same coin. The problem occurs when you find that it is getting in the way of your goals and it becomes negative thoughts that lead to lower productivity which weakens neural pathways causing depression. Psychiatry tries to create an equilibrium but in my opinion that is not always the best way. The meds prescribed are mostly too strong and send people to another unbalanced state and you teeter taughter forever. the key is to take the least amount in order to get yourself motivated enough to strengthen your mind in the natural way. because somewhere in life or maybe in the womb you got thrown off.

[dear mrclock]

mental illness ? more like excessively worried about things based on character. some people are sensitive to this i assume because of extra serotonin receptors in the brain and lack of synchonization with the rest of the neurotransmision. is this really "defect" ? definately born with it, but must be acquired over time. i assume you went through stressful periods in your life, particularly in puberty. reason i assume i might know this, i have read many reports of this before. all happened in puberty time (usually around or much later) based on nature + nurture. whats the solution ? definately not being drugged. DO NOT SEE PSYCHIATRISTS YOU WILL GET WORSE. i think you should work on it slowly step by step and try to blog it and try gather people to support you. i dunno of a "cure" but i do know i can support with this. count me in if you are still around.

Extra serotonin receptors? Where are you getting your information from? Sounds like complete broscience to me. Having the obsessive side of OCD can cause you to obsess over certain thoughts way too much and send you down a spiral. I recommend you see a psychiatrist, contrary to what the above poster recommends. Inositol seems to have some effect on OCD, and it wouldn't hurt to try. http://www.ncbi.nlm..../pubmed/8780431

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5-HT2C

broscience lol learn some real science, bro

[stablemind]

mental illness ? more like excessively worried about things based on character. some people are sensitive to this i assume because of extra serotonin receptors in the brain and lack of synchonization with the rest of the neurotransmision. is this really "defect" ? definately born with it, but must be acquired over time. i assume you went through stressful periods in your life, particularly in puberty. reason i assume i might know this, i have read many reports of this before. all happened in puberty time (usually around or much later) based on nature + nurture. whats the solution ? definately not being drugged. DO NOT SEE PSYCHIATRISTS YOU WILL GET WORSE. i think you should work on it slowly step by step and try to blog it and try gather people to support you. i dunno of a "cure" but i do know i can support with this. count me in if you are still around.

Extra serotonin receptors? Where are you getting your information from? Sounds like complete broscience to me. Having the obsessive side of OCD can cause you to obsess over certain thoughts way too much and send you down a spiral. I recommend you see a psychiatrist, contrary to what the above poster recommends. Inositol seems to have some effect on OCD, and it wouldn't hurt to try. http://www.ncbi.nlm..../pubmed/8780431

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5-HT2C

broscience lol learn some real science, bro

So when I ask for a source you give me a link to a wikipedia entry without any references. Real science bro.

[dear mrclock]

stablemind im not sure what you want. i speculate it has to be dysfunction with whatever i posted YES FROM WIKI BOOO but quite a lot of references and knowledge to gather about. and i speculate this based on, long term experience with such people as the OP and some of them are quite close to me. if he doesnt wanna believe what i posted thats fine, but im not sure why you gotta force yourself into something you seem to have zero experience in and call me on reliable sources ? wtf. recomeding him a psychiatrist/psychologist is so much better ? how so ? they will not help him. they will drug him. and you say, drugging him is better than him "suffering" as you care ? you dont care if he suffers or not, you just want him off your shit dont you ? fine. you have freedom on this forum enough to recomend and try to manipulate as much as you wish.

[nootropicthunder]

Interesting replies. Lately I've been trying my hardest to keep my mind off the intrusive thoughts and it does seem to be working, however I don't see the thoughts miraculously stopping, as the core beliefs which are producing these thoughts are still there.

When I consider that I'm not in an ideal mental state it brings me some relief as it offers me a viable answer to the source of my issues. I do have a very low self esteem and confidence but in a normal range I believe, I've met many people that are worse off than me in this area. I do have mild social anxiety, where my heart races and mind freezes in social situations. I'm naturally an anxious person, same as my dad. Mother suffers from depression and possibly hypochondria, which may explain why my mind is how it is. Drug are a last resort and I'd like to mention for my case, I don't perceive it as severe but only mild and wouldn't consider drugs at this stage. I've had a very easy going life without any traumatic events so far being 19 years old, soon to be 20. Nothing to mention about my quality of life, as everything has been ideal except for my mind.

At times I become discouraged to do things that are productive in my life due to my intrusive obsessions, for example sitting in an exam sparks thoughts of my mother exposing me prenatally to alcohol which may have caused brain damage, and reduced my intelligence to a degree so little, that it's unmeasurable, but present. I had to quit going to the gym because it sparked my body dysmorphic symptoms which were unbearable. No doubt my obsessive thoughts are limiting my confidence and self esteem which is also greatly limiting my potential in life.

I may not even come close to having a mental illness but definitely do not have a healthy mind and I speculate that a combination of my parents unhealthy genetics are the result of my mind. I've found that writing about your problems puts things into a more accurate perspective for yourself to examine, which has helped me somewhat.

Edited by nootropicthunder, 28 October 2012 - 04:10 PM.

[Godot]

You're describing some generalized anxiety symptoms as well as some obsessive-compulsive symptoms. Based on your descriptions, you probably do meet criteria for a diagnosis of one or more anxiety disorders.

Psychiatric medications for anxiety are, in my opinion, still not so great. Some antidepressants have shown efficacy for OCD, but I don't particularly trust the SSRI literature due to massive publication bias in this area of research. So your best option for treatment would be to see a psychotherapist.

If you'd prefer to try and go it on your own, daily practice of mindfulness meditation would likely be very helpful. Here's a tutorial I wrote: http://davidgodot.co...ation-tutorial/

[RJ100]

I came to a similar realization last year. I'd suggest talking to someone - if nothing else it'll give you insight because most people cannot see themselves clearly.

As far as supplements, NAC + Vit C helps me deal with my anxiety, negativity and mild OCD. For me, it's not about how they make me feel - it's about what they stop me from feeling.

They're both are cheap and safe, so you don't have much to lose by giving them a shot.

[Bemiller16]

You're describing some generalized anxiety symptoms as well as some obsessive-compulsive symptoms. Based on your descriptions, you probably do meet criteria for a diagnosis of one or more anxiety disorders.

Psychiatric medications for anxiety are, in my opinion, still not so great. Some antidepressants have shown efficacy for OCD, but I don't particularly trust the SSRI literature due to massive publication bias in this area of research. So your best option for treatment would be to see a psychotherapist.

If you'd prefer to try and go it on your own, daily practice of mindfulness meditation would likely be very helpful. Here's a tutorial I wrote: http://davidgodot.co...ation-tutorial/

I was thinking GAD immediately and I would guess as well that you meet the criteria for at least GAD, if not OCD a well due to the ritualistic behaviors and body-checking. These disorders are often comorbid so it isn't surprising to see symptoms of both simultaneously. I agree that benzos are not an adequate solution especially due to the extraordinary tolerance that can be developed and severe withdrawal symptoms. I also agree that mindfulness meditation may help to keep you in a more relaxed state. However, I think that it is important, as many other members have noted, to see a mental health counselor or psychologist who can give you some skills to regulate your debilitating emotions.

[nupi]

Agreed, sounds like OCD to me. Unless you feel really on the edge of losing it, I would recommend to stay away from the benzos (they are, shall we say, too good to be true). Unlike others here, I would recommend to try SSRIs - at least for my GAD/pure O[1], they do wonders. Looking at the general side effect profiles, Escitalopram is a good place to start but you may need to try several - Escitalopram works very well for me but it makes me incredibly tired, right now I am seeing if Fluoxetine (Prozac) is a better option.

[1] I do not have any true compulsions, except for poking my nose and biting my nails, but those do not relieve me of anxiety in any appreciable way so I doubt that qualifies for the C part of OCD