12 replies to this topic

[thefirstimmortal]

The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife -- a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held.
-- Woody Allen, "The Early Essays," Without Feathers

[thefirstimmortal]

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large
deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
-- Woody Allen, "Selections from the Allen Notebooks," in New Yorker, Nov. 5, 1973

[thefirstimmortal]

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
-- Woody Allen, "My Philosophy," The New Yorker, Dec. 27, 1969

[thefirstimmortal]

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue
caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
-- Woody Allen, Without Feathers, 1975

[thefirstimmortal]

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the
worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an
underachiever.
-- Woody Allen (source unknown)

[thefirstimmortal]

In real life, Keaton believes in God. But she also believes that the
radio works because there are tiny people inside it.
-- Woody Allen, (source unknown)

[thefirstimmortal]

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work ... I want to
achieve it through not dying.
-- Woody Allen, quoted in: Edward Lax, Woody Allen and his Comedy, ch. 12 (1975),
quoted from The Columbia Dictionary of Quotations

[thefirstimmortal]

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Woody Allen

[thefirstimmortal]

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

[thefirstimmortal]

Woody Allen Sex between 2 people is a beautiful thing; between 5 it's fantastic.

[thefirstimmortal]

Woody Allen Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

[thefirstimmortal]

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
Woody Allen

[thefirstimmortal]

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
Woody Allen