Unfortunately, one of the effects I'm looking for help with, is the fact that lately, my brain doesn't really seem to work as well as it used to, and it's really hard for me to form thoughts and talk and get my thoughts out, so sorry if some of this doesn't make sense.
It's mainly two things that are bothering me lately. The first, is a few years ago, I was on paxil for a while, and the worst side effect, I believe was akathisia. Basically I couldn't sit still, couldn't focus or enjoy anything, racing thoughts, couldn't stop moving, all of that. I went off the paxil about two years ago (which was a bitch, took me three times until I finally stayed off it) but that effect never really went away. It's still hard for me to just sit down and read or focus like I used to.
It kindof segues into my second main issue, my memory isn't nearly as good as it used to be, there was a lot of constant stress for me last year, constant panic attacks and anxiety and depression, and somewhere along the way I feel like my brain broke. Now I can't focus on anything, but rather than racing thoughts, like with the paxil, it's like I just can't hold attention, or hold thoughts and memories in my head. I'm trying to work through all this stuff with my counselor, but going through my day, I'll keep remembering things I want to talk to him about, but then I forget it before I have a chance to write it down. Also a lot of ideas and beliefs I have, that I'm trying to change, but every time I find or remember something that helps, again, I can't hold on to the thought, or really get it in my head, and I end up forgetting everything that helps, and making no progress.
I've been reading about, and trying, supplements for years, and I'm kindof out of ideas now. I can't list all the supplements I've tried (I've tried so many) but I've mostly leaned towards vitamins and nutrients. It feels like everything I take to help with anxiety and all (magnesium, glycine, bacopa, all the typical anti-anxiety supplements) kinda help make my brain shut down more, it's harder to think, and hold thoughts, it's harder to make myself do anything. And everything I take that's supposed to help with energy and focus and all (different choline sources, phenylalanine, tyrosine, gingko, ALCAR, I can't remember the others I've tried) they kinda help give me racing thoughts, so I can't think through anything, or do anything, and it makes me more anxious and irritable.
I keep reading more, trying new stuff, and I'm just getting overwhelmed and burnt out. Everything slows me down too much or makes me way too active. And nothing seems to help my memory and mental issues I want to fix. Basically I'm just wondering if anyone will have any ideas what hypothetically may be wrong with me, or new ideas of what I should try next.
Thank you.
Edit: stupid computer closed the window before I saved my edits, and now I can't remember most of what I was trying to say. Basically, I'm thinking my memory issues are from stress damage or cortisol damage, there was a lot of chronic stress in my life for a while. I spent a long time repressing memories and thoughts as a coping mechanism, so I kindof wonder if trying to focus, elicits a stress response from me now. I get easily overwhelmed when I try to focus. I'm also wondering if I'm having adrenal issues, for a long time when I got stressed, I'd get angry, blood pressure would go up, all the typical stuff, then after a while I just broke, stopped reacting, I don't know, just went to the opposite extreme. Lined up with low cortisol symptoms, from what I've read. I'm trying to meet with doctors soon, but from what I've seen most of them don't really seem too open to doing the kinds of tests people here might suggest.
Edited by Aedin, 06 July 2014 - 12:29 AM.
