LONGECITY

Hello,

 

my name is Trosar,

i'm a male, 31yo

 

my english is not my native language, so sorry for that, i will do my best for you to understand.

 

for the last 9 years (of hell) i'm suffering from complete anhedonia

that means that i dont enjoy doing anything in my life, and i dont have any motivation.

i'm not sad, bcz i cannot feel sad emotion, or happy emotions, or angry, i just like a zombie

i feel nothing.

when my brother got married, i was in the wedding, but i didnt feel a thing, i needed to ACT as happy

cause i didnt want people to notice, i've been acting for the last decade, my acting skills are amazing

but inside, i'm suffering, i cannot feel a thing.

 

last year my cat was killed in a car accident, and i didnt feel anthing, altough i "loved" this cat, and take for her for 5 years

i just didnt feel a thing about her death.

 

when friend ask me to come to visit or go somewhere, i come, but i dont feel a thing, i dont ejnoy a good meal

or movie, i dont enjoy staying there, i'm just there cause they asked me to

i laugh with them , but i dont feel enjoy while laughing.

 

i cannot masturbate, cause my penis is numb, i cannot feel anything down there

its almost dead, and sometimes, lets say 2 times a month, i can feel 10% there

so then, i masturbate, with not alot of pleasure from the orgasm.

sure, i dont have sex, cause i dont need it, i never get horny, and never need sex

i cannot love or be in a relationship with anyone, cause i dont see the point in it

its feels stupid, cause i dont enjoy, and i can say that when girls kiss me - i dont feel anything

its like a robot, they feel like a pillow, i hug them, but dont want to, cause i dont have any desire for them

i cannot love or even like anyone, cause i dont have those feelings.

 

over the years i have tried 1029209 types of supplemts and prescription drugs

i figured out that my problem is related to Dopamine

so i tried just everything that related to Dopamine.

like: L-tyrosine, DLPA, L-Theanine, Mucuna, B6

also my Dr. prescribed me with Levodopa, and Wellbutrin

Levodopa gave me 3 years ago a feeling of enjoyment for the first time

i felt amazing that day, i felt like life is enjoyable again

i was so happy, but after 3 days, it all gone again, and levodopa didnt work anymore.

after that i tried Wellbutrin, and i was amazed, it kicked in within 2 days, and i felt alive

really alive for the first time in that 9 years of hell

i could enjoy masturbate again, i regain my penile sensitivity again

i enjoied lauging with people, and just enjoy the feeling of well being.

i contiune to took wellbutrin, 1 day with, 1 day without

to keep it working, and it did, for 6 months, it was working for me

and i felt 60% my old self again, it was enough,

 

then, something happend in my life that got me into huge panic attack

i couldnt live with it, my Dr. gave me Ativan 1mg a day

i took it for 1 year, and stopped taking the wellbutrin, cause it made my anxiety worse.

so while on the Ativan, i felt even better, i dont know why, but it was good

but after 1 years i came back to be anhedonic again, i stopped the ativan after very slow taper (it took me 4 months to taper)

and i didnt have any side effects while tappering that slow.

 

as long as i know myself, i always had trouble sleeping at night, i had bad insomnia for all my life

but on ativan i could sleep well.

after i stopped ativan, i thought now it will be harder to sleep

but no, now i'm tierd all day long, i get in bed and sleep in 2 mintues,

and i cant understand how that happend, i'm with no Ativan for 6 months now, and all i feel is so tierd and sleppy.

 

i tried Wellbutrin 1 month ago, but now, its seems that anything i take to raise dopamine

just dont effect me at all!!

 

its so strange, i tried everything, but even Wellbutrin just give me bad feeling, and even makes me feel more anhedonia

when i first tried wellbutrin, it worked like a miracle,

but now - just nothing

its seems like my brain has change after quitting ativan

i now suffer even worse anhedonia than i had before ativan

and nothing help!

 

i'm willing to try just anything, i'm willing to do just anything

i want to live, i want to feel alive, i dont want money, i dont want anything

i just want to wake up and feel like a human being, like i felt 9 years ago.

 

can you guys help me?

please suggest anything on your mind

my Dr. is a good friend of mine, he is willing to prescribe just anything to help me

so i dont have problem in that area.

 

What can i do?

i cannot live like that.

 

 

Thank you very much!

 

 

Have you tried any of the racetams? I suggest them because they aid in brain repair and are, for the most part, totally non toxic. Piracetam being the first one that became popular, is easy to find and not too expensive. There are others like aniracetam which might help. There are compounds which help with neuron growth and dendrite connectivity, such as lion's mane and other things.

 

Since stimulating dopamine has not lead to a breakthrough for you, it may be more productive to explore other avenues. 

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do u have white spots on ur finger nails?

 

niacinamide really helped me out 

Trosa, you need a diagnosis.  I would see a psychiatrist and get a full review including medications and history.   They will need to assess your mental state which includes you you look, how you behave, how you speak, what you say and how you say it, the way you respond to external stimuli, the nature of your thoughts, your insight, your judgement and the ability to establish rapport.  This all links back to diagnosis which is gold here. A psychiatrist can then suggest drugs that target the relevant neuro receptors until an effective set of medications is obtained. 

 

Questions they might ask:

Do you have depression symptoms with the ahedonia?

Do you get psychosis?

Do you get elevated "manic like" episodes?

What is the pattern of anxiety and stress?

Any significant past traumas including sexual abuse, bullying or near death experiences?

Any developmental delays?

Any cognitive delays or deficits?

Have you used methamphetamine before?

Have you had your thyroid levels checked?

What is the exact time course and progression of these periods.

These are the kind of questions that need to be thoroughly explored. I understand your friend is a doctor but with all respect to physicians, you definitely need an expert working on this.   Mt humble advice would be to accept a referral to a psychiatrist.  What you are describing is a debilitating illness.  I hope you can get the right help.

Koala

 

 

I think you should try talk therapy.  Try to get a good therapist.  Not all of them are.  Don't know if they have therapists in Cyprus, but apparently, they have drugs.   

Edited by Luminosity, 20 May 2014 - 05:23 AM.

You need a diagnosis, that is serious business. Don't keeping asking your doc for more stuff, you need to get some tests done and figure it out, otherwise you could screw yourself up worse by taking stuff you don't need. For example you probably didn't need the ativan after the wellbutrin, but some small acetylcholine support and maybe a lil tiny bit of a serotonin boost for a very short period of time, these two things address the commonest reasons people get worsened anxiety with wellbutrin. But now that you've had the ativan you're dealing with new stuff and it sounds like there are some complex overlapping issues, some people don't go back to "normal" for more than a year after stopping a benzo.

But Koala is right, you need to get referred out if your current doctor isn't helping you get a diagnosis.
Edited by Duchykins, 20 May 2014 - 05:52 AM.

wouldn't go and start anything till you get a diagnosis.  Talk therapy or psychotropic drugs aren't going to help if it's hypothyroidism or low testosterone.  

I apologise if this has been suggested, but try 25mg of amisulpiride, the prolactin increase can be reversed with a da agonist.

The issue of heavy metals, pathogens, and parasite accumulation in the brain and body needs to be addressed as a base in order to have your health back. Drs are finding tons of glyphosate and aluminum in everyone. Most people on this fourm seem to focus on drugs only to cure there issues as did I.

Good drugs like cerebrolysin, dihexa, 7,8 dihydro, ect will help but we need to address the problem of toxicity as a base.

I think the posts above are on point, I had quite some "mental issues" for years, and I was talking with apsychiatrist friend of mine, what I really had though was an undiagnosed chronic infection. If you once were better, thats very important, you should not try to cover your issues with drugs, its very important to find the root issue to your symptoms first.

Seriously, you do, have a most attractive face, and body, of the opposite gender, which looks like you, look around or on the internet for the face and you'll see you want a girl, and heaven/utopia place, and tasties foods and can keep eating and with partner and can get rid of one day all bad memories and thoughts and best games that don't end and get harder and even virtual mind living and can do infinite defying things with partner~ Like read my profile to see the similar writing there and all ways to try and live forever...Don't take any meds, I don't, you just need to know the right stuff/facts, also we are all each a consciousness, even animals, and we are conscious and each of us are equal~

Which of the following have you tried and what were your results?

 

Alcohol

GHB

Amphetamine or other stims

Opiates

Cannabinoids

MDMA

 

Based on that we can get an idea of what druggroup you respond to and find a long term solution.

#1: Take cognizin.  Lots and lots of cognizin.  In the mornings only.  It's also known as citicoline: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognizin

 

#2: Avoid entertainment.  Pursue a lifestyle where you are not exposed to enjoyment, such as vacations, playing videogames, going to the movies, socializing, etc.  This will ensure that, due to lowered dopaminergic activity, your neurons will upregulate expression for dopaminergic receptors and/or re-externalize receptors that have previously been internalized, and, will also downregulate expression for VMAT2 transporters so that you will have more innate dopamine hanging around in synaptic clefts.  Your brain will essentially be resensitizing yourself to reward once it realizes that all the overstimulation had quieted down.

 

#3: Abstain from use of any stimulant drugs including caffeine.  Anhedonia starts to reverse starting from 6 months of abstinence, and will complete back to baseline more or less, after 18 months.  This means 1.5 years of sobriety!

 

#4: Do not supplement with precursors to dopamine such as L-DOPA or Mucuna extract etc.  Your goal is to have as little dopamine around as possible.  Do not take any pharmaceutical medications -- they will chronically make you worse and will make you SEVERELY dependent on them.  Just leave your body alone and let it be.  Your brain will work its magic with the help of the cognizin.

 

 

Follow those 4 rules for your 18 months of abstinence/sobriety and you will feel reborn: alive with vigour, motivation, ambition, drives, and passions!  You'll thank me later!    Just sleep it off.  Sleep your days away and before you know it 1.5 years will have gone by and you'll be healed!  I promise!

forskloin might be worth a try 

#1: Take cognizin.  Lots and lots of cognizin.  In the mornings only.  It's also known as citicoline: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognizin

 

#2: Avoid entertainment.  Pursue a lifestyle where you are not exposed to enjoyment, such as vacations, playing videogames, going to the movies, socializing, etc.  This will ensure that, due to lowered dopaminergic activity, your neurons will upregulate expression for dopaminergic receptors and/or re-externalize receptors that have previously been internalized, and, will also downregulate expression for VMAT2 transporters so that you will have more innate dopamine hanging around in synaptic clefts.  Your brain will essentially be resensitizing yourself to reward once it realizes that all the overstimulation had quieted down.

 

#3: Abstain from use of any stimulant drugs including caffeine.  Anhedonia starts to reverse starting from 6 months of abstinence, and will complete back to baseline more or less, after 18 months.  This means 1.5 years of sobriety!

 

#4: Do not supplement with precursors to dopamine such as L-DOPA or Mucuna extract etc.  Your goal is to have as little dopamine around as possible.  Do not take any pharmaceutical medications -- they will chronically make you worse and will make you SEVERELY dependent on them.  Just leave your body alone and let it be.  Your brain will work its magic with the help of the cognizin.

 

 

Follow those 4 rules for your 18 months of abstinence/sobriety and you will feel reborn: alive with vigour, motivation, ambition, drives, and passions!  You'll thank me later!     Just sleep it off.  Sleep your days away and before you know it 1.5 years will have gone by and you'll be healed!  I promise!

 

Have you or anyone else actually done these things and gotten good results?  Otherwise, is there any evidence supporting these suggestions, specifically step #2?

 

Steps 1, 3, and 4 are straightforward, but step #2, in addition to "Sleep your days away..." is basically suggesting that people give up living for 1.5 years; quite a price for recommendations that may not actually work.

 

It seems that the reverse logic could also be applied -- Without any stimulating activities or environments, the dopamine receptors would be saying "There's nothing to respond to or get excited about, so why should we upregulate?  Why become sensitized to things that don't exist?"

 

It's one thing to selectively sensitize or desensitize to certain things by emphasizing or displacing with other things, but becoming apathetic to everything seems it could have the opposite effect of broadening and entrenching anhedonia.

 

Not criticizing your suggestions above, just seeking some real world evidence / testimony as to its effectiveness.

Im extremely skeptical hes suggestions will work as many people suffer from anhedonia without it being induced by drugs, hes suggestions might work in drug addicts that suffer from anhedonia as a result of their addiciton, in which case abstinence is the way to go.

 

I remember an anecdote of someone with anhedonia that forced himself into going out with ppl, doing activitys hed find fun without anhedonia but where unpleasant at the time and over a long time he reversed the anhedonia, this is the opposite of what is being suggested above.

medieval please pay me back the money you owe me.

you've blocked my private messages i noticed

No i cant get messages from anyone or send them i posted that in my thread, post your email in my profile.

Hi Trosar, I have exactly the same symptoms as you. I am suffering for 2 years. I have tried many drugs with no effect. Only 12.5 mg amisulpride showed some promise. But even it also stopped working. How are you now? Please reply so that I can get some hope.

The day OP posted this post was the day he joined longecity. This is his only post. May be he has committed suicide.

I would see a psychiatrist and get a full review including medications and history.   They will need to assess your mental state which includes you you look, how you behave, how you speak, what you say and how you say it, the way you respond to external stimuli, the nature of your thoughts, your insight, your judgement and the ability to establish rapport.  This all links back to diagnosis which is gold here. A psychiatrist can then suggest drugs that target the relevant neuro receptors until an effective set of medications is obtained. 

Ha ha ha, you funny guy!

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I would see a psychiatrist and get a full review including medications and history. They will need to assess your mental state which includes you you look, how you behave, how you speak, what you say and how you say it, the way you respond to external stimuli, the nature of your thoughts, your insight, your judgement and the ability to establish rapport. This all links back to diagnosis which is gold here. A psychiatrist can then suggest drugs that target the relevant neuro receptors until an effective set of medications is obtained.

Ha ha ha, you funny guy!

Not at all funny. Although modern psychopharmacology is really hit or miss, a correct diagnosis is what makes the possibility of remission more probable.