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like, something feels weird, so you decide to keep playing with the ingredients and then later you come to the realization that the "weird" feeling was something good that you labelled "weird" because of not being used to it?

 

and then you try to go back to that specific cocktail and it doesn't work like it did the first time?

 

so annoying, happens to me way to often- my psychiatrist rightfully deemed my experimentalism as an expression of an inability to have trust/faith in things/life. i guess one has to learn to be a better observer of one's emotional states. by means of meditation?

 

(i hope i could more or less express myself congruently- my verbal skills are shot ATM.)

 

so this is a bit beside the point but - lamotrigine+effexor+olanzapine kinda worked for me, yet i decided to ditch effexor and I've been back on this particular cocktail for 4 weeks without results :(