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[Lazarus Long]

EVANGELICAL SCIENTISTS REFUTE GRAVITY WITH INTELLIGENT FALLING THEORY


KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

Burdett added: "Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power."

(excerpts)

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This is far too controversial a notion to ignore please check out the err.. not really missing link ;~)

[Omnido]

Not to sound like an a-typical newbie using much overused abbreviations but...

"OMG!? ROFLMAO!"

I think that pretty much sums it up.
What will they think of next?
I can see it now:

Religious Leaders have disproved the existence of the universe as a whole, and all scientific evidence based upon the assumption that all of reality merely transpires inside their "God's" Mind.

Of course, there will be philosophers and theologists debating the concept of reality versus mental projection, the mind and existence, etc... but the fact that the religious doctrine(s) are even conjuring this idea at all, I find far more amusing than insulting. Its more laughable than it could ever be argumentative, and quite frankly, I would dismiss them outright upon the grounds of blatent stupidity.

Let them try to prove it.
Oh wait, religious faith doesnt require proof, oops... [!] [g:)] [g:)] [g:)]

[eternaltraveler]

You do realize that article is in the onion right? i.e. fake news.

[Cyto]

What is the picture from then?

[knite]

the onion is joke news
I can pick apart the theory right now if it wasnt, because they say that gravity isnt matter attracting matter, but god pushing everything on earth down, but how do you account for the way our moon works, the solar system orbits the sun, and the galaxy orbits the center, gravity is not a push or pull, its more of an attraction, one thing doesnt pull another, nor vice versa, even the earth has some(albeit small) effect on the sun, IE they attract eachother.

[Lazarus Long]

Yes it is the Onion.

Yes it is a joke or I should spell it out; s-a-t-i-r-e [lol] )

The picture is (if I remember correctly) from the Kansas Board of Ed during the recent debates over Intelligent Design.

[Set]

Reminds me of the Intelligent Design vs Evolution debate.
Same ignorance in the face of fact.
Even though it is fake news, it's not above what they would do.

Just because something is called a "theory" doesn't mean it's not fact. Science is just science.
Religion is simply there to control man and give explanations for something that is impossible to explain at the moment.

[Cyto]

Well, it just sounded so....them.

My bad. There I admit it. [lol]

http://212.58.226.40...tech/806704.stm


Here is the real one, taken from a science article. The Onion did a great job with the projection.

[Lazarus Long]

Yes it certainly does sound so much like the opposition for a good reason, it has been their position before historically. I thought it wonderful satire in its own right but also a remarkable insight into the minds and logic of those that oppose much of what we are trying to accomplish. The other side really does look at the world in much this way.

I enjoyed the spoof precisely because it accurately portrays a previous battle in the history of science that perfectly parallels the current debate, not just a very witty, tongue in cheek satire.

Even before the Copernican revolution the issue of *divine force* as a motive energy determining every action was an accepted doctrine and many believed it to be so. It was the first major hurdle that physics had to overcome to become physics.

It still permeates global culture to this day when the idea of an illness is believed to be an expression of *divine intent.* This extremely primitive idea is still remarkably popular around the world. Sickness for many people is treated as *punishment* and many people still resist treatment in less developed countries because they perceive illness as divine *will*.

This part is no joke as certain religions still practice this primitive logic and aspects of the argument are still woven into such important concerns as the debate over HIV and AIDS treatment.

It is also about when a *force of nature* understood by so many of us as simply *biology*, or in particular *genetics* is in turn understood by others as representative of *divine intent* or as it is more euphemistically known, Intelligent Design.

[Omnido]

I would classify "Intelligent Design" as genetic engineering and/or manipulation.

"Supernatural Design" would better suffice, no?

Still, quite the satire. [thumb]

[treonsverdery]

well, here at the tinfoil hat maison I've thought that gravity is related to the chronospacing known as "time" you know, the word that "keeps everything from happening at once" I percieve that prior to "time" "gravity" was different.

Edited by treonsverdery, 02 November 2006 - 06:09 AM.